Everything I Can't Say by JinxCokeJam and Elly10
by JinxCokeJam
Summary: What if Pam had taken that Dunder Mifflin internship during Season 3? What would Jim think? An AU season 3 fic that deals with a side of Pam that we didn't get to see "She's going to prove to everyone that she's not this fragile little flower that's
1. Chapter 1

-1Pam scrubbed forcefully against her kitchen counter. It was 3:45 AM and she was in the middle of deep cleaning her kitchen. She hastily brushed a curl away from her forehead as she turned her attention to the sink. She was running on about 3 hours of sleep but she had never felt more energized in her life. Jim was coming back. Back to Scranton; back to her. Today, she thought, was going to be the beginning of something great and the anxious feeling that filled her entire body was fueling this early morning cleaning session. She felt that if she stopped moving for a moment, the frightening excitement she was feeling would swallow her whole.

Around 6:00, when there was not another surface anywhere in her whole apartment that she could clean Pam collapsed on the couch. She glanced at the clock on the wall. 3 hours…only 3 hours until he would walk back into her life. The past 6 months since Jim had gone to Stamford had been some of the most challenging, yet surprisingly eye opening months of her life. It was May 21st and Pam was dreading the thought of her bridal shower the next day. What bride dreads their own bridal shower? It was then she knew. She knew that she couldn't go through with the wedding. She knew that marrying Roy would end up being the biggest mistake of her life. He cried when she told him. Asked why over and over again. He made hundreds of promises, but she knew he would eventually break them all. Despite it all when she finally drove away she felt a huge weight being lifted off her shoulders.

Pam pulled herself off the couch. She had laid out the outfit she wanted to wear last night. She'd bought a new gray skirt that she thought fitted nicely. She had also been practicing on new ways to do her hair. She felt like a 13 year old girl getting ready for her first dance. Pam headed into the bathroom hoping a long, hot shower would help calm her nerves. After showering Pam set to work on her hair. She wanted something new, something he would notice. After carefully blow drying it Pam set it in hot rollers and went to the kitchen to make some tea. She carefully filled the green teapot with water and set it on the stove to heat. It's ironic that the teapot that she's using to calm her down was given to her by the one person who could make her feel like her heart was about to beat out of her chest. She thinks back on all the memories they shared. The pranks, the high-fives, the laughs and she smiles thinking that they can go back to that and take it somewhere farther.

Pam left her house around 7:30. She had to stop by the store and pick up some supplies for Michael's "Welcoming" party. She checks herself in the mirror once more before walking out. Her hair is perfect. She put on make-up that defines her green eyes. She even really liked the sweater/skirt combo that she had chosen. The nervous flutter that was in her stomach started to build as she climbed into her car to head to the store. By the time she pulled into the Dunder Mifflin parking lot around 8:15 she had trouble controlling the smile that was spread across her face.

She was feeling so happy that she didn't even care that the camera crew immediately sought her out and began pestering her with questions.

"_Yes, I am in a good mood today." _she said when Greg, the documentary producer, commented on her demeanor. _"I'm excited to meet all of the new people….and to see my old friend again. That's always a thing that makes people happy…to have an old friend back."_

She was sitting at her desk when she heard the door open…and there he was.

"_No way! Get him out of here!" _Michael said rushing to greet him. _"We don't want this kind in here."_

This was it. The moment she had been waiting six long months for. She nervously smoothed her hair. Finally he saw her and she could barely contain her excitement.

"_Hi…I'm Jim…I'm new here."_

"_Oh my gosh! It's really you!" _Before she knew it she was out of her chair and hurrying towards him. She threw her arms around his neck and was relieved that he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"_It's good to be back." _he said pulling away from her, his eyes taking her in. _"The place looks really good."_

His eyes had found her the minute he opened the door to the office. She looked amazing. There was something different about her hair…her expression. His heart fluttered as she rushed towards him and wrapped him in a hug.

"_It's so good to see you!" Pam continued._

"_You too."_ he thought he had finally been able to move on. But then why after only being near her for five seconds did he feel like nothing had changed. "This can't be good." he thought to himself.

The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful, at least for Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Ryan had his desk. Dwight and Andy immediately started a weird power-trip competition. Kelly had filled him in on the important news of which celebrity had had a baby. He sat next to her when Michael made everyone go into the conference room for a "The Official Merger Day - All Family - Welcome Breakfast".

The morning went by so fast that she didn't really have time to dwell on the fact that he had to try desperately to avoid her gaze every time he got up from his desk. She hoped that it was just her imagination. That maybe he just needed a bit of time to get back into the swing of things. She hoped that the awkward feeling would go away if she could just get a minute alone with him. But when she got that moment she knew the awkwardness was just beginning.

She had seen him go into the break room and so she quietly got up from her desk and followed him in.

"_Hey…" _she said as she watched him pull a bottle of water from the machine. _"What happened to grape soda?"_

"_Oh…yeah…I'm trying to move away from that. I'm getting into more of a bottled water phase now." _ he said.

"_Wow…you've changed so much." _she was trying desperately to grasp at any remnant of the past. Any hint from him that things could go back to the way they were.

"_Well, I'm evolving Pam." _he said with a small smile.

"_So when do I get to hear everything? You want to grab a coffee or something after work?"_

He tried to ignore the hopeful tone in her voice as he looked at her and said, _"Tonight? No…I'm still getting settled."_ He could see the disappointment in her face almost immediately.

"_Oh yeah…that's fine." _Pam whispered as Michael walked in.

"_Oh sorry. Hope I'm not interrupting anything." _Michael said with a meaningful glance in Jim's direction.

"_Nope." _Jim said quickly heading for the door. _"Not interrupting anything. I should probably get back to work."_ Then he was gone.

Pam wrapped her arms tightly around her body as she watched him go. Maybe this wasn't going to be the fairytale ending she had hoped for. Maybe it was too late.

Later that day when they were standing out in the parking lot listening to Michael give details about the retaliation he was planning on Vance Refrigeration her worst fears were confirmed. She saw it. The soft hand on his back that didn't belong to her, but to someone else. Someone new. She stood as if frozen watching in dismay as the future she was hoping for slipped farther and farther away. Then reality struck. She had been convinced that he had been so in love with her that even though so much time had passed he was going to come back with the same feelings and hopes as before. She knew she had hurt him. She had seen it in his face…in a small tear on his cheek. She was selfish to have assumed that he would want to come back to that.

The rest of the day passed in slow motion for Pam. She couldn't bear to look at him for fear that she would start crying. She busied herself at her desk. At 4:50 she went and hid in the bathroom so she wouldn't have to see goodbye to him. Finally at 5:10 she came out. He was gone. She shut down her computer and slowly made her way to the lobby. As she was walking to her car she heard a familiar voice call out to her.

"_Hey…"_

"_Hey" _she said surprised to see him.

"_I thought you had already left." _

"_No..I had some things to take care of. What's up?"_

"_I just feel bad," _he began. _"Like things were a little weird today...or something."_

"_What do you mean?" _she asked knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"_I just think that I should tell you….I sort of started seeing someone."_

Despite the fact that she had already assumed as much, the pure fact of him saying it out loud hit her harder than she thought it would.

"_Oh…that's totally cool. You can do whatever you want." _She didn't know why she was making it sound like she had to give him permission. He didn't owe her anything. She had made her choice.

"_Oh…ok…good." _he said a little confused. He was almost hoping that she would fight for him a little. Maybe it really was over and he had made the right choice to try and move on.

"_We're friends…" _ she said softly turning back to her car. _"We'll always be friends."_

"_Right…" _she thought maybe she had noticed a look of disappointment cross his face, but she brushed it aside.

"_Good to have you back!" _she said feigning cheerfulness. She had barely made it into her car when tears started to fill her eyes. She tried her hardest to hold them in as she drove home. She didn't want to acknowledge the loss she was feeling. She opened the door to her apartment and without even bothering to undress, curled up into a ball on her bed. It was then, in the dark emptiness of her bedroom that the tears came. She sobbed herself to sleep as the hurt and anguish crashed over her. He was gone. She was too late. It was over.


	2. Chapter 2

-1The next month passed by quickly and quietly. There were no more pranks. No laughs over a shared can of coke. Nothing that hinted to any remnant of what used to be. They came to work, did their jobs and went home. Him with Karen and her…by herself. Karen was nice enough. She was beautiful and sophisticated. The kind of woman more suited for a high corporate position than as a salesperson in a paper company. She could make Jim laugh and could probably show him more about the world than Pam ever could. Pam would kick herself when she would catch herself staring at the back of Jim's neck. They didn't talk except when they had too. Sometimes he would throw a smile her way when Michael had done something particularly annoying. At first Pam would look forward to those glances…the flash in his eyes…his smile. But as time passed he shared more of those knowing looks with Karen and less with Pam. Pam was tired. She was tired of trying to pretend that her heart didn't ache every time she would see Karen lean in close to him. She was tired of pretending to be okay with the fact that Karen would often ask Pam for ideas of romantic restaurants in the area. She needed a break. Time away from Dunder Mifflin, from Scranton and most of all…from Jim.

Ring Ring

"_Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam." her tone flat and expressionless._

"_Oh good! Just the person I was trying to reach!" _the voice on the other end exclaimed. "_It's Jan. Is this a good time to talk?"_

Pam looked around the office. Michael was locked in his office with his head on his desk and like usual no one else was even looking her way.

"_Yes."_

"_Great. Well here's the thing. I know the last time we talked you told me that you weren't going to be able to take the art internship that the company offers, but I just wanted to call and let you know that another internship has opened up."_

Pam's heart caught in her throat.

"_It starts in January." _Jan continued. _"I just wanted to call and see if you would be at all interested."_

Pam was stunned. Here she was sitting and thinking about how she could possibly leave Scranton and no less then ten minutes later a reason fell into her lap.

"_Well what does it entail?" _she asked.

"_Well this one is a little different than the one before." _Jan said. _"It's a paid graphic arts internship and you'd actually get to do a lot of work with some big companies here in the city. The only thing is that you'd actually have to come and live in New York for the duration of the internship. The company has an apartment available so housing wouldn't be a problem."_

"_How long is the internship?"_

"_6 months." _Jan said. _"Don't worry though. Your job will be available to you when you are done or perhaps there will be a higher position that you can interview for."_

6 months? Wow. Pam didn't know what to say. She looked up from her computer to see Jim at Karen's desk bent down close to her ear laughing about something. It was at that moment that something inside of her snapped. She straightened herself up and gripping the phone tightly said, _"You know what Jan? I am very interested in the internship. I'll take it."_

"_Great! I am so glad to hear it!" _Jan said. _"I'm going to need you to come to New York _

_as soon as possible to work out some details and sign some things."_

"_Well…I'm going to have to tell Michael…" _Pam began.

"_No…don't worry about Michael. I have to send paperwork about it to him anyways, so I will take care of that."_

Pam took a deep breath. _"Oh…okay well…I guess I can be in New York tomorrow." _

"_Really? That's great! We'll just have you sign some things and then you can be back home in time for Christmas. Well, Pam…I am so excited that you've decided to do this. I think it will be a really good experience for you."_

"_I think so too. Thanks." _said Pam.

"_I will see you sometime tomorrow." _Jan said and with a click the line went dead.

Pam slowly hung up the phone. She was in shock. Did she really just agree to a six month internship in New York? Doubt almost instantly clouded her thoughts, but she pushed them away. She needed to do this. Needed to make a change.

The rest of the day was a blur. Pam sat quietly through Angela's Nutcracker Christmas party. She watched numbly as Jim and Karen hugged over their gifts to each other. Only when Jim said goodbye at the end of the day did she snap out her trance long enough to mutter, "goodbye".

Then it hit her. This was it. She was leaving. She wasn't going to see Jim anymore. She was finally fulfilling her dream of working in art and yet when she had pictured it before Jim was always a part of it. She waited until everyone had left for the night before she took her few personal items from her desk and put them in a small box. Her hand lingered on the gold medal made from a yogurt lid and paper clips that hung from her lamp. Slowly she picked it up and fingered it gently. It was amazing how something so small could mean so much to her and yet it was why she was leaving. She carefully placed the medal inside the box and with one last look around the office she pushed open the door and was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

-1The trip to New York had been so fast that Pam barely had time to think. One minute she was leaving Dunder Mifflin and the next she was in Jan's office signing papers.

"_Now like I said earlier." _Jan said. _"You will be able to stay in the apartment we have during the course of your internship. However, you will have a roommate. Her name is…Natalee Shepard. She's another one of our interns."_

A roommate? Pam had never had an actual roommate before. She had moved in with Roy almost immediately after she graduated from high school. Her first reaction was to feel apprehensive about the whole situation, but as she thought about it more she decided maybe that is just what she needed.

"_I've met her," _Jan continued. _"She is really dedicated. I am sure you will get along really well."_

"_Ok…" _Pam said lamely. She was so overwhelmed by the enormity of what she was about to do.

"_Here is the key and building information. You can start moving your stuff in whenever you want. I think Natalee has already moved in, but she is home for the holidays. Your orientation is January 3rd at 10:00."_

Pam took the key and papers that Jan handed her. Her heart was beating so loud she thought it would break out of her chest.

"_Well…I think that is everything. I am really excited that you decided to do this." _Jan said standing to shake Pam's hand.

"_Yeah…me too."_

"_Oh…and I faxed over the paperwork to Michael last night. I am waiting for a call from him to finalize everything. You should be good to go though. Are you heading home?"_

"_Yeah I am. I'm going to spend a couple days with my family and then get some stuff ready to come up here." _Pam said walking with Jan to the door of the office.

"_Well have a great holiday and we'll see you in January." _Jan waved and then closed the door.

Pam walked outside with her head in a fog. She felt like she was in some sort of weird dream. This couldn't really be happening. She was moving…in a week. To New York City. She'd only been to New York once when her parents had taken her to see the Statue of Liberty and that was when she was five. She took a deep breath and sat down on a bench. Her chest was throbbing. She couldn't tell if it was because of nerves, anxiety or for the simple fact that she missed him.

She wanted to walk, needed to clear her head, but she didn't want to get lost. "Why in the hell am I doing this?" she thought to herself. "I am too big a chicken to do this. It took ten years for me to get my own apartment." She thought seriously about going back inside and telling Jan that she changed her mind. She even walked in and out of the lobby twice before finally just walking to her car.

The whole drive back to Scranton her head was filled with a million different thoughts. What if she failed? What if she succeeded? Would he ever think about her? Would he miss her? As she drove her nerves calmed and she actually started to feel excited. This was the type of adventure she had always dreamed about and now here it was right in front of her. She needed to grab it and hold on to it as tight as she could.

She pulled into the parking lot at her apartment and hurried inside. She quickly grabbed a suitcase and started throwing things into it. She wanted to get to her parents house as soon as possible so that she could share her news with them. She couldn't believe the timing of Jan's offer. She had only signed a six month lease when she had moved out of the house she shared with Roy. It was up this month. It was time for a clean break. A fresh start. It was almost as if fate was telling her this is exactly what she should be doing.

Once she had her back packed she quickly locked the door and got into her car. She was feeling free…lighter than she had in a long time. She had to push the thoughts of Jim out of her head. They had both made choices and now they had to live with the ramifications. She put in her favorite John Mayer CD and cranked the volume up. The highway stretched out in front of her and she was ready.

Pam smiled as she pulled onto the oak tree lined street. The Christmas lights that twinkled on the passing houses were just as she had always remembered. She had grown up on this street. This was the type of neighborhood where everyone knew everyone. She passed kids on their bikes and people standing outside talking to their neighbors. She pulled up in front of a white two story house. She got out of her car and stared up at the house. This was the house Pam grew up in. The house where she had all her Christmases. The tree out front that she had spent hours climbing. The porch where she had her first kiss. She loved coming home.

"_Pam!?!" _the front door flew open. Pam looked up to see her sister Kate flying off the porch. Pam had always had a close relationship with her younger sister even though they were the total opposite of each other. Kate was tall with long, silky red hair. She had always been popular in high school, involved in softball and track. Despite the four year age difference they had always been close. Kate had been the one that Pam called when she would have a fight with Roy. She was one of her main supporters when Pam had broken up with Roy. And most of all…she was the one that was there…no questions asked when Pam cried to herself to sleep after Casino Night.

"_Hi!!" _Pam hurried to her sister and threw her arms around her. _"Look at you! You look great!"_

"_Thanks! So do you!"_

"_I look the same as always, but thanks!" _Pam mumbled.

"_We weren't expecting you until tomorrow! I am so happy you're here!!" _Kate said enthusiastically.

"_Yeah…some things came up and I was able to get away early."_ Kate instantly knew something was up as she took Pam's bag from her hand and led her into the house.

Pam walked into the entryway of her parents house and took off her jacket. She sighed happily. Everything was the same. The sounds, the smells, it was just as Pam remembered it. Pictures filled the bookcase that was right inside the door. Pam looked fondly at the pictures. Pam and Kate at Kate's high school graduation. Kate's prom picture. A family picture at the beach. Pam and Kate up in the tree when they were little. Pam did notice that there was some empty spaces on the bookshelf and she knew why. At one time a lot of the pictures had included Roy.

Pam thought back to the night before bridal shower. Kate and her mom Diane, had come into to town for the night. Kate was out with a friend that lived in Scranton, so Pam and her mom were working on some last minute wedding details. Pam had been sitting there for 20 minutes staring blankly at the seating chart.

"So what do you think? Pam? Hello?!" Diane had said tapping Pam lightly on the shoulder.

"What? Oh…yeah it's fine."

Diane Beesly always prided herself on having a close relationship with her daughters, but she had always had a special connection to Pam. Along with her bright green eyes, Pam had also inherited Diane's quiet demeanor. She'd known for awhile. Known that there was a reason for her daughters unhappiness. She had been the one Pam had called after Jim told her he loved her. Pam had admitted to Diane that she loved him too, but she just couldn't…couldn't take that chance. She had cried in Diane's arms when she found out that Jim had moved…hadn't said goodbye. And yet here they were putting the finishing touches on Pam's wedding to a man that Diane knew she didn't truly love.

"Pam…" Diane began softly. She stopped when Pam looked up at her. Her eyes glistening with tears.

"I can't do it mom. I…just can't do it. I can't marry him."

Diane knew that she should have been surprised, but deep down she was relieved. Relieved that her daughter had gathered enough courage to admit to herself that this wasn't what she wanted. She had reached over and taken Pam's hand and whispered, "Ok."

The sound of Kate closing the door jarred Pam out of her thoughts.

"_Mom and Dad ran to the store. They should be back any time. They will be so excited that you are here! Come on!!"_ Kate led the way into the living room. Pam smiled when she saw the tree with all the old ornaments and the red and green knit stockings hanging over the fireplace.

Kate flopped onto the couch and motioned for Pam to sit next to her.

"_What's up Pam? You look…different."_

"_Well I kind of have some big news…but I want to wait for Mom and Dad…so I can tell you all together."_

As if on cue they heard the front door open.

"_Kate!! They didn't have white melting chocolate…I hope that reg…" _her mom stopped short when she saw Pam sitting on the couch. _"Pam!! You're here!! We didn't think we'd get to see you until tomorrow!"_

"_Hi Mom!" _Pam said rushing to give her mom a hug. _"Daddy!!" _Pam said as her dad, Ben, walked in his arms full of groceries.

"_Pam!" _he hurried to set them down so that he could hug his eldest daughter. _"We thought you couldn't come until tomorrow!"_

"_Pam has some big news…_" Kate said.

"_Oh really?" _Diane asked sitting down in the large armchair next to the couch.

"_Come on…spill it Pammy!!"_ Kate said. Pam rolled her eyes at the sound of her old nickname, but she knew that Kate was only one that she would get away with still using it.

"_Well…yesterday at work I got a call from Jan at the corporate office…she is the head of all the branches on the east coast. She told me that there was a six month art internship in New York and she asked me if I would be interested in doing it. And…I took it."_

Pam immediately looked at Diane to see her reaction. A look of surprise and excitement mixed with confusion was on her face. Pam knew the cause for the confusion. All she had talked about for the last week whenever Diane would call her was the fact that Jim was coming back to Scranton. She could tell that that was the question running through Diane's mind.

"_Wow Pam! That is awesome." _Kate said jumping up to hug her.

"_Really Pam. That is terrific! We are so proud of you honey!" _Ben said.

Pam turned and looked at her mom. _"Mom? What do you think?"_

"_When does it start?"_ Diane asked slowly.

"_January 3rd."_

"_What about work?"_

"_Well it's a paid internship…and there is actually an apartment that the company owns that I am going to live in with another intern." _Pam said.

"_Wait…you'll have to live in New York?"_

"_Yes, but only for six months." _Pam knew the reason for all the questions.

Diane stood up and looked Pam square in the eye. _"Is this what you really want to do?"_

Pam took a deep breath and said confidently, _"Yes Mom. This is exactly what I want to do."_

The look in Pam's eyes and the assurance in her voice was all Diane needed. She just smiled and said, _"Well then…congratulations! That is wonderful honey!"_

"_Thanks Mom." _Pam breathed a sigh of relief as Diane pulled her into a warm hug.

The rest of the evening passed by filled with talking and laughter. Pam loved being with her family. They ate and wrapped presents by the tree. Kate told them all about her crazy roommate and Diane and Pam just laughed while Kate and Ben argued over who the best player on the Phillies was. Every so often Pam would catch Diane looking at her curiously and she knew that a more detailed explanation of her recent decision was inevitable.

At 9:00 Ben had turned on the news and Kate was getting ready to go out and meet some friends. Pam went into the kitchen to help her mom with the dishes. The worked in silence for a few minutes when Diane finally stopped and turned to Pam.

"_Ok…Pam…what happened?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You know exactly what I mean. Last month you could barely contain your excitement at the prospect of Jim coming back to Scranton and now…your moving to New York? What happened?"_

Pam rested her hands on the counter and sighed deeply. _"Nothing happened Mom. That's the problem."_

Diane set the dish towel down on the counter and gestured for Pam to sit down at the table. _ "What happened the day Jim came back? Did you talk to him?"_

"_Yeah…I did…well kind of. I asked him if he wanted to go get coffee and he said no. Then later on…" _Pam stopped. The image of Karen's hand on his back was still burned into her mind.

"_He has a girlfriend. A girl that came with him from the Stamford branch. Her name is Karen."_

"_Oh Pam…"_

Pam felt the tears begin to burn in her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. She wasn't going to do this. Not anymore. _"So…he came back and we haven't really talked since. That's it. There is nothing there for me anymore."_

"_Well…maybe this internship will be a good thing then. Get you some of your life back. What did Jim say when you told him you were leaving?"_

"_Um…" _Pam haltered.

"_Oh Pam. You didn't tell him?"_

"_No I didn't. And you know what? I don't think he would care anyways."_

"_I know you don't really believe that." _Diane said softly laying a hand over Pam's.

"_Mom…I have spent every day of the past month watching him with her. Watching them laugh and smile. He barely looks at me. I know I hurt him. Why on earth I thought I deserved a second chance I'll never know. But I didn't get one…so it doesn't matter. Besides what was I supposed to do? Go up to him and say…hey…you blew me off so I'm moving away?"_

"_I don't know what you should have said, but I do know how much it hurt you when he didn't say goodbye." _Diane stood up and went back to the sink. _"Just think about it okay?"_

Pam stared silently out the window watching the snow fall softly to the ground. It did hurt that he didn't say goodbye, but she couldn't go back there and face him again. Couldn't watch him with _her_ anymore. Everything was different now and she had to move on.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Jim was surprised to walk into work Tuesday morning and see Ryan behind the reception desk. Even though he and Pam had only exchanged brief hellos in the past month he still looked forward to seeing her every morning.

"_Hey…" _he nodded at Ryan as he made his way to his desk.

Karen came in a few minutes later pausing at his desk to give him a quick hug and to tell him thanks for dinner the night before. Everything was quiet until Michael came stomping in around 9:15. He hurried into his office and slammed the door. Jim and Karen exchanged confused looks, but no one said anything. Jim occasionally cast glances towards Michaels office. Sometimes he was on the phone gesturing exaggeratedly and other times he had his head down on his desk. Jim brushed it off seeing as it was Michael and continued about his work. A few minutes later when he went up to grab a jelly bean from the container that usually sat on Pam's desk he was surprised to see that it wasn't there, but he didn't read too much into it.

Around 10:30 Dwight went over to reception to fax something.

"_Hey Temp. What you doing over here? Michael make you answer the phones because you can't make a sale?"_

"_No…" _Ryan said looking a little embarrassed. "_There was just a message on my phone this morning saying that I needed to cover reception because Pam was going to be gone."_

"_Speaking of where is Pam? She doesn't have any sick days left since she called off the wedding."_ Dwight said nosily.

"_I don't know Dwight. The message just said to cover reception."_

"_I don't believe you." _Dwight said storming off to Michael's office. He flung open the door. _"Michael…where is Pam? As Assistant Regional Manager it is my job to keep track of how many "sick" days our employees take. Question: Do I need to launch an investigation?"_

"_Shhhuuutt it Dwight. Today is not the day for your shenaninings." _Michael walked to the door of his office. _"If you want to know where Pam is so badly why don't you ask Jim. She probably told him all about it."_

_"Um…Pam hasn't told me anything Michael." _Jim said turning in his chair.

_"Oh really? So you're telling me that you have no idea why she abandoned our little family to move to New York?" _

Jim immediately stiffened in his chair. Did he hear Michael right?

"_What did you say?" _he asked slowly.

"_Listen up everybody! I have an announcement." _Michael said loudly. "_I was informed last night that our very own Pam Beesly is no longer employed at the Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch. According to the message left by Jan…on my home phone…late last night…Pam has left to go to New York and will probably never think of us little people again."_

Heat surged through Jim's body. She's gone? What the hell? When? He heart was beating so hard he thought it was going to explode. He had to get out. He stood up and shoved his chair towards his desk so hard that it knocked over his picture frame. He stormed out of the office slamming the door behind him leaving behind him an office full of stunned colleagues.

Jim couldn't remember a time when he had felt so many emotions at once. He was angry, hurt and heartbroken. He banged open the door to the stairwell and sagged down against the wall. "How in the HELL could she do this?" Jim thought angrily accidentally bumping the back of his head against the wall. Thoughts were reaching through his mind, "Why didn't she tell me she was leaving? Why did she leave? Will I ever see her again?" But was sure he knew the answer to those questions. He knew the tension that had been between them the past month since he had been back...hell, the tension that had been there since he left Scranton. As he sat in the quiet of the stairwell he thought back over his past month back at Scranton. He didn't even pretend to be the kind of friend that he should've been when he came back. He had come back fully armored…even using Karen as a sort of shield. What did it matter? It's not like she loved him anyway. Not like he loved her. He could count the number of conversations they had on one hand. The sadness on her face when he had turned down her invitation to get coffee just about broke his heart, but there was no way he could go back to living for whatever little scrap of affection she would give him. He couldn't live like that anymore.

Karen couldn't help but stare at the direction in which Jim had just stormed off. He was usually so relaxed that to see him act that way came as a shock to her. She waited until the rest of the office refocused on their work and then slowly stood up and walked out of the office. She found him in the stairwell, slumped against the wall with his head in his hands. His head shot up as he heard the door click shut.

"_Hey…" _Karen said cautiously approaching him.

"_Hey…" _he muttered in a gruff tone that she didn't recognize.

Karen leaned up against the wall next to him. He still didn't look at her.

"_So um…what happened up there?" _

Jim sighed. As much as he appreciated Karen caring he did not want to talk about this with anyone. Especially not her. She didn't know about him and Pam…about the kiss…the history. He knew he had to come up with something.

"_Oh you know Dwight." _Jim said straightening up. _"Some days I just really can't handle him."_

"_Dwight is like that all the time…"_ Karen said. "_You never have reacted like that before. What did he say this time?"_

"_It's not important." _Jim said.

Karen tried to ignore the fact that Jim wouldn't make eye contact with her. She thought that maybe there was something he wasn't telling her, but she didn't want push him. Instead she reached down, grabbed his hand and said, _"Come on Halpert. Go sell some paper and show Dwight who's a better salesman."_

Jim smiled at her weakly and followed he back into the office.

Pam was sitting in her living room surrounded by moving boxes. She had spent a great Christmas with her family and now her mom and Kate were in her apartment helping her pack. She quickly labeled another box and proceeded to tape it shut. She stood up and looked around. It was amazing that after only a couple of hours almost all of her belongings were packed away.

"_We better hurry and get the rest of this closet packed up before your dad gets back with the U-haul" _Diane said opening the small hall closet. She began taking things out and handing them to Kate who carefully began placing them in a large box. Pam just sat and stared…watching as her whole life was being condensed into a few cardboard boxes. Suddenly a familiar gray shoe box caught her eye.

"_This isn't labeled." _Diane said. _"What do you want us to mark it as?"_

"_Oh.." _Pam said. _"Actually I'll take that one." _She carefully took the box. _"I'll um..be right back." _ Pam slowly walked back to her bedroom. After closing the door, Pam sunk to the floor and opened the box. It was filled with momementos of the past few years. It was her "Jim" box. She smiled to herself as she pulled out each item and thought of the memory that it contained. Paper doves from the Office Olympics, an empty grape soda can from dinner on the roof and a mix tape that Jim had made of songs he thought she'd like. There was also the contents of the teapot that Jim had given her for Christmas the year before. There was the small yellow pencil from when they had gone Putt-Putt golfing as one of Michael's "team building" activities. Jim had bet her that if he won she would have to eat lunch with Dwight everyday for the whole next week. Luckily for Pam he wasn't very good at putting, but he still accused her of changing his score. There was also the boggle timer that he had used see how much time it took for Dwight to get out of the box he had duct taped him into. There was his high school yearbook picture and a hot sauce packet. So many memories filled this box. She wondered if Jim did this when he packed up and moved to Stamford; if he had a box of memories just for them. She was sure that if he did he probably threw it out after that night…the night when he had laid it all on the line and she had said no…twice.

"_Pam? The U-haul is here." _Pam heard her mom call.

Pam carefully packed all the memories back inside the box. Clutching it tightly she opened the door and walked back down the hall. Her dad and Kate were loading boxes into the truck.

"_Want me to pack that box?" _Diane asked gesturing to the box in Pam's hands.

Pam looked down at the box and smiled. _"No…that's okay. This one stays with me."_

Pam stared blankly out the window as the trees of Scranton raced by. Kate was driving her car and was talking non-stop about her adventures in grad school. It was a welcome distraction from Pam's thoughts and she felt bad that she wasn't paying more attention. She stiffened as they passed the road that led to Dunder Mifflin. She didn't know why. It's not like she would see him. She tried to turn her attention back to her sister, but ending up just staring out the window again.

"_So anyways…Rachel told Craig that she didn't want to see him anymore and so he took that as an invitation to start texting me. It is so annoying! At least 10 times a day…" _Kate tapered off when she saw Pam's blank stare.

"_Pam?"_

Pam jerked around to look at her sister. _"What? Oh…Kate…I'm sorry. I guess my mind is just somewhere else right now."_

Kate smiled sympathetically at her sister. _"Pam…I know this is hard. I can't imagine…but your making a good choice. This is going to be great!"_

Pam nodded. _"It will be won't it?"_

The rest of the drive passed by quickly. Pam and Kate talked and laughed and sung along with the radio. Before Pam knew it they had entered the city. After a couple of wrong turns they finally found their way to the building where Pam would be living. As they parked in front of it Pam looked up in awe. It was beautiful! Tall and shiny with great big windows.

"_This can't be the right place." _she said to Kate as they climbed out of the car.

"_It has to be…." _Kate said, checking the directions in her hand. _"Yup…90 Washington Street. This is the place. You know…for a midsize paper company, Dunder Mifflin sure has style!"_

"_Yeah…" _Pam breathed. After grabbing a couple bags from Pam's car they made their way into the lobby. The sun the was pouring through the wide windows glistened off the white marble floors. "This is insane." Pam thought to herself. A pleasant looking, older man sitting behind a desk called out to them, "Can I help you ladies with something?"

"_Yes," _Pam said approaching the desk. _"I am moving in. Pam Beesly…apartment 1214..."_

"_Ah…yes of course. You're with Dunder Mifflin?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Alright, well take this elevator up to the twelfth floor, make a left and your apartment will be on the right."_

"_Great! Thanks….I didn't catch your name."_

"_Frank…"_

"_Nice to meet you Frank." _Pam said following Kate towards the elevator.

They took the elevator up to the twelfth floor and easily found apartment 1214.

"_Well…this is it." _Pam said taking out the key. She slowly opened the door and was immediately blown away. Never before had she seen such a nice apartment. There were shiny wood floors and huge windows overlooking the Hudson river.

"_Hello?" _she heard a voice call out.

Pam turned to see a girl around her age coming down the hall. She had long dark hair and big brown eyes. Pam immediately felt self conscious. This was her roommate? This girl was gorgeous.

"_Oh my gosh!"_ she exclaimed sticking out her hand. _"You must be Pam! I'm Natalee…Natalee Shepard."_

"_Hi Natalee!" _ Pam said shaking her hand. She was surprised by Natalee's immediate warmth and kindness.

"_It's so nice that your finally here! I was wondering when I was going to get to meet you!"_

"_It's nice to meet you. This is my sister Kate." _Pam said setting a bag down on the floor.

"_Hi! Come in! Come in! I will show you your room! I hope you don't mind…I already picked a room…but we can switch if there is a problem."_

"_Oh no…anything is fine." _Pam said. Natalee opened a door that was next to the kitchen and Pam stepped inside. It was a little on the smaller side, but Pam thought it was absolutely perfect.

"_What do you think?" _Natalee asked.

"_It's great! I love it!" _Pam smiled.

"_I'm glad…well hey I hate to run, but I was just on my way out. I didn't know when you'd be here so I told some friends I'd meet them for dinner. Do you want to come?"_

"_Oh thanks…but I better get unpacked. Big day tomorrow!"_

"_I know! I think we're going to have a great time! Well…I will see you a little later then?" _Natalee asked.

"_Yeah….sounds good!"_

Pam waved as Natalee hurried out. After seeing her new place and meeting Natalee, Pam began to feel like maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all and she was about to discover a whole new world.

Shortly after Natalee left Pam's parents arrived with the U-haul. After many trips up and down the elevator everything was finally unloaded.

"_Well honey…we hate to leave so fast, but we have to get the truck back." _Diane said. _"Call us and let us know how your first day went."_

"_I will…thanks so much…for everything." _Pam said wrapping her mom in a hug.

"_Bye sweetheart." _said Ben as he gave Pam a hug. _ "Be careful."_

"_I will Dad." _Pam smiled.

"_So…" _Kate said turning to Pam. _"If you want I can stay…help you unpack. I hate that your alone on your first night here!"_

"_It's okay. It's good actually. I just need to do this…on my own…you know?"_

"_Yeah…I know." _Kate hugged Pam tightly. _"Call me…anytime."_

"_Thanks Kate. Love you!"_

"_Love you too!" _and with that her family was gone and Pam was left alone facing the prospect of a new day.


	5. Chapter 5

-1Pam woke up to the blaring sound of her alarm. She groaned and rolled over to glance at the clock. She had stayed up until nearly 2 unpacking and organizing her room. It was 7:00. When Natalee had come home the night before she suggested that they might want to share a cab to their orientation at the Dunder Mifflin corporate offices. That gave Pam a little over an hour to get ready. She crawled out of bed and quietly opened the door to her room. She was surprised to see that Natalee was already up and cooking something on the stove.

"Hey!" Natalee said when she saw Pam. "I thought I'd make us a "first day of internship" breakfast.

"It smells great!" Pam said walking over to the window to take in the view. "Wow! This is so beautiful!"

"I know! Isn't' it? I couldn't believe it when I moved in."

Pam was surprised at how easy it was for her to talk to Natalee. She usually was very reserved around people she didn't know.

"Well I am going to run and jump in the shower." Pam said grabbing a towel from the rack on the back of her door.

She climbed into the shower and let the hot water pour over her tired body. While washing away the loneliness from the night before, Pam's thoughts automatically went to Jim. She started to wonder about what he was doing in Scranton, even though she chided herself for thinking about a man, who based on his recent behavior, obviously didn't care about her anymore. He had to have found out that she wasn't coming back by now. She was almost sure that Michael had made a full blown announcement to the office about it. He's probably relieved, she thought. Now he can focus all of his attention on Karen without her staring over his shoulder. Pam sighed and tried desperately to think of something else other than Jim. Today was a big day…an exciting day. She needed to focus on that and not on what she had left behind.

After her shower Pam returned to her room to get dressed. She opened her closet to survey her choices. Hmmm…what to choose? Sweater and skirt….or sweater and skirt, she thought. "I'm going to have to get some new clothes." she said decidedly as she pulled out a gray skirt and a blue and white stripped button up shirt. She slipped on her shoes and pulled on her navy blue cardigan. She carefully clipped half of her hair back in a barrette and then looked at herself in the mirror. I guess this is as good as it's going to get, she thought as she grabbed her coat and scarf and walked out of her room.

"Breakfast is on the table!" she heard Natalee shout out from down the hall.

"Thanks!" Pam called back, sitting down at the beautiful, polished table. She ate quickly…mostly because she was anxious about getting to the orientation on time. "Okay! I'm ready." Natalee said as she entered the kitchen. She was dressed in a gorgeous short sleeve, scoop neck black sweater over a white blouse. She had on gray trousers and black high heels. Pam immediately was embarrassed by her simple skirt and cardigan ensemble.

"You look nice!" Natalee said sincerely. "Blue is a great color on you!"

"Oh…thanks." Pam said shyly. "I really like your sweater."

"Thanks!" Natalee said. She grabbed her purse and coat and asked, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yup!" Pam carefully placed her dishes in the sink and slipped on her coat.

"Are you nervous?" Natalee asked as she locked the door behind them.

"A little bit…are you?"

"Absolutely! But I'm sure we'll be fine!" They got into the elevator and rode down to the lobby. Once outside Natalee hailed a cab and they were on their way. Pam was impressed with the confidence that Natalee had and she hoped that over the next six months some of it would rub off on her.

Pam took a deep breath as she followed Natalee into the lobby of the Dunder Mifflin corporate office. She was starting to feel really excited. She was actually looking forward to what today would hold.

"Third floor," she said to Natalee as they walked towards the elevator.

"We're here for the internship orientation." Natalee said to a somber looking receptionist that sat behind the desk.

"Conference room A." she said. "Down the hall…first door on the right."

"Thanks!" Pam said with a warm smile.

When they walked into the conference room there was already four or five other people sitting around the long table.

"Hi!" Natalee said as she sat down in a chair and gestured for Pam to sit next to her. The other interns smiled and nodded. They all looked as nervous as Pam felt. There were some informational packets on the table in front of them so Pam picked hers up and started thumbing through it. After five minutes of reading through the packet Pam realized she didn't understand a thing of what she just read. Her heart began to beat loudly in her chest. "What the heck am I doing here?" she thought. She looked around the table at the other interns. They all looked the part of the New York city intern. They were all dressed sophisticatedly. They were reading through all the information with serious looks on their faces. She felt like they were all silently judging her. Who was she? Some no name receptionist from Scranton. She didn't even finish college and here she was in New York with these successful people who had goals and ambitions. For the past few years her biggest ambition had been to get Roy to sit down to dinner with her before he was too drunk to carry on a conversation. The room suddenly felt too warm and Pam knew she had to get some air.

"I'll be right back." she whispered to Natalee.

She quickly stood up and hurried out of the conference room. Once out of sight of the other interns she leaned against the wall and tried desperately to calm herself. While she was on the brink of hyperventilating she heard a voice call out her name. She whirled around to see Jan hurrying towards her with her arms full of papers.

"_It's good to see you!"_ Jan said as she approached.

"_Hi…" _Pam muttered weakly.

Jan must have noticed the pale color of Pam's face because she quickly stopped and asked, _"Are you okay? You look…kind of pale."_

"_Oh…" _Pam said suddenly embarrassed. Here she was with this great opportunity and she was standing out in the hall about to cry. _"No…I'm…fine. Just a little nervous…that's all. Kind of out of my element here."_

"_Don't worry Pam." _Jan said sounding surprisingly empathetic. _"I am sure that everyone is just as nervous as you. Come on….you'll do great."_

Jan was right. She could do this. She had to do this. For herself. Pam took a deep breath and then followed Jan back to the conference room.

"_I'd just like to welcome everybody to the Dunder Mifflin Graphic Arts Internship orientation." _Jan said loudly. _"I am really excited about this program and I think that you will out get a great experience out of it." _

Pam relaxed more and more as Jan explained the outline of the internship. They would get to take art classes three days a week and on the other two days they would be split into groups and get to shadow a graphic design team at a major company in the city. Pam was getting excited. She had no idea about all the different art classes they would get to take. There was sketching classes and computer animation classes. This was opening up a whole new world of opportunity for her.

After Jan explained the classes she announced the different teams and where they would be shadowing a design team. Pam listened as Jan called off the names of the other interns. They were assigned to all sorts of big name ad companies and music labels. Finally she heard Jan say, _"And last, but not least. Pam Beelsy, Natalee Shepard and Aaron Duncan…you will be working at The Metropolitan Museum of Art with their art directors Marcie Watson and Thomas Karp."_

Pam was stunned. She'd never even been to the Met before and now she was going to get to work there. It took almost all of her self control to not jump out of her chair. She was really going to do this and she felt great.

Jim walked into the office and sat down quietly at his desk. He was a few minutes early and was grateful for the silence. He had not slept well at all the night before and his head was throbbing. He felt his stomach growl, but had no desire to eat. He had gone to dinner with Karen the night before and had spent the whole time picking absently at his plate. He knew Karen could tell that something was up. Luckily though she had been wise enough not to ask. He tried to focus on her. Tried to listen to the story she was telling him about her friend in New York that had run into some celebrity on the subway. But he kept going back to thinking what Pam was doing, if she was meeting a celebrity or sitting at home thinking of him. But he quickly pushed that thought aside _She left Scranton to get away from you, Halpert. She's not going to be thinking about you anymore._

He was staring blankly at his desk when he heard Dwight's voice behind him.

"_What did you do?" _Dwight asked letting his briefcase drop loudly to the floor.

"_What?" _Jim asked not bothering to look up.

"_You did something….to my desk. I can tell. You have that look." _Dwight said

"_Dwight…" _Jim began.

"_Damn it Jim, I do not have time for this! Some of us value our jobs and we actually sell paper instead of wasting our time plotting childish pranks so if you could please tell me what you've done so I can rectify it and go on with my day, I would appreciate it."_

"_No pranks today Dwight." _he said coolly as he pushed his chair back from his desk.

"_Guess Pam was the brains behind them all along." _Dwight said sitting down carefully in his chair.

Jim just shrugged. _"Guess so." _he said and turned and walked towards the break room.

He was pouring himself a cup of coffee when he saw Karen come into the office. She sat down at her desk and looked around for him. Finally she caught his eye as he was coming out of the break room.

"_Hey!" _she said. _"Feeling better?"_

"_Better?" _ he asked.

"_Yeah…you seemed…out of it last night."_

"_Oh…yeah. Sorry about that. I'm fine." _He tried to give her a reassuring smile as he walked back to his desk and sat down. He tried to suppress the feeling of anger and grief that immediately filled his gut when Ryan walked in and sat down behind the reception desk.

He spent the rest of the morning working in silence. He only got up from his desk once to use the restroom. He didn't even look up from his computer when Dwight slammed his hand on the desk during his online game of Dungeons and Dragons and yelled at this computer, _"Try and take my magic staff again why don't you."_

He tried to ignore the fact that Karen's eyes were blazing a hole into the side of his face…just willing him to look at her. He knew she didn't deserve to be treated like this. It wasn't her fault that Pam was gone. It was his.

"_Can I have everyone's attention please?" _Michael called coming out of his office. He has sulked in a little after nine and had spent the whole morning at his desk. Occasionally a loud sigh could be heard, but he was uncharacteristically quiet.

"_I feel as if the morale in this office is at an all time low since the fast departure of our former receptionist._" Michael said. _"There is a weird vibe in here today and it is my job as the boss to fix that."_

"_We have work to do."_ Stanley mumbled.

"_Come on Stanley. What? You don't care that Pam has up and dumped all of us. I mean it sucks. Think how I feel…think how Jim feels. They were all Ross and Rachel."_

Jim could instantly feel Karen's eyes on him again.

"_Michael…Pam just took an internship. She'll be back."_ Phyllis said.

"_Oh really Phyllis? And how do you know that? I mean come on. We've all been hit hard by this."_

_No one moved and Michael finally rolled his eyes. "All right. Everyone into the conference room….NOW!!"_

Jim knew that no one was going to get anything done until Michael got this out of his system. He finally stood up and walked into the conference room. He was soon joined by the rest of his colleagues. He smiled kindly up at Karen when she sat next to him, but he couldn't ignore the questions in her eyes.

The rest of the day was a blur to Pam. They went to classes and ate lunch in the little courtyard outside the building. The other interns were all very nice and Pam felt energized to work with them. Before she knew it the first day was over and she was following Natalee to a cab that was waiting outside. She sighed as the cab pulled away from the curb.

"_I can't believe we get to work at The Met." _she said to Natalee.

"_I know! I've never even had the chance to go. Have you?"_

"_No! I can't wait to see it." _Pam was surprised that someone as sophisticated as Natalee had never been such a famous museum.

beepbeep

Natalee flipped open her phone to read her text message. _"A couple friends are meeting for dinner tonight." _ she said to Pam. _"You should totally come with us."_

"_Oh…thanks…but…" _ Pam hesitated.

"_No buts…." _Natalee laughed. _"Your coming with us."_

"_I would love too, but I don't have anything to wear. The entire contents of my closet consists of basically 2 things…skirts and cardigans."_

"_That's not a problem. You can borrow something of mine. Then this weekend…we'll go shopping! Your in New York now!"_

"_That is really nice of you…but I can't borrow…" _Pam trailed off because the truth was she really wanted to go out with Natalee and her friends.

"_I don't want to hear another word. When we get back to the apartment we will get ready and we are going out to celebrate!" _

The minute the walked into the apartment Natalee dragged Pam back to her bedroom and threw open her closet.

"_Pick something…" _she said gesturing inside to the massive amounts of clothes that were hanging neatly.

Pam was stunned_. "I wouldn't even know where to start." _she said laughing.

"_I know! There's a ton. Well let's see…." _Natalee began rifling through the closet. "_Do you have any black pants?"_

"_Yes…I do actually have some of those._" Pam said carefully fingering the piles of shirts that Natalee was throwing on the bed.

"_Here we go_!" Natalee exclaimed. _"This will be perfect!" _She handed Pam a beautiful light blue shirt. It had an empire waist and silk sleeves. _"Wear this with your black pants and…." Natalee rummaged through her closet again, "…these shoes." _ She said handing Pam a pair of simple black wedge ballet flats.

"_This is beautiful! I can't borrow this!"_ Pam said trying to hand the shirt back to Natalee.

"_Whatever! Your wearing it! You look great in blue! Now go get changed and then we can work on some hair and makeup!"_

Pam felt as excited as she would have if she had been dressing for a royal ball. After discarding her gray skirt and cardigan in the hamper she carefully slipped on the top. It fit perfectly. She pulled on her black pants and the shoes.

"_Come out here!" _she heard Natalee call. _"I want to see it!!"_

Pam hesitantly opened the door and walked out.

"_Wow! That shirt is perfect on you! You look great!"_ Natalee said happily.

"_Really?" _Pam said.

"_Yes! Don't look in the mirror yet though. Let's complete the look!"_

Pam followed Natalee into the bathroom. She sat still while Natalee took the barrette out of her hair and then rubbed some sort of mousse into her curls. Then Natalee added some eyeliner and mascara and then stood back to look at Pam.

"_Now you can look!" _she said.

Pam slowly stood up and walked towards the full length mirror that hung on the back of the door. She could hardly believe her eyes when she caught her reflection. She didn't even recognize herself. The shirt did look great on her. Her curls were hanging softly around her face and the eye makeup had really made her green eyes stand out. The shirt did look great.

"_Wow!" _Pam said softly.

"_I told you!"_ Natalee said. _"Now just give me ten minutes to change and we can go!"_

Pam sat down on the couch and flipped open her cell phone. She had one new text message from Kate asking how the orientation went. She quickly texted her back with: It was awesome. I am going out to dinner with my roommate and her friends. You wouldn't even recognize me!'

She hit send and then stared at her phone. Slowly she pressed a few buttons to send a new message.

_To: Jim_

_Hey. Just wanted to let you know that I am in New York_.

No…that was stupid. He probably already knew that. She erased it and tried again.

_To: Jim_

_I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye._

She sat there looking at the words. She didn't know what else to say. She went to push send, but her thumb hesitated over the button. Maybe he didn't care. Maybe it was just better this way.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Natalee coming back into the living room.

"_You ready?" _she asked as she pulled on her coat.

Pam glanced again at the words on her phone. Then she slowly pulled her thumb away from the send button and flipped the phone shut.

"_Yup! I am ready!"_

After not achieving much after Michael's "Dunder Mifflin family counseling session" where he was trying to force everyone to sign contracts saying they wouldn't divorce the family, Jim didn't get much done, job wise. He kept looking up at the reception desk and after a while, Jim believed that Ryan thought he had a new admirer in the office. After surfing the internet and map questing the miles between Scranton and New York, 5 o'clock rolled around and as Jim was putting all his files into his messenger bag, Karen approached him and asked him what they were going to do tonight. He hated that she just assumed they would be together every night. He honestly didn't feel like being with anyone tonight and he knew he had to come up with something fast.

"_What if we just grab some take out and watch a movie or something?" _ Karen asked as they got out of the elevator and walked across the lobby.

"_I would love to but I've already promised Mark that I would go to his weekly poker game. How about tomorrow?"_

Karen let out a long sigh. _"Jim...is there something going on that your not telling me. You've been like...somewhere else these past couple days."_

"_Its just Michael's been so...Michael lately and I've been really stressed. I'm sorry."_

Jim knew immediately that Karen didn't believe him. _"Are you sure that's it? It just seems like there's a lot more too it than that. I mean you've been with Michael for years. You should be numb to his weirdness by now."_

Jim was getting frustrated. _"Why are you making a big deal out of this?"_

"_Because you've been acting all mopey and weird since we came back from Christmas and I don't get what your deal is."_

_"I'm sorry Karen…but I really don't feel like going anywhere tonight."_

"_"Then why are you going to your friend's poker game?" _Jim knew he was caught. She took her keys out of her purse and moved towards her car. _"I get it…you'll hang out with your friends, but you'll blow me off."_

_"No that's not what I meant." _Jim sighed. _"Listen, can we please just go out tomorrow night, okay?"_

"_Whatever Jim. This isn't what I thought would be happening when I moved all the way out here." _She didn't say another word. Just climbed into her car and drove off.

Jim ran his fingers through his hair. He knew he was being a jerk. He knew that she didn't need to be treated like this. He pulled out his cell phone. He opened the contacts screen and began scrolling down to find her number. "Crap…" he thought when he noticed that he had scrolled down to far. He was about to go back up when a name caught his eye. _Pam._ It was like something was drawing him past Karen's name and towards the one name he was trying so hard to forget. He clicked on her name and opened a new text message.

_To: Pam_

_Why didn't you say goodbye?_

He stood there in the dark parking lot of Dunder Mifflin for a good five minutes just staring at his phone. His thumb brushed over the send button about 50 times while he wrestled with the idea of actually sending it to her. She was finally doing something for herself and she didn't need him to bring her back down.

He slowly canceled the message and closed his phone. Maybe it was just better this way.


	6. Chapter 6

-1

**Chapter 5**

Pam woke up early the next morning. It was Thursday…their first day to shadow the art directors at The Met. She quickly showered and dressed. She had made a resolve to go shopping this weekend for something other than plain skirts and cardigans. For the first time in a long time she had actually felt pretty when she had gone out to dinner with Natalee and her friends. She had had a great time. Natalee's friends were great. They had immediately welcomed Pam. Pam never had that many girlfriends, so it felt nice to be a part of a group and for once she wasn't expected to replenish beer and nachos for Roy and his friends

She went into the bathroom to do her hair. As she stared at herself in the mirror she remembered the confidence she had felt the night before. She opened the medicine cabinet and found the mousse that Natalee had used in her hair the night before. She was fairly certain that Natalee wouldn't mind her borrowing some, besides she could always buy her more. She worked the foam into her curls and then smiled at the finished product. She looked so different without it pulled back. Mature and self-assured.

Going back into the kitchen she decided that she wanted some tea. She opened all the cabinets to see if there was a teapot. She had one of course…packed carefully in a box under her bed. Not finding one in the kitchen she walked into the bedroom and pulled the box out. She gingerly opened the box and pulled out the teapot. She softly traced her finger over the shiny green lid…remembering. "No!" Pam thought forcefully. "I just want some tea!" She took the pot into the kitchen and filled it with water. She made herself a cup of tea and walked out onto the balcony. The view of the city from this high up was amazing. The Hudson River gleamed brightly in the sun and everything looked so peaceful. She was so immersed in the view that she didn't hear Natalee come outside.

"_Hey!" _she said. _"Nice view huh?"_

"_Yeah it is. I love it!"_

"_Your hair looks great!" _Natalee said.

"_Oh thanks. I hope you don't mind, but I borrowed some more of your mousse. I'll get you some more." _

"_Oh don't worry about it."_ Natalee leaned her elbows up on the railing of the balcony. "_Did you have fun last night?"_

"_Yeah…I really did. Your friends are great!"_

"_I'm glad you had a good time! Maybe we can all go out again this weekend!"_

"_That'd be great." _Pam took another sip of tea.

"_Oh crap…" _Natalee said looking at her watch. _"I better get ready! We have to leave in like 20 minutes!"_

After a few minutes Pam walked back inside and washed out her teacup. Then she carefully rinsed out the teapot and set it back on the stove.

"_Ready?" _Natalee asked hurrying back into the living room. They took the elevator downstairs, waved to Frank and went outside to hail a cab.

Pam's breath caught in her throat as they pulled up in front of The Met. It was beautiful. If this was the outside she couldn't even imagine what she going to get to see inside.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim walked into the office shortly before 9. He had ended up not calling Karen the night before. Instead he had gone home and fallen asleep in front of the TV. He didn't even know what he had watched. His mind was a thousand miles away…actually 123 miles to be exact. The distance from Scranton to New York City. He'd sadly map quested it after his fourth beer in hopes of feeling closer to Pam.

He set his bag down on his desk and walked into the kitchen to put his lunch into the fridge. Last night as he was laying on the couch he had made a decision that he was going to put Pam out of his mind. She was living her life and he needed to live his. He left his house feeling semi-optimistic about the day ahead of him. He was going to try to make things right with Karen. He wasn't going to let Ryan catch him as he stared vacantly at the reception area. He had been doing really well. Hadn't thought about her for a good hour, up until he opened the fridge in the kitchen. He had gone in to put his lunch in the fridge and as he leaned over to put his bag on the shelf, there it was. A mixed berry yogurt. "Here we go again…" he thought sarcastically. He slammed the fridge shut and sulked back to his desk. Things went smoothly after that….for the most part. Karen came in and refused to make eye contact. He thought about sending her an e-mail, but decided against it. He actually found himself being productive when Michael walked out of his office and asked for everyone's attention.

"_Ok everyone! Due to the unfortunate "abandonment" problem that we have recently found ourselves in the middle I wanted to let you all know that I have asked a communication expert to come in and speak to us about good office communication skills."_

"_What abandonment problem Michael?" _Stanley asked.

"_What abandonme…are you SERIOUS Stanley? Has everyone forgotten that not more than two days ago we had a certain receptionist up and leave us. I thought that we meant more to her. We were her family and obviously she has forgotten all about us and…"_

"_Actually Michael…" _Phyllis interrupted. _"Pam emailed me this morning to tell me about her internship and she told me to tell everyone hello."_

"_Well fine…" _Michael said storming back into his office. _"I guess some people were just more important to her."_

Jim couldn't help but stare at Phyllis. She had heard from Pam? Without even thinking he quickly opened up an IM to Phyllis and typed:

You heard from Pam? How is she?

A couple seconds later a box popped up signaling that he had a new e-mail. He quickly opened his inbox to find an e-mail from Phyllis with the subject line reading: Fwd. From Pam. He turned to look at Phyllis and saw that she was smiling at him. "Thanks" he mouthed before turning back to his computer and opening the e-mail.

_Phyllis,_

_Hi! How are you doing? I bet you all are wondering why I just up and left without any warning. I can't really explain it. I just had to…do something else. I hope things are going well. I am really enjoying my internship so far. I get to work directly under the art directors at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I live with another girl in this great apartment and things are going really well. I do miss certain things about Scranton though. Surprising I know! Well, tell everyone I said hello. Hope to hear from you soon._

_Pam _

_P.S. Dunder Mifflin's website will have my picture on the graphic arts page! I'm so excited!_

Jim read the e-mail over and over again. Even though the e-mail wasn't addressed to him it was almost like…for a moment…they were connected. He finally closed the e-mail and opened his browser to the Dunder Mifflin corporate website. After searching for a couple of minutes he found the link that read Graphic Arts. Down towards the bottom of the page there was another link that read Internships. Looking around to make sure that no one, i.e.: Karen, was looking his direction he clicked on the link. There was a brief explanation of the internship and a list of the different companies that were sponsoring the interns. He scrolled down farther and there she was…Pam Beesly, her name in bold, black letters under the picture. His breath caught in his chest. It had only been a week since he'd seen her, it felt like he hadn't seen in her years. She looked beautiful. Her hair was down and her smile was bright…and she looked happy. Underneath her name it read 'click here to learn more'. He quickly clicked on the link to find a short questionnaire.

_**What do you hope to accomplish by the end of this internship?:**_

**Getting the chance to learn more about art has always been a dream of mine. A dream that I didn't think would come true for a long time. I just want to be able to increase my knowledge and appreciation of art. Then I want to take those skills and make something that means something to someone. **

_**Where do you see yourself in 10 years?:**_

**I guess the most that I can hope for is that I will be happy. Whether that means marriage and a family or a great career…or both. I just hope to be happy. **

_**Who inspires you?:**_

**I've been really lucky to have a great family and friends who have inspired me to take a chance on something.**

Jim felt a lump form in his throat when he read the last question. Maybe she really did miss him…or at least their friendship had meant something. He looked back up at her picture and a tear formed in his eyes. He quickly blinked it away and closed the page.

He sat staring blankly at the computer screen until Dwight's voice broke through the silence.

_"Jim, why are you not selling paper? Do you want Dunder Mifflin to shut down?"_

Jim turned in his chair to look at Dwight who was glaring at him sternly. _"Yes Dwight. That has been my plan all along."_

"_Well, you are picking a terrible time to succeed at something, Jim. I will report your malfeasance to Michael."_

Jim was not in the mood for Dwight's ranting. _"Dwight...for once...can you please just…"_

"_You are such a girl. Are you PMSing?"_

"_As a matter of fact…"_ Jim began.

"_Uh, Jim, that was a rhetorical question and therefore inappropriate to answer. Thank You." _Dwight said turning back to his computer.

"_Hey Dwight…have you used your calculator lately?" _Jim asked suddenly feeling that a good prank on Dwight would help his day.

_"You cannot fool me again Jim. We Schrutes can use our brains to do complex math problems and we do not need calculators. If you put my calculator in gelatin, then you are wasting your time..…" _Dwight stopped. _"Where did you put it?"_

"_Maybe I moved it...or maybe I didn't."_

"_Damn it, Jim!" _Dwight yelled slamming his palms on his desk.

"_Actually…you know what? I think I saw Andy near your desk earlier." _Jim said in a whisper.

"_Andy!!" _Dwight screamed as he ran off towards Andy's desk. Jim smiled and turned back to his computer.

The rest of the day passed by as normal. He ate his sandwich at his desk while he closed two sales. He organized his desk drawers and filed some papers. He was trying everything he could think of to keep himself busy so that he wouldn't open a certain website again. Around 4:30 he ran out of things to do and before he knew it he was once again looking at the picture of Pam. He needed to talk to her. He needed to have some sort of communication with her. This couldn't be it. Four years of talking and laughter and friendship could not be thrown away just like that. He quickly opened a new e-mail and typed Pam's address into the top, but then he stopped. He didn't even know what he'd say. There was so much that he wanted to tell her. So much he wanted to ask, but he knew he couldn't do it in an e-mail. He cleared his throat and began to type.

_Pam,_

_Hey. I heard about your internship and I wanted to say congratulations. I am so proud of you for doing this and accomplishing something with your art._

Jim stopped. He couldn't just leave it like that. Before he knew what he was doing he was typing again. Writing not what was in his head, but his heart.

_I know this probably isn't the best way to do this…but I just have to say it. I know things were weird since I came back to Scranton and I wish I could explain it to you in a way that would make sense. I just felt like I needed to start over, but I didn't want that to mean that we couldn't still be friends. I don't know exactly what the reason was behind you leaving. I mean one day you're here and then you're gone. No goodbye…nothing. I wish I could understand it. I know that had to be something important to you for you to leave like that, but I mean you didn't even say goodbye. I wish at least that would have been different. I hope that this is all that you wanted._

_Jim _

He didn't even read it over. He didn't want time to dwell on it…to hesitate in sending it. He just clicked the send button and immediately got up to go get a soda so that he wouldn't sit at his desk and rethink his actions. He sat in the break room reading the paper until just after 5:00. He waited until he saw Karen pick up her purse and walk out before he made his way back into the office. He sat down in his chair and with shaking hands moved the mouse to click on his e-mail. He was almost positive that he had stopped breathing while he waited for the page to load. It seemed like hours instead of seconds when his inbox finally opened to reveal…nothing. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but the realization that she hadn't e-mailed him back came as a harder blow than he thought it would have. He slumped in his chair trying to convince himself that it had only been a little under an hour since he had sent it to her. She probably didn't have access to a computer 24/7, but still he had hoped….wished that there would have been something from her. He sighed as he shut down his computer and walked out of the office.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam collapsed on the couch as soon as she walked into the apartment. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this tired. She had been on her feet for nearly 8 hours straight. She had no idea how much was involved in the art directors job. She kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs out in front of her.

"_Is it just me or was that exhausting." _Natalee said slumping onto the couch next to Pam.

"_No kidding. I had no idea it would be like that."_

"_I don't think we stayed in one place for more than 5 seconds!" _Natalee said with a laugh. _"I think I'm going to go take a bath. Then maybe we can figure out something for dinner."_

"_Ok!"_ Pam said. She groaned as she pulled herself off the couch. She picked up her shoes and headed into her room. After throwing her shoes into the closet she sank into her desk chair and turned on her computer.

Time seemed to come to a screeching halt when Pam saw the e-mail. Her hand froze over the mouse. The from address seemed to glow brightly _Jim. _on the screen.

She tentatively clicked on the e-mail. Her heart was pounding as she read the words. She sat numbly in the chair, her heart aching and mind racing. This was not what she had expected.

Picture of Pam on the Dunder Mifflin Website

[IMGhttp://i247.


	7. Chapter 7

-1Pam sat stiffly in her chair staring at the screen of her computer. She couldn't believe that he had e-mailed her. Somewhere in the deepest part of herself she had hoped that he might try to contact her, but she had never thought he would. I mean why should he. He had Karen. Karen had made her feelings known. He had moved on or at least that's what she had thought. But she was sure that there was a tone in the e-mail…a hidden meaning underneath the words that on the surface seemed so simple. He was obviously hurt by the fact that she hadn't said goodbye. Was he mad? Was this his way of closure? She had done so well for a couple of days. She hadn't had time to stop and breathe let alone think about him. The decision to come to New York had happened so quickly that she didn't even think of the repercussions it would have on those she left…especially him. But now her mind was flooded with questions. She read the e-mail about half a dozen times before finally closing it. As she read it over and over again she began to feel frustrated. He was right. She hadn't said goodbye, but neither had he. On that night when he had laid it all out on the line she hadn't been able to say yes. She had wanted too, but it wasn't easy for her to erase 10 years of her life. She had, at one point, been in love with Roy and she knew that she at least owed him the courtesy of being honest. She had wanted to say yes to Jim that night. She was going to say yes, but then he was gone. He had left without a goodbye. She had come into work the following week to an empty desk and an empty heart. Why should she give him that same courtesy that he had denied her. She needed to clear her head. She grabbed her sketch book and wandered out onto the balcony. The sky was slowly fading from orange…to deep red…to black. Pam felt as if it was almost as though the sky was a reflection of the innumerable emotions that she had running through her. She was finally doing something for herself. This whole internship wasn't for Roy, or her parents or even for Jim. This was all for her. But every time she seemed to reach a point where she actually felt that this was a good choice for her to make, something brought her back…pulling her into the dark loneliness that she had felt so deeply for the past months.

She flipped open her sketch book. When she had been with Roy the only way that she had been able to reveal her deepest emotions was through drawing. She carefully paused over the different sketches in the book. There was the picture of her standing outside a door looking in on a man and a woman hugging. She had drawn this on the night that Roy had set the date on the Booze Cruise. She had felt so guilty for not feeling happy that Roy had finally chosen a date. She knew that she should be ecstatic. She had been really good at pretending that she was, but inside she felt that she was just watching from the sidelines. Almost like watching a movie of what she should be doing, when in reality she wasn't feeling anything. Next there was small black and white sketch of a wilted flower. The night after Jim's confession she had gone home, but she couldn't go inside. She didn't want to face the life that she had destined herself for. She had spent several hours sitting outside on the front step. Next to the front steps was a small pot that she had planted some daises in. She had tried so hard to keep them alive, carefully watering them and making sure they had the right exposure to the sun. But now as she carefully picked up the pot she noticed that they were dead, wilted away. She was struck by how similar she felt, struggling to survive in an artificial world but slowly dying on the inside, becoming nothing but a shell of who she once was. She really didn't even know herself anymore. Feeling Jim's hands slip out of her grasp had been one of the worst feelings of her life. She had wanted so badly to cling to them…to not let him walk away, but she hadn't been able to hold on. She had let him go and she felt as if something inside of her had left with him.

Pam felt her eyes fill with tears, but it wasn't until she finally turned to the next sketch in the book that she let them fall. The last sketch she had done early in the morning the day after he had returned to Scranton. That day was supposed to hold so many promises and views of a new beginning, but instead she had cried herself to sleep in the dark of her bedroom. She had woke up early, her eyes red and heavy. It was all she could do to keep from falling apart. She had pulled out the sketchbook and opened to a clean page. It was then, sitting up against the wall in the corner of her bedroom that she tried to let it all out. Her pencil flew furiously across the page trying to keep up with the emotions that were spilling out of her eyes. When she had finished she lightly ran her hand across the drawing…a desk, empty and forgotten. He might have come back to Scranton, but he was no longer there as her accomplice, confidant, best friend and the man, she had realized too late, that she was in love with. That part of her life was gone.

Pam slowly closed the sketch book and hugged it to her chest while tears streamed silently down her cheeks. She loved what she was doing in New York, but she really missed him.

"_Pam?" _Natalee's voice startled Pam out of her thoughts.

"_Oh…hey." _Pam said quickly wiping her eyes.

"_What's wrong?" _Natalee said quickly walking out onto the balcony and pulling the other chair up closer to Pam.

"_Oh…it's nothing." _Pam said with a sniffle.

"_Oh please…I don't buy that for one second." _ Natalee paused. _"What's his name?"_

Pam managed a small laugh. "_How did you know?"_

Natalee stood up. _"I think it's time for some major girl bonding. You go put on your pajamas and I will order some food. Chinese okay?"_

"_Um…yeah…that's fine."_

"_Good! This will be a total girls night in!! Food, facials, pedicures, trashy magazines and old movies!! How does that sound?"_

Pam smiled as she followed Natalee inside. _"That sounds perfect!" _she said. She went in to her room and placed the sketch book on her book shelf. Her fingers lingered on it as she gave one last thought to the memories inside. Then she went and joined Natalee in the living room.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Jim pulled into Karen's apartment complex shortly before 7:00. He had decided that he couldn't sit around wondering if Pam had e-mailed him back or not, so he called Karen and asked if he could come over to talk. She reluctantly agreed. He told her he'd stop and pick up some food and be on his way, but now he sat out in front of her apartment unable to work up the energy to go inside. He rested his hands on the steering wheel and let out a big sigh. Finally he opened the car door, grabbed the box of pizza and made his way up to her front door.

"_Hey." _she said shortly when she opened the door.

"_Peace offering?" _he asked with a small smile holding out the pizza.

After a long moment Karen asked, _"Green peppers and mushrooms?"_

"_Of course." _ Jim said.

"_Well come on in then." _she said stepping aside so he could come in.

To Jim's surprise Karen didn't dive right into the deep, talk about your feelings, conversation he thought they were going to have. Instead they sat on the floor of her living room eating pizza and watching some old movie on TV. Just when he had finally begun to relax a little it happened.

"_Jim…we need to talk." _Karen said wiping her hands on a napkin and clicking off the TV.

Jim cleared his throat. He knew that this was inevitable, but he really didn't want to do this. Not now…actually not ever. He had a feeling that this talk was just a glimpse into the future of his relationship with Karen. Lots and lots of long talks. Since that night with Pam he had done a very good job of keep his feelings locked up tightly and he knew that anything he said to Karen wasn't going to be the whole truth because he wasn't willing to open up that wound yet.

"_Ok…." _Jim said meekly.

"_I think we need to start with you telling me what's been going on these past few days. Things seemed to be going really well with us and then we come back after Christmas and things are just weird. I need an explanation."_

Leave it Karen to get right to the point, Jim thought.

"_Jim?" _Karen asked impatiently. Jim began to feel annoyed. She wouldn't even let him talk.

"_Ok…" _Jim began. "_The truth is that I have been feeling a little weird since Pam left."_

"_Pam? The receptionist?" _Karen asked confused. _"Why?"_

Jim went on to explain that he and Pam used to be really good friends and that it had kind of bothered him that Pam had moved without telling anyone in the office. He could tell that Karen didn't really buy his story. She always looking for something more.

"_Hmmm…" _she said. He braced himself waiting for the unavoidable question that would follow. But it didn't come. Instead Karen just looked him square in the eyes and said, _"Look Jim. I moved here…from Connecticut….." _There was a long pause and Jim knew that was his cue to fill it.

The ache that had been inside of him since Pam left deepened as he looked at Karen and said, "I'm really glad that you're here." That seemed to be enough. Karen gave him a small smile and then wrapped her arms around his neck. As he hugged her the guilt was almost overwhelming. He wasn't this guy. He wasn't the guy that would use another person as a protection. He did like Karen. She was great. But as she cuddled up against him his mind…and his heart were somewhere else.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ok!" Natalee said. "Mud masks come off in 10 minutes."

Pam stretched her freshly painted toes out in front of her. She couldn't remember the last time she had had a "girls night". Her weekends were usually spent with Roy and his brother up at the lake. At first she didn't mind. She loved going to the lake. She liked boating and riding jet skis and she was always able to get some good drawing in when Roy finally passed out on the beach for his mid-day drunken nap. Natalee though was the epitome of a "girly girl" and she knew just what to do. She wasn't like any girl that Pam had met before. When she had been in high school she was surrounded by the fake, girly cheerleaders that would throw themselves at Roy and the other football players. Pam had never really liked those girls. But Natalee was different. She was smart, cool, sophisticated and genuine.

"_I was thinking, if you want, that tomorrow we could go shopping!"_

"_That would be great! I need an update to my wardrobe!" _Pam said taking another bite of her kung pao chicken.

"_Alright…I can't wait any longer." _Natalee said. _"It's time to spill…"_

"_Oh….it's nothing really. Not a big deal."_ Pam asked nervously.

"_Oh come on! I know we just met and everything, but a girl doesn't cry like that over a guy that "isn't a big deal"._

"_Well…we worked together. We hit it off right away. We became really good friends." Pam began. "Actually…he was my best friend. Anyways, I was engaged to someone else and then last May he told me that he was in love with me."_

"_Wow…"_ Natalee said.

"_Yeah, except I told him that I couldn't…couldn't be with him." _Tears began to fill Pam's eyes. _"I told him that…and he left. It was about 5 seconds after he left that I realized that I felt the same way…but it was too late. He moved away, transferred to another branch. Anyways, that branch got shut down and he ended up moving back to Scranton…with his girlfriend."_

"_Oh Pam. I am so sorry. That totally sucks" _Natalee said sympathetically.

"_Yeah…I wanted to tell him…you know…that I called off the wedding. But then so much time passed with no contact and I began to dread the day that he would realize that I was just I was just Pam, a lowly receptionist and wannabe artist. He would realize that he could have someone in his life that would be better for him. I was afraid he would figure out that his crush was just an infatuation and it didn't mean as much to him as it did and still does to me." _Pam was immediately embarrassed that she had said too much.

"_Well did you ever tell him about your feelings?" _Natalee asked.

"_No…I couldn't bring myself to do it."_

"_Why not?" _Natalee asked, then quickly added, _"I'm sorry….I don't mean to pry. I shouldn't have asked that."_

Pam hesitated at first, she had never talked to anybody about this before, but then she realized she had nothing to lose. _"No...it's okay. It's just...my whole life I have been this quiet, shy person that has always just played it safe. I mean when Roy...my ex-fiancé asked me out...back in high school I thought it was a joke. But then years went by and he was still there. He was all I knew and at first that was okay. Then Jim came along and he was smart and nice and funny...and he made me feel like there was more out there for me. But I couldn't turn my back on Roy...on all the time we had together."_

"_I understand."_ Natalee said. "_It must have been really hard to leave something so familiar."_

"_Yeah…and by the time I realized that's what I needed to do….it was too late."_

"_Oh Pam. I'm so sorry. Is that why you came to New York?"_

"_Well he's one of the reasons. I realized that if I wasn't happy with me it wasn't going to make a difference if Jim was there or not. He always encouraged this…the art thing, but I was always too afraid."_

"_Well it was a big step…coming here like this. I really admire that."_

"_Thanks…" _ Pam smiled. There was a long pause as they tried to focus on the movie.

"And hey…" Natalee said. "When your ready to try the whole dating thing again I am sure that Aidan has some friends that he could set you up with."

Pam was confused. _"Who's Aidan?"_

"_Oh! Sorry! Aidan is my boyfriend. He works as a PR rep for GAP." _ Natalee stopped suddenly, _"Oh my gosh Pam. Here I am talking about my boyfriend when you're…"_

"_It's okay."_ Pam cut in. _"Really! How long have you been together?"_

"_Almost four years. We got together in college. He is a close friend of my brothers."_

"_That's great!" _Pam said, taking another bite of chicken. _"So when do I get to meet him?"_

"_Well actually he is coming into town tomorrow. I'll talk him into taking us out to dinner since we are worldly, sophisticated women who work at The Met! How crazy is that?"_

"_I know! I can't believe it. Jim would be…." _ Pam stopped short.

"_Oh no!" _Natalee said. "_This is for Pam!!"_

Pam laughed, feeling happier than she had in a long time. _"Thanks Natalee. This helped a lot."_

"_That's what friends are for!" _

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim had gotten back from Karen's around 1:00 AM and had immediately collapsed into bed. He woke up to the sun glaring in his eyes. He groaned and rolled over to look at the clock…11:30. He felt like he had been hit by a truck. He pulled the pillow over his eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but it was useless. He had told himself that he wasn't going to check his e-mail until 5:00. As dumb as it sounded he thought it might be easier to put a restriction on his e-mail checking so he wouldn't drive himself crazy. Unfortunately, that didn't work. He pulled himself out of bed and into his desk chair. While he waited for his computer to boot up he ran his hand through his unruly hair. What was he going to do if she hadn't e-mailed him back. Maybe her leaving was her way of saying goodbye…forever. He held his breath as he opened his e-mail. No new messages. He had tried to prepare himself for this, but he still felt like he had been punched in the gut. He yanked open his bedroom door and stomped downstairs. He poured himself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the kitchen table. No sooner had he put a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth than he heard a knock at the door. "Ugh…." Jim thought slowly standing up. He kicked himself for wishing that it wasn't Karen. He opened the door to find his older brother Jonathan smiling back at him.

"_Dude…you look like crap." _Jonathan said pushing past Jim into the house.

"_Thank you…and come on in." _Jim shut the door.

"_Don't tell me you just got up." _Jonathan said falling on the couch.

"_Didn't realize you were my mother." _Jim said.

"_Geez….since when did you become such an ass?" _Jonathan said throwing a pillow at him.

"_Sorry man. I'm just in a bad mood." Jim sank into the recliner that was next to the couch. _

"_Yeah I can tell. What the hell happened?"_

"_Nothing…I….I don't know."_ Jim said stretching his legs out it front of him.

"_Well...do you want to talk about it?" _Jonathan asked.

"_Pam moved…." _Jim mumbled slumping farther in his chair.

"_Pam? The Pam? Why?"_

"_I don't know. One day she was here...then she was gone." _

_"What did you do to her?" Jon asked flipping through the channels on the TV. _

"_I don't know! I mean...things have been really weird since I came back."_

"_Cause you're screwing around with that Karrie chick."_

"_Karen…" Jim muttered._

"_Whatever…"_

'_But I mean what the hell did Pam except. She told me no…twice. So I left. It's been 6 months and we talked like twice that whole time." _

"Have you been treating her the way you treated me when I came in today? I'd leave your ass if you were like this all the time."

Jim thought about that for awhile before answering. _"I guess I have...but I'm seeing someone else."_

"_You may be seeing...what's her name…."_ Jon started

"_Karen…"_

"…_.but you're not with her...you weren't with Katy either."_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean?"_ Jim asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"_Dude...as long as Pam is in the picture, you're never going to be 100 with anybody else."_

"_That's not true…" _Jim said, but he knew it was a weak argument…because it was true.

"_Maybe this is a good thing, Pam leaving."_

"_Then why the hell does it hurt so much?"_

"_Because you're in love with her."_

There was silence between the two for a few minutes before Jim said, "_I e-mailed her."_

"_You what?"_

"_I e-mailed her…yesterday…asking why she didn't say goodbye. But I haven't heard back."_

'_Well if I remember correctly little brother you didn't exactly say goodbye to her when you moved to Connecticut."_

Jim was silent.

"_Exactly….so then why would you expect a goodbye from her. Like you said…you haven't exactly been the best friend you could have been recently."_

"_I know…but….man I am a jackass aren't I."_

"_Yep. That Halpert charm won't work for this one."_

_Jim felt the familiar pang of sadness return to his gut. "I miss her man. I really miss her."_

"_Well maybe she'll email you back and you can run into each others' arms and make-out and everything will be great." _Jonathan stood up. _"Can I have a beer?"_

"_Wow...you aren't too good at the segway are you?"_ Jim said with a laugh.

"_It's that or I'll start charging for my advice."_

As Jonathan walked into the kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge Jim asked, _"What if she never comes back?"_

"_Do you really love her?" _Jonathan asked handing Jim a beer.

"_Yes I do...but how can you love someone that will never love you back"_

"_How do you know she doesn't love you back?"_

"_She left...she's gone…"_

"_Well maybe you broke her heart when you came back with Karen."_

Jim hadn't actually thought of that point. _"Well how the hell do you think I felt for 4 years watching her with that jackass of a fiancé? He never deserved her."_

"_You probably felt how she feels now."_

Jim was silent. He couldn't even think of anything to say. The fact that Pam might have felt even half of the anguish he had felt for the past 4 years made him hurt even more.

"_Ok…enough of this Pam talk. I'm starving. Let's go eat."_

Jim sighed. "_I don't know…."_

"_Come on. We're going to Coopers. Get dressed."_

"_Fine…" _Jim said standing up. _"But I might be an ass the whole time."_

"_Just as long as you don't cry on my shoulder and make me listen to that emo band shit."_

"_Wow…you are officially the worst pep talker ever."_

"_Yup…I am a regular Matt Foley…living in a van down by the river."_ Jonathan yelled as Jim made his way up the stairs to his room.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_You ready?" _Natalee asked knocking on Pam's door.

Pam finished tying her shoe and then glanced at herself in the mirror. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and the green sweater she had on made her eyes stand out.

"_Yup!" _Pam said opening the door. _"Let's go."_

They made their way down to the lobby and Natalee hailed a cab. _"Let's go to Bloomingdales first, then Macy's, and then Banana Republic."_ Natalee suggested.

"_Fine with me…you lead the way." _Pam said. This was her first weekend in New York and she was excited to see this view of the city.

Pam wasn't usually a shopper. When she did buy new clothes she knew exactly what she was looking for and it took her no time at all. Roy always bragged about how he had found the only girl in the world that didn't drag her boyfriend out shopping. Pam had decided that this was going to be different. She was going to treat herself to a new wardrobe and she was going to have fun doing it.

When they finally collapsed into a cab several hours later Pam couldn't believe all the clothes she had bought. She had several new tops, a few pairs of pants, some skirts and a couple of dresses and even some new shoes. She was exhausted. She had never shopped this much in her life.

"_Want to stop and get some lunch?" _Natalee asked.

"_Sure! I'm starving. Who would have thought that shopping could be such a workout!" _Pam laughed.

"_Tell me about it!" _Natalee said as her cell phone began to ring.

Pam gazed out the window at the city passing by, while Natalee talked on the phone. She could see the Statue of Liberty in the distance and made a mental note that one weekend she was going to have to go see it up close.

Pam and Natalee had lunch at a small café around the corner from their apartment.

"_So is 8:00 okay for dinner?" _Natalee asked taking a sip of her water.

"_Oh…yeah…that's fine. But are you sure you don't want some time with Aidan?" _Pam asked. She was excited about meeting Natalee's boyfriend, but she didn't want to be the third wheel.

"_Don't worry about that!! He's excited about meeting you. Plus my brother, his girlfriend and her sister are coming too. Aidan is going to take us all to this great bistro called Capsouto Freres. I've never been there, but Aidan loves it. I want you to meet everyone!"_

"_Well then I'll go!" _Pam smiled.

Once they had finally lugged all of their shopping bags up to their apartment Natalee went to take a nap and Pam sat down at her computer. Even though she had a great time shopping and seeing a little bit of the city, Jim's e-mail had always been in the back of her mind. She had debating about even writing him back or not, but then she decided that she had to at least acknowledge him taking a step. She opened an new e-mail, but then just sat there blankly staring at the screen. She didn't even know what to say. She knew that if she wasn't careful she'd end up confessing all of her feelings and she wasn't ready to do that, especially not over e-mail.

_Dear Jim,_

Why was this so hard. After all they had been best friends. She should be able to send him a friendly e-mail.

_Thank you for your e-mail. New York is great. It's amazing actually. There is just so much life here. The internship is going okay so far. Far busier than I thought it would be. My roommate and I are paired up with another intern and we get to shadow the art directors for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Yesterday was my first day there. It was amazing. I don't think I sat down once all day, but it was a great experience. I think I will learn a lot._

Pam stopped typing. Jim had acknowledged the rift that had begun to form between them and she was torn how much to write about it for fear that she would get going and wouldn't be able to stop.

_I am sorry that I didn't say goodbye Jim. I know how that must have felt for you to come into work and hear that I had left. I just had to Jim. I had to go. I'm sorry if I hurt you. That wasn't ever my intention._

_I hope that you are doing well. I want for you to be good._

_Pam_

She quickly checked it over for spelling errors and then hit send without giving herself too much time to think it over.

Around six Pam decided to get dressed for dinner. She quickly showered and put some mousse in her hair. Then she went into her room and began rifling through her new clothes. She had bought a red turtleneck dress with long sleeves and a wide black belt. She had also bought some black leggings and some great black boots. It was a far cry from the skirts and cardigans. She put the outfit on and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't believe that she was the same person. She quickly diffused her hair and put on some makeup. Then she slipped on the boots. They came up almost to her knee and she knew that her feet would be killing her by the end of the night, but she really wanted to look great.

She went out and waited on the couch for Natalee.

"_Wow! That dress is great!" _Natalee said coming out of her bedroom.

'_Thanks! I think you made a good choice!" _Pam said grabbing her coat and purse.

They took a cab to the restaurant. Pam was feeling a little self conscious, especially walking in the boots. When they walked inside Natalee scanned the room.

"_There they are!" _she said pointing. Pam followed Natalee to a table in the corner. A tall man with dark hair hurried over to greet them. Natalee threw her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. Then she turned to Pam.

"_Pam, this is Aidan. Aidan this is my friend Pam."_

"_Hi Pam. It's great to meet you!"_ Aidan said warmly.

"_Thanks! It's great to meet you too!" _

"_Pam…this is my brother Carter…his girlfriend Marie and her sister Sarah." _Natalee said introducing the rest of the table.

"_It's nice to meet you all." _Pam said. She was normally very shy in situations like this, but she was determined to get the most out of her experience. She had a feeling this was going to be a great night.


	8. Chapter 8

-1Pam looked up from her sketch book to see the sun rising up over the city. She had woken up really early, made herself some tea and had gone out on the balcony to sketch. It had been a week since she had sent the e-mail to Jim and he had not responded. The first few days she had been really anxious about it, but finally her nerves had calmed and she had done a good job of not thinking about it. She hadn't sketched since her meltdown the week before and she was excited to add something new to her book. She carefully picked up a pencil and began to outline the skyline. Her pencil traveled smoothly over the page, adding shape and dimension. She wished that she could truly do the city justice. It wasn't like anything she had ever seen before. It was big and loud, but there was just something about it was the genuinely magical. After awhile she stopped and looked at her sketch. She was actually pleased at how it was turning out. When she was alone and it was quiet she always found that her thoughts turned to Jim. She thought about the jokes, the laughs, the moments when his eyes would find hers and her heart would stop at the thought of what might happen next. She thought of the time on the Booze Cruise when he had looked at her so deeply, so intensely that she had been sure he was going to kiss her. She knew deep down that she had wanted him too, but her lack of courage paralyzed her and she did the only thing she could which was to leave. At that moment, up above the briefly quiet city she had a feeling of closeness despite the separation, that she only felt with _him. _A feeling that that made her think that she should give this drawing to him when she was finished with it. That is…if she ever saw him again. She worked on the picture for awhile longer before going inside.

She had just curled up onto the couch with a book when she heard a knock at the door. Pam glanced at the clock…6:45 AM. "Who on earth could be here this early in the morning on a Saturday?" she thought as she walked over to the front door. She peered through the peephole and squealed when she saw her sister standing on the other side. She flung open the door.

"_Kate! What are you doing here?" _Pam exclaimed pulling her sister into a hug.

"_I decided to come and surprise you! Thought you could show me around this city of yours."_ Kate said smiling.

"_Come in!! I can't believe you here! It's great to see you!"_

Kate sat down next to Pam on the couch. _"You look great Pam. Looks like New York is agreeing with you."_

"_Well I don't know about that, but I do feel good. This has been great!"_

"_I want to see all this stuff you bought on your big New York shopping excursion." _Kate said. _"I can't believe you actually spent a whole day shopping….and had fun doing it!"_

"_I know! I couldn't believe it either. Are you hungry? Do you want to go get some breakfast?" _ Pam asked.

"_Sure…that sounds great."_

"_Let me just change really quick…and leave a note for Natalee."_

Kate followed Pam into her bedroom and flopped onto her bed. _"How are you guys getting along?"_

"_Great!!"_ Pam said opening her closet. _"She is really nice. We actually hang out a lot."_

"_Holy crap!"_ Kate said jumping off the bed and hurrying over to the closet. _"You bought all this stuff?"_

"_Well…some if it was mine from before…but yeah. I did go a little crazy on the shopping spree!!"_

"_Your clothes are officially cooler than mine. Never thought that would happen!" _ Kate said with a laugh.

"_Oh thanks!" _Pam said giving her sister a gentle shove. "_Well I can't take any credit. Natalee picked out stuff, I tried it on, she told me if it looked good and I bought it."_

"_It's like you have your own personal shopper!"_ Kate said and she rifled through the clothes.

"_Check out this dress…" _Pam said pulling out one of the new dresses she had bought.

"_Wow! This is gorgeous Pam! We're going to have to have a fashion show or something!"_

Pam laughed and carefully placed the dress back in the closet. _"Yeah right! Now I just need somewhere to wear it."_

"_Oh that remind me!" _ Kate said opening her purse. _"This came for you a couple of days ago."_

She pulled out a square white envelope and handed it to Pam. Pam looked at the return address label…small and white with a tiny refrigerator in the corner.

"_This must be Phyllis's wedding invitation." _She tore open the envelope and then started to laugh.

"_What's so funny?" _Kate asked.

Pam handed her the invite and then pulled a dark green t-shirt out of the closet.

"_This is your wedding invitation!" _Kate said. _"Complete with the P and R monogram at the top!"_

"_I know! I can't believe she used the same ones!"_ Pam laughed as she pulled on the t-shirt and a pair of jeans. She grabbed her new brown cable zip sweater and said, _"Ready?"_

Kate tossed the invitation on Pam's bed and followed her out of the room.

Pam quickly jotted a note for Natalee on the white board that hung next to the fridge. Then she grabbed her purse and keys and headed for the door. They went to the small café around the corner.

"_So…." _Kate said sitting down across from Pam. _"Anything new? With…..anything?"_

"_Way to be subtle Kate!"_ Pam said taking a sip of her tea. _"Well…he e-mailed me…last week sometime. It was short. He asked why I left without saying goodbye."_

"_Seriously? Did you write back?"_

"_Yeah…nothing too detailed. I just told him that I was sorry that I didn't say goodbye. I didn't know what else to say…you know?"_

"_Wow…way to tell him how you really feel!" _ Kate said with a wink. _"I am sure he misses you though!"_

Pam scoffed softly. _"Yeah I don't know about that. He hasn't written me back since." _

"_I'm sure he will." _Kate said.

"_Enough about him! Tell me about you! What's new? Seeing anyone?"_

Kate knew better than to keep pushing her sister. So she quickly changed the subject to school and life back home in Scranton.

After they had finished eating they headed back to Pam's apartment. Natalee was sitting on the couch watching the morning news.

"_Hey!" _Pam said setting her purse down on the entry table. "_I brought you a muffin."_

"_Oh thanks! I thought you were still asleep!"_

"_No…actually my sister surprised me. She came up to hang out for the day!" _Pam said motioning to Kate who had come in behind her.

"_Hi!" _Natalee said standing up to greet Kate. _"Kate right?"_

"_Yeah! It's nice to see you again."_

"_You too!"_ Natalee took the muffin Pam handed her and sat back down on the couch. _"What do you guys have planned today?"_

"_Nothing really. Probably walk around the city a little bit, go see the Statue of Liberty. Maybe go by the Met. What do you have going on?" _Pam asked sitting down in the armchair.

"_That sounds fun! Well Aidan has a meeting at the GAP corporate offices and then we are meeting for lunch. Then he is taking me out to this warehouse where they are going through all the inventory that didn't sell or were too overstocked on. They sell things to employees and their friends/family for like 75 - 80 off. You guys should totally come. They have tons of great stuff and it's so cheap!"_

Pam turned to Kate. _"What do you think?"_

"_That sounds awesome! I am always up for shopping! Are you sure you don't mind!"_

Natalee laughed. _"You sound just like Pam! Of course not. It'll be totally great. Just give me a call when you are ready to go and I'll give you directions. It doesn't start until 3:00 so you can meet us there just before if you want."_

"_Thanks Natalee. That will be awesome!" _Pam said pulling on her sweater. _"Ready?" _she asked Kate.

"_Yeah! We'll see you in a while." _Kate said to Natalee

"_Definitely! Have fun"_

Pam and Kate spent the rest of the morning taking the ferry out the Statue of Liberty. They laughed and took pictures. Pam loves spending time with her sister and for the first time in a long time her every waking thought wasn't filled with Jim.

They went to Central Park and had lunch at the Saurin Parke Café and then wandered around the park. Around 2:30 Pam's cell phone rang and it was Natalee telling her directions to the warehouse.

The warehouse sale was huge. Kate loved to shop so she was in her element. Pam just laughed as she watched her race around picking up shirts, skirts, pants, jackets and shoes.

"_This is incredible!" _Kate would say as she would find something else to buy.

It took two hours before Kate finally was done. Pam had done her fair share of shopping as well, but she moved at a much slower pace. She had picked up several more tops, some jeans, a couple pairs of dress pants, two new skirts, a jacket, another dress and two pairs of shoes.

"_I don't think we're going to be able to fit all of this in one cab!" _Pam said looking at Kate's pile of shopping bags.

"_I did get a lot didn't I?" _Kate asked sheepishly as she stepped back to survey the damage.

"_You think?"_ Pam laughed. She tried to help Kate pick up some of her bags, but was unsuccessful.

"_Need some help?"_ Aidan called jogging over to them.

"_Hey Aidan! I think my sister went a little crazy!!" _Pam laughed.

"_Oh no way! Last year I brought my sister and my mom. They each had to have their own cab to take them, plus all their stuff. I've never seen anyone buy that many clothes." _Aidan looked at the piles of bags surrounding Kate. _"Actually your sister might be a close second!"_

"_It's a sickness really."_ Kate said laughing.

Eventually Pam, Kate and the mountain of shopping bags were packed into the cab. Once back at the apartment Pam helped Kate load her bags into her car. Then they carried Pam's bags upstairs. Kate laid on Pam's bed while Pam put away her new clothes.

"_I am so glad I came up to see you!" _Kate said.

"_Your just happy because you got to stock your closet for the rest of your life." _Pam retorted. _"The fact that you get to spend time with me is just an afterthought!"_

'_Whatever Pammy. I missed you! I was worried about you when we left last time. Actually we all were. It's not like you to do something so spontaneous."_

"_I know, but it's been a really great thing for me."_

"_I can see that….but…." _Kate stopped.

"_But what?"_

"_Are you just going to give up on everything else that easily?"_

"_Give up? There wasn't anything to give up."_

"_Pam…." _Kate said firmly.

"_What? I was engaged to Roy…Jim was in love with me. I said no…he kissed me…I said no again and he left. He was gone for sixth months. Yes, he came back….with a girlfriend. There wasn't anything to give up. He moved on….and now I have to move on also." _Pam said sinking onto the bed next to her sister.

Kate rolled her eyes. _"You're telling me that you don't think that there is even the slightest possibility that he might still feel something for you? Because as much as you want to deny it I __**know**__ you still feel something for him." _

Pam sighed. "_It's not that easy. I broke his heart….I know I did. His face….you should have seen it." _Pam could feel the tears welling up in her eyes.

"_Pam….you have changed so much since you broke up with Roy. You have gained this confidence you never had before. I know what you were hoping things would be like when he came back. But so they weren't what you imagined…oh well. That doesn't mean it's over. Fight for him!!" _Kate sat up so she could put her arms around Pam.

"_I'll see what I can do." _Pam said softly.

"_I just want you to be happy Pam. So happy. You deserve it."_

"_I know you do….thanks." _They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"_Pam?" _they heard Natalee call out.

"_In here." _Kate called as Pam quickly wiped the tears from her eyes.

"_Hey!" _Natalee said sticking her head in the door. _"You guys up for some dinner and a movie or something?"_

"_Yeah….that sounds great._" Pam said standing up.

"_Aidan is finishing up his meeting so he can pick up whatever we want."_

"_You guys decide. I am up for anything." _Pam said. _"I want to go grab a quick shower."_

Pam grabbed some clean clothes and a towel and headed into the bathroom. By the time she had finished her shower and had gotten dressed Aidan had brought the food. They all filled their plates and then settled in the living room. The conversation flowed effortlessly. Pam had already spent a lot of time with Aidan and Natalee. After they had gone to dinner the weekend before Aidan spent a few days at their apartment and had taken them out every night. One night they had all stayed up until 2:00 in the morning talking and Pam and Natalee were both yawning all through their classes the next day. Pam really admired Natalee and Aidan as a couple. They were perfect for each other. She could see that after just spending a small amount of time with them. Aidan was very kind and respectful of Natalee. He actually sometimes reminded Pam of Jim. The way that he was always putting Natalee first. He just had a gentleness about him that Pam had always seen in Jim.

The time passed too quickly and it was soon time for Kate to leave. After saying goodbye to Natalee and Aidan, Pam walked with Kate down to her car.

"_Thanks so much for coming." _Pam said throwing her arms around her sister.

"_Of course! I had so much fun!"_

"_Me too! Hopefully I can come home in the next couple of weeks."_

"_Well aren't you going to come for that wedding? The wedding invitation idea stealer?!" _ Kate laughed.

"_Oh…yeah…maybe. It's just…."_

"_I know…he'll probably be there. All the more reason for you to go! Fight for him!" _Kate gave Pam one last hug, got into her car and with a wave she was gone.

Pam went to bed that night with Kate's words resonating in her head. Fight for him…it sounded like a good idea…the only problem was she had no idea how to do that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn't until Wednesday of the next week that Pam heard back from Jim. His e-mail was short and simple. He said that he understood her needing to go. He wrote that he was okay…work was the same. There was no mention of Karen. At the end of the e-mail he had put his phone number and had written that he wasn't sure if she still had it and she should give him a call sometime. She wasn't sure what he meant by that. Of course she still had his number. Often late at night she would find herself ready to dial it, but could never work up the courage to actually send for fear that she would freeze up if he answered. She didn't even know what she would say.

The next couple of weeks passed by quickly. She had tacked Phyllis's wedding invitation up on the bulletin board that was by her desk, but she still hadn't decided if she would RSVP or not. Her days were spent working feverishly on projects for the internship and at night if her and Natalee weren't still working on projects they were hanging out at places around the city. Aidan was a frequent visitor to their apartment. He came up from Boston every couple of days for meetings and would usually take them both someplace nice for dinner. Pam felt bad about infringing on Natalee's time with Aidan, but most of the time they insisted that Pam come with them or if she didn't they would bring her back something and then would spend the rest of evening hanging out at the apartment.

One night Pam was sitting on the couch with the wedding invitation in her lap. Natalee was out with Aidan and Pam had spent the entire night with her phone in her hand debating on calling Phyllis to RSVP.

"Hey!" Natalee said walking through the front door. "What's going on?"

"Oh nothing." Pam said.

"What's that?" Natalee asked motioning to the invitation.

"_It's an invitation to a wedding of this woman that I worked with in Scranton. I can't decide if I want to go or not."_

"_Why not? I mean if she was your friend from work…." _Natalee stopped suddenly as the realization hit her. _"Jim…."_

"_Yeah…." _ Pam said.

"_Oh you are **going** to that wedding. You are going and you are going to look SO hot, Jim won't know what hit him!"_

Pam laughed. _"I don't know about that!"_

"_Come on! You bought that great dress that you still haven't worn. It'll be perfect."_

"_I do want to go. I could see my family and other friends from work….but…I don't have anyone to go…with." _

" _I have the best idea!!" Natalee said with excitement. "You are going to take Aidan!"_

"_What?!" _Pam asked incredulously.

"_Yeah! Take him with you! He can go as your date. You'll look totally hot and have a hot date and Jim will be SO jealous!"_

"_I don't know Natalee…"_

"_Come on Pam. I know that he is still in love with you and you have to show him what he's missing."_

"_He is not still in love with me!" _Pam said weakly

"_Whatever…you call and RSVP to that wedding right now. I am calling Aidan."_

Pam knew it was useless to argue with Natalee when she was like this so she flipped open her phone and dialed Phyllis's number. She got the answering machine.

"_Hi Phyllis. It's Pam. Sorry it's taken me so long to RSVP. I hope it's not too late. I just wanted to let you know that I will be there…."_

She glanced over at Natalee who gave her a thumbs up.

"…_.with a guest. Call me if there is a problem! See you soon!" _Pam quickly hung up.

"_I can't believe I let you talk me into this!" _Pam said throwing one of the throw pillows from the couch at Natalee.

"_Aidan is all for it. It will be great!" _Natalee smiled.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was almost as if fate was revealing itself because the following Monday in between classes Jan called her into her office.

"_How are things going Pam?" _Jan asked.

"_Great! Everything is going really well." _Pam said.

"_Good. Well look the reason I called you in here was to ask if you would be willing to do a small project for me."_

"_Sure…what sort of project?" _Pam asked.

"_I have asked each intern to design a logo for a different branch. I wanted to see if you would design the logo for the Scranton branch."_

"_Oh….well sure. I'd be happy too." _Pam said.

"_The only thing is that we would need to go down to Scranton…meet with Michael about some ideas. As the regional manager he gets the final say in the logo."_

"_Oh…."_ Pam faltered.

"_Is that a problem?"_

"_No…not at all. When do we need to go down there?" _Pam asked.

"_Well I was going to give you a choice of a couple of dates and see what worked for you."_

"_I am actually going down there next weekend for a wedding. So the Thursday or Friday before?" _Pam didn't understand why her heart was beating so fast.

"_That's perfect." _Jan said writing it down on her calendar._ "Ok, I will call Michael and tell him that we will be down there next week."_

As Pam left Jan's office the thumping in her chest increased. All that she had been running from was quickly catching up to her.


	9. Chapter 9

-1Pam stared blankly into her open suitcase. She had been in the process of packing for her trip to Scranton for the hour and a half. She had been excused early from her work at the Met to pack and to make the drive down to Scranton. So far all she had packed were three pairs of socks and her toothbrush. Her mind was racing a million miles an hour. Tomorrow she was going to see Jim. She felt the same way she did when he had come back from Stamford, but she remembered what had happened after that and so she tried to suppress those feelings as much as possible. This was a business trip, she tried to tell herself. She was going with Jan as a representative of the corporate office. They were having a meeting with Michael. Then she was going to a wedding…of an office friend and then she would be returning to New York. It would be fine. It didn't have to be quite the crisis situation that Pam imagined. She wondered if Jim knew she was coming. She wondered if Michael had made a big announcement about it. Maybe Jim wouldn't even be at work. Maybe he would take the day off so he wouldn't have to see her.

"Stop Pam! You are being ridiculous. Get a grip!" she thought to herself and she opened her closet for the thousandth time. She took out several tops, two pairs of jeans, a pair of dress pants and a skirt. She carefully folded the shirts and jeans into the suitcase and hung the other items in her garment bag. Then she pulled out the new dress she had bought on her shopping excursion with Natalee. It was a gorgeous dress, simple, but it fit nicely and she felt pretty in it. It was a deep navy blue satin with small cap sleeves and an empire waist. She had also bought these great black high heels that Natalee had made her practice walking in all week so that her feet were used to them. Natalee had also insisted on treating her to a facial, manicure and pedicure the night before. Pam couldn't believe how close they had become in such a short amount of time. She carefully hung the dress in the garment bag and placed her slip and the high heels into the suitcase. She added one more skirt so she had a couple of options to wear to the meeting tomorrow. She couldn't believe that Natalee had turned her into such a girly girl. Usually it took her five minutes to get dressed, but she realized that it was from years living with Roy who grew impatient if he ever had to wait more than 10 seconds for her to get dressed. Finally she pulled on a pair of jeans, a small floral print pleated top and a purple scoop neck sweater. She slipped on some white converse sneakers and then zipped her suitcases closed. Natalee and Aidan were going to drive down to Scranton together on Saturday morning, so that Aidan could go with Pam to Phyllis's wedding.

Pam grabbed her sketch book, camera, purse and coat. She glanced around once more to make sure she had everything. Then she made her way down to her car. The drive to her parents house went by faster than she had anticipated. She pulled into their driveway around 6 to see her mom and Kate sitting on the front porch.

"_Hi!" _Pam called as she climbed out of the car.

"_Look at you! You look great!" _her mom said rushing to hug her.

"_Thanks! What are you guys doing? It's freezing out here!"_

"_Dad is inside watching a game and his team is losing so we came out here to get away from the yelling." _Kate said giving Pam a quick hug.

"_Good idea!" _Pam laughed. _"Don't you have school?" _she asked Kate.

"_I finished early today so I thought I'd drive over and hang out while you're here!" _Kate said.

"_I'm glad you did! This will be fun!" _

"_Where's your stuff?" _Diane asked.

"_In the trunk." _Pam grabbed her purse and coat from the passenger seat while Kate and Diane grabbed her suitcases out of the back.

Pam opened the door to the bedroom that her and Kate had shared when they were kids. It was just as she had always remembered it. The twin beds with the matching quilts. She set her stuff down on the bed as Kate walked in with her suitcases.

"_You packed a lot of stuff for just a weekend!" _she said setting them down in the corner.

"_I know….too much. Natalee has turned me into a girl!"_

"_Heaven forbid!" _Kate laughed. _"What time is your meeting tomorrow?" _

"_I have to be in Scranton by 9." _Pam said sitting down on the bed. _"Man, this room has not changed one bit!"_

"_I know! It's like we never left home!"_

"_Girls!!" _they heard Diane call up the stairs. _"Dinner is ready!"_

"_Wow!" _Pam laughed. _"Nothing's changed!"_

Pam told her family all about her internship over dinner. She told them about New York and about the Met. She talked non-stop about her classes and all the great things she was learning.

"_So what is this meeting you're having tomorrow?" _Diane asked.

"_Jan has asked every intern to design a log for a different branch. It will be used on business cards and on the website and stuff. I guess she figured since I came from Scranton that it'd be cool if I did their logo."_

"_That is great! And then you have the wedding on Saturday?"_

"_Yeah…" Pam said softly as she swallowed another bite of potatoes._

"_Kate said your roommate is really nice." _Ben said.

"_Oh she's great. Actually, her and her boyfriend are coming down to Scranton tomorrow night. I'd love for you guys to meet them. Maybe we could meet them for dinner or something?"_

"_Sure…." _Diane said. _"Actually that is perfect because your dad and I have to go to Scranton tomorrow anyways. Your Aunt Beth had a baby last night."_

"_Oh great!! That will work out great then. I was planning on staying in Scranton Friday night anyways…so I wouldn't have to drive back here and then drive back to Scranton for the wedding." _She turned to Kate_. "Natalee and Aidan are staying at the Station hotel. Maybe we could try and get a room? Go 50/50?"_

"_Yeah. That would be awesome." _Kate said.

After dinner Pam took Kate upstairs to ask her opinion on an outfit for the meeting the next day.

"_You want to look hot for Jim right?" _Kate asked flipping through the clothes Pam had brought.

"_Well…that's not really…well…yeah." _Pam said sheepishly.

"_I would totally wear this then." _Kate said holding up a gold silk shirt and a grey tweed skirt. _"Plus I have these great shoes you can wear."_

'_You don't think that's too dressy?'_ Pam asked.

"_No….not at all. It's perfect for a business meeting and it will definitely grab some attention."_

"_Ok…" _Pam said. _"I'll take your word for it!" _

Pam did not sleep well that night. She was so extremely nervous about what the day would bring that her insides felt like they were twisted into knots. Around 4:00 AM she finally crawled out of bed and crept downstairs. She was surprised to see her Dad sitting at the kitchen table.

"_What are you doing up?" _she asked.

"_I have to get in early and do some inventory at the west building today." _he said as he bent to tie his work boots. Pam's dad was the supervisor of a steel plant.

"_Have time for some pie?_" Pam asked as she pulled a leftover piece from the fridge.

"_Of course! There is always time for pie." _Ben grabbed two forks and then sat next to his daughter at the counter.

"_Why are you up so early?" _he asked.

"_Couldn't sleep…just nerves I think." _Pam said taking a forkful of pie.

"_You'll do great. I am so proud of what you're doing. I never thought you'd be able to do something like this…for yourself you know. Not while you were with…." _Ben stopped suddenly.

"_I know dad. I didn't think so either."_

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Ben was always a man of few words, but Pam never doubted his love for his family. He was a great provider and had always been an encouraging father.

"_Well…." _Ben said setting down his fork. _"I better get going. Good luck today. You'll do great. We'll see you tonight."_

"_Thanks dad!" _Pam smiled wrapping her arms around him. _"I love you."_

"_Love you too."_

Pam waved as her dad walked out the door. Then she quickly rinsed off the plate and forks and then made her way back upstairs. She lay back down on the bed, but was now wide awake. She lay quietly staring up at the ceiling until her alarm went off at 5:00. She showered quickly and then set to work on her hair. First she blow dried it straight, then set it in big hot rollers that she bought. It have her hair a slight wave and gave it some volume. While she was waiting she went downstairs and made some tea and grabbed a bagel, but found that she was too nervous to eat. After forcing herself to eat a couple of bites she went back upstairs to finish her hair. She loved the way that it flowed across her shoulders. Now that her hair was done she set to work on her makeup. Natalee had showed her some tricks to putting on eyeliner and she had been doing it more and more. As she looked in the mirror she started to feel a little self conscious. She couldn't remember the last time she had put this much time and effort into her appearance, but she really liked the final result.

She quietly tiptoed back into the bedroom to get dressed.

"_Hey." _Kate said sleepily.

"_Did I wake you?" _Pam whispered.

"_No…not at all. Wow! Your hair looks incredible. I've never seen it like that." _Kate said propping herself up on one elbow.

"_Thanks. Do you think it's too much?" _Pam asked.

"_No! You look fantastic. Jim is going to loose it."_

"_We'll see. So you're coming down with mom and dad right?"_

"_Yeah. Around 5:00"_

"_Ok…I will go and get us checked in to the hotel. Do you mind bringing my bags?"_

"_Nope…that's fine." _Kate said yawning. _"Good luck today. You'll do great."_

Pam smiled as Kate pulled the pillow over her eyes.

"_Thanks…see you tonight." _Pam slipped on the strappy gold wedge sandals that Kate had set out for her. She quickly glance at herself in the full length mirror. She didn't even recognize herself. She began to worry that people would notice how much effort she put into this, but then she realized that she didn't care. She looked good and felt good and she began to feel the uneasiness leave her and self-confidence take it's place.

She pulled on her coat, grabbed her keys and hurried out to her car. It was about ten after seven and she knew she was going to have to hurry to make it by 9:00. She sang along with the radio as she drove, hoping that the feeling she had when she looked in the mirror would stay with her long enough so that she wouldn't completely embarrass herself when she saw him.

In a matter of no time she was pulling into the familiar parking lot of Dunder Mifflin. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw his car was already there….parked next to Karen's. She took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to wait for Jan or go in without her. Luckily she didn't have to make a decision as she saw Jan's car pull into the parking lot. She quickly snuck a glance at her reflection in the window.

"_Pam…." _Jan called as she got out her car. "_Have you been waiting long?"_

"_Oh no. I just pulled in." _Pam said walking towards her.

"_Good. Are you ready?" _

"_I think so!"_

"_You'll be great! Let's go." _When Pam and Jan stepped inside the elevator, Pam felt like she had stepped back into time. She felt like she had never left Scranton, never followed her dream, and most of all, she felt like she was going back to her perch behind the desk pining for the man that she loved but couldn't have. Funny how just walking into a building can bring out all those old feelings and insecurities she had…and had been working to get rid of while in New York.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The past couple of weeks had been nothing short of pure anguish for Jim. He had been sure that his heart had stopped beating when he opened his e-mail to see her e-mail address in his inbox. Her e-mail had been short, not exactly what he had been hoping for, but when he actually thought about it he wasn't sure what he really was wanting her to say. He found himself looking at her picture on the website at least twice a day. Feeling that for that brief moment they were connected again and there wasn't this huge separation between them. He had spent most of his nights with Karen, but he could feel himself slipping farther and farther away from her. There were moments, when she wasn't texting her friends during dinner or talking his ear off about something, that he was sure she could sense it too. They did have fun sometimes. They could laugh over the same movies, she showed him some great restaurants and he could understand exactly what she meant when she complained about Michael. He knew from the beginning that she felt more for him than he felt for her. Not for lack of him trying though. He wanted to give her what she needed. He wanted to be able to look at her and tell her that he loved her, but the words never came. Instead he just smiled and kissed her and pretended that everything was fine. One night after they had gotten into an argument about his "childish" pranks on Dwight he had gone home and e-mailed Pam back. He had given her his phone number…in case she had deleted it when she left. He knew it sounded lame, but it was a desperate attempt to stay connected with her. She had never called though. He had prepared himself for that though, so the dull throb in his heart didn't ache too badly whenever his phone would ring and it wasn't her.

He was glad it was Friday. He had had dinner with Karen the night before and he felt guilty about the fact that he was sort of excited that she was having girls night with her sister and a couple friends tonight after work. He had invited his brother and a couple friends over to play poker. He would play some basketball in the morning and then pick up Karen that night to go to Phyllis's wedding.

"……_so I think that's all we're going to be doing." _he heard Karen say and he realized he hadn't been listening to a word out of her mouth for the last 10 minutes. She was leaning up against the counter while he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"_Oh….great. Sounds fun…." _he muttered taking a sip. He tried to ignore a quizzical look from Kelly and quickly changed the subject. He turned to Kevin who was sitting at the table looking blankly at the newspaper.

"_Big plans for the weekend Kev?" _he asked.

"_Oh…you know…" _Kevin began.

"_Whoa…" _he heard Karen exclaim suddenly. _"Is that Pam?"_

This time he was sure his heart had stopped beating. He was surprised that he didn't send his coffee mug shattering all over the floor. He quickly looked up in the direction that Karen was pointing….and there she was. She was hanging up her coat and she looked…..not like Pam. He just stood there, mouth agape, not quite being able to connect his brain to his body.

He could vaguely hear people talking around him, but he could not tear his eyes away from her.

"_I would so hit that…._" he heard Kevin say.

"_Oh My God! Pam looks Angelina Jolie hot. Not pre-Brad, brother kissing, goth queen hot. She looks post-Brad and Shiloh hot. I guess Roy was her Billy Bob Thornton!" _Kelly squealed as she flew out of the kitchen and ran towards Pam.

"_Are you going to go say hi?" _Karen asked not noticing his blank stare. _"Jim?"_

But nothing registered. She hadn't seen him yet. She was standing slightly behind Jan who was on her cell phone. What was she doing here, Jim thought.

"_JIM!" _he heard Karen say forcefully.

"_Sorry…what?"_ he asked carefully setting the coffee mug down on the counter.

"_Never mind…" _Karen rolled her eyes and stomped out leaving Jim standing like a breathless statue in the kitchen.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Her eyes went immediately to his desk when she walked in, but it was empty. She quickly hung her coat up on the rack and stood back waiting for Jan to finish her phone call.

"_PAM!!!!!" _

She looked up to see Kelly running frantically across the office. She threw her arms around Pam. _"You look like totally insanely awesome! Look at your hair! I didn't know it could look so totally awesome!!! And your outfit!! I can't even believe how totally hot you look! You are totally like Angelina!"_

"_Wow Kelly…"_ Pam said. _"Um…thanks."_

"_What are you doing here!! How could you even come back here after living in New York!?! Have you seen any celebrities! Do you party with famous people!?!! Oh my GOSH!!!"_

Pam took a step back as Kelly continued to screech in her ear. She saw Karen come out of the kitchen and smiled dimly when Karen offered her a flimsy wave. She still couldn't see Jim.

"_Is Michael in?" _she heard Jan ask Ryan who was sitting in Pam's spot behind reception.

"_Not yet…" _Ryan said. He quickly looked Pam over and said, _"Hi Pam."_

"_Hi Ryan."_

"_Pam!"_ Pam glanced up to see Phyllis walking towards her. She quickly hugged her and asked if she had received her RSVP to the wedding.

"_I did! And you're bringing someone?"_

"_Oh…"_ Pam faltered, not wanting to hear another ear piercing squeal from Kelly. _"Yes…I am."_

"_Great! I am glad you can come." _Phyllis said heading back to her desk.

"_Well, well, well….." _Michael said coming into the office. _"Look who finally decided to grace us with her presence."_

"_Hi Michael. It's good to see you."_ Pam said.

"_How can you say that? After the way that you…."_

"_Michael…" _Jan cut in. _"Should we start?"_

"_Yuppers…."_

"_What did I tell you…." _Jan growled softly as she followed Michael into his office. Pam was about to follow them when a movement by the kitchen door caught her eye. She looked up and there he was. Her heart fell into her stomach as their eyes caught. He looked fantastic. Just as she had remembered him. 'Get a grip Pam. It's only been a month.' she thought to herself. His eyes were burning a hole into her. She couldn't tell by the look on his face if he was happy to see her or mad that she had never called him. He just stood there staring at her. She didn't know what to do. Should she go over? Would he even want to talk to her? Finally he lifted his hand in a wave. She started to wave back when she heard Jan call her name from Michael's office. She gave him a warm smile before going in and shutting the door.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim stood rooted in place for a good five minutes after Pam had disappeared into Michael's office. He couldn't believe she was here, in Scranton, at Dunder Mifflin. She looked beautiful. Her hair was flowing softly around her shoulders. She was wearing an outfit that was a far cry from her typical skirts and cardigans, but despite the outward transformation he could still see she was the same Pam in the way she hung back and most of all in the way she smiled. He ran his fingers through his hair as he cautiously approached his desk, fearing that if he got too close she would disappear again. He didn't dare to even glance towards Michael's office, feeling that if he did it would be as if he was exposing this thoughts and feelings to the entire office. He stole a glance at Karen, but she was vigorously typing away at her computer and wasn't paying any attention to him. He sat down at his desk, but he still felt like his brain was made of Jell-O. Finally he glanced quickly towards Michael's office. He could see her through the blinds, leaning over a laptop placed in front of her on Michael's desk. He took this moment to study her face the best he could from where he was sitting. She was pointing to something on the screen while Jan and Michael watched over her shoulder and she looked…poised… confident. It was almost as by looking at her he was sending her a message with his mind because she looked up and their eyes locked. She quickly looked away and refocused on the computer. He was stunned by the fact that even after all this time and through all the tension that built the wall that was between them she could still make him weak in the knees with just a look.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam was trying really hard to concentrate on what Jan and Michael were saying, but she couldn't help but be extremely aware of the fact that he was less than 5 feet away from her. Her heart had nearly beat out of her chest when she looked up and saw him looking at her through the window. She was showing Michael and Jan some of the ideas she had come up with for the logo, but her mind was racing and her stomach was fluttering.

She was quickly shaken out of her thoughts by Michael's voice saying loudly, _"I can't say what I think of the design Jan. If you haven't noticed I am a little upset that Miss Beesly just came back in like nothing happened."_

"Michael…." Pam began.

"_No…JAN…" _Michael said pointedly slumping down in his chair and crossing his arms like a three year old throwing a tantrum. _"Pam was like one of my kids…a kid in the family of Dunder Mifflin. She left…didn't say goodbye…no cards…no calls on my birthday…just silence."_

"_Michael…." _Jan sighed exasperatedly. _"She has only been gone a month and your birthday isn't until March."_

"_That's not the point. The point is that Pam doesn't know what it's like to have your heart ripped out and then stomped on again before it's even had time to heal. Well I am the father in this office and Pam should have thought about the pain she caused us all before she came back trying to be all….progincal…pordigal..projical daughter on me."_

Pam just stared at him. _"Michael…" _she tried to start again.

"_What? What's that? Is someone talking?" _Michael turned his chair around to face the window. Jan looked at Pam and rolled her eyes.

"_Michael…" _Jan said sharply.

"_You know as my girlfriend I would hope that you would take my side in this situation." _Michael said without turning around.

Jan cleared her throat. Pam could tell that it was all Jan could do to not pick something up and throw it at him. Jan turned to Pam and asked, _"Could you give us just a minute?" _

"_Oh…um…sure." _Pam stood up and quietly opened the door to see Dwight standing guard.

"_Hi Dwight." _Pam said with a smile.

"_Pam…" _Dwight nodded curtly.

"_Nice to see you."_

"_What's nice about it? It is my job as Michael's number two to be on call when he is faced with ghosts from the past."_

"_Oh…okay. We'll keep up the good work." _Pam said. It was all she could do to not look at Jim. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She thought briefly about going and saying hi, but decided against it and instead turned and walked towards the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee and went into the break room. She sat at one of the tables glancing over the newspaper.

"_Hi."_

How could one simple word make her feel weak in the knees. She slowly turned and there he was. She couldn't breath, couldn't move, couldn't speak.

Finally she was able to squeak out a _"Hi."_

"_Um….how are you?" _he asked leaning against the door frame, unsure about coming all the way into the room.

"_I am doing good, thanks. How are you?" _she asked nervously tapping on her coffee mug.

"_I'm….I'm doing okay." _The look on Jim's face was heartbreaking. Why was he the one person that could just look at her and send her whole world into a tailspin.

Neither of them spoke for the next minute. The tense silence just stretched out before them.

"_Are you staying for Phyllis's wedding?" _Jim asked finally.

"_Yeah…I am." _Pam couldn't even bring herself to meet his gaze for fear that she would never be able to look away.

"_That's good."_

Finally Jim took a deep breath and inched closer into the room.

"_Do you think…I mean…is there any way that maybe we could get a cup of coffee or something?" _His voice sounded hoarse…almost shaking.

Pam gulped. Of course she wanted to get coffee, she wanted desperately for things to go back to the way they were. She sat silently for a moment, then she took a deep breath.

"_Jim…"_

"_Pam!" _Dwight yelled storming in through the door.

"_Yes Dwight?" _Pam said glancing over at Jim who still had his eyes glued on her.

"_Michael needs you in his office."_

Pam stood up. She felt as if her feet were glued to the floor.

"_Ok Dwight." _she said softly. _"I will be there in just a minute."_

"_No Pam…Michael doesn't have a minute. He is very busy right now."_ Dwight looked suspiciously from Pam to Jim. _"Plus it is my job to disrupt all prank planning activities." _Dwight barked crossing his arms over his chest defiantly.

"_Fine…I'm coming." _As she moved towards the door her heart was sinking.

Jim looked at her imploringly…waiting for her answer.

"_I'm sorry." _she said meekly. _"I just…I don't think it's a good idea."_

And with that she was gone and Jim was left standing alone and breathless in the break room. A look of utter hopelessness on his face.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A good half hour passed before Jim finally sank back into his desk chair. Again, he had taken a chance and again he had lost. Why was it that the one person that he would fight to the end for was the one person that wouldn't fight back. He worked the rest of the morning in a haze only to come out of it when Karen asked him to go get some lunch. Pam was standing at reception getting a fax. When Jim looked up he caught her looking at him. The sharp ache inside of him was throbbing. He missed her. He missed her so much, but she obviously didn't feel the same way. She quickly looked away when his eyes met hers.

"_Jim? Lunch?" _Karen asked again.

He took one more glance at Pam…or at the back of her head and stood up. _"Definitely…" _he said a little too loudly…almost hoping that Pam would hear him and turn around to see him with Karen. He knew it was mean and he felt like a total asshole for doing it. Karen smiled happily and he followed her out of the office not seeing the green eyes that he knew so well watch him leave and then promptly fill with tears.

When they walked back into the office after lunch he went right to his desk. He sat down and busied himself in some paperwork. Finally he dared to glance towards Michael's office. She wasn't there. When he went to buy a bottle of water he didn't see her in the kitchen or break room either.

"_Did Jan and Pam leave?" _he finally asked Dwight.

"_How should I know?" _Dwight grumbled banging on his keyboard.

"_Never mind…" _Jim asked. When he finally left at 5:30 she had still not come back. He wanted to feel relieved, but the only thing he felt was a small sense of excitement knowing that he would get to see her tomorrow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam's Outfit:

http://s247. 


	10. Chapter 10

-1Pam and Jan had left not too long after Jim and Karen went to lunch. Michael had calmed down and had told Pam that when she wanted to come back the "family" would be ready. He had selected a logo and Pam had wanted to get to the hotel so she could work on it some more. She drove past Cuigios on her way to the hotel and saw Jim's car parked outside. Earlier when she had seen him leave with Karen she had to blink away the tears caused by the hurt and confusion she was feeling. She honestly didn't know what to do. It had been proven the being apart was too difficult, but she was so sure that because there was too much from the past that had kept them apart that they were destined to stay that way forever.

She had booked a room at the hotel and now lay collapsed on the bed staring up at the ceiling. Thinking about his eyes, his face, the way his hair curled slightly at the back of his neck. She saw his hand on Karen's back and remembered how the heat from his body had lingered on her skin for what seemed like hours anytime he would accidentally brush up against her. She knew now that it was no accident and she would have given anything to relive those moments. To feel his hands on her back, in her hair. His lips on hers.

"I am such a LOSER!" she said aloud. She grabbed the pillow and pulled it over her face as she let out a scream, trying to release some of the tension that had been built up inside of her for so long.

knock knock

Pam sat up abruptly. She hoped that no one had heard her. She quickly hurried to the door and peered through the peephole.

"_Hey…" _she said to Kate as she opened the door.

"_I have brought your traveling closet." _Kate said wheeling Pam's suitcases into the room behind her.

"_Don't be jealous…" _Pam laughed taking the garment bag from Kate's hands and hanging it up in the closet.

"_Wow! This is a great room."_ Kate said collapsing on the bed. _"What time are Natalee and Aidan coming?"_

Pam glanced at her watch. _"They left New York around 4:00, so probably anytime. I told them we'd meet them at Casa De Mama for dinner at 7:00."_

"_Sounds great. I am starving."_ Kate rolled over onto her stomach and looked at Pam. _"So? How did it go? Did he freak when he saw you? How was the meeting? Did you nail it?"_

"_Well let's see….things with Jim suck, he is still with Karen. We spoke maybe ten words to each other the whole time. He asked me out for coffee…not sure why."_

"_What did you say?'_

"_I told him no."_

"_PAM!" _Kate squealed throwing a pillow in Pam's direction. _"Why did you say no?!"_

"_Because I am a loser. I don't know. I just froze. But then he left with Karen so it couldn't have meant anything really."_

"_Oh please. I know you don't believe that. Pam…pretty soon he's just going to stop trying."_

That hit Pam harder than she thought it would. Kate was right. Maybe that had been his last attempt and she had blown it. Then she remembered the way Karen smiled up at him as he helped her on with her coat and she was back to feeling confused.

"_Everything is so screwed up." _Pam said inaudibly.

"_It'll all work out Pam. The way that it is supposed to." _Kate said.

Kate looked at her sister. Sometimes she saw glimpses of the old Pam. The Pam that she knew, but for a really long time there had been a distinct sadness in her eyes. She wished that she could make that go away, but she knew only Pam could take care of that.

"_Look…" _Kate said brightly hoping off the bed. _"What do you want to do until we meet everyone for dinner?"_

Pam smiled at Kate. _"I don't know….um…"_

"_Well I think that you should let me borrow some of those fancy new clothes of yours and we can get all fancy for dinner."_

Pam laughed. _"Help yourself!"_

Pam flipped on the TV and zoned out while Kate took a shower. Then Kate insisted on spreading all of their clothes out on the bed to pick the perfect outfits.

"_Kate! It's not like we're going to the Ritz Carlton or something. We're just having dinner with mom and dad…in Scranton."_

"_Look…I either wear jeans or a lab coat all day. I want to dress up!" _Kate laughed.

"_Okay okay!" _Pam said.

Dinner was fun. Pam's parents liked Natalee and Aidan immediately. Aidan was very interested in Ben's job and Diane was talking to Natalee about growing up in Boston. After dinner they stood in the parking lot saying their goodbye.

"_It was so nice to meet you guys!" _Natalee said hugging Diane goodbye.

"_It was great to finally meet you! Thanks for looking after Pam!" _

"_She's doing just fine on her own!" _Natalee laughed.

After Pam's parents left Pam, Kate, Aidan and Natalee went back to the hotel. Aidan went to his and Natalee's room to make some phone calls so Natalee joined Pam and Kate in their room. Pam filled her in on the events of the day.

"_I can't believe you said no!" _Natalee said.

"_That's what I told her!" _said Kate.

"_I know…." _Pam sighed. _"I can't believe it either."_

They talked until about midnight and then Natalee headed back to her room to go to sleep. Pam changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed.

"_Good night." _Kate said as Pam switched off the light.

"_Night…." _Pam rolled over and was soon asleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim had had a relaxing night at home. Well as relaxing of a night as one can have when your heart feels like it's made of glass and will shatter again at any moment. He ate Chinese food on his couch while watching a basketball game. His mom called to check in and he felt bad that he was so evasive on the phone. She had been really worried about him since he moved to Stamford. He was very close to his mom and had told her about finally telling Pam that he loved her and how nothing came of it. She had asked him to reconsider his move, but when he refused she came over and helped him pack. Karen had been bugging him for a few weeks to meet his parents, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. She had met his sister briefly when she had dropped something off at his house, but Karen had been on the phone and only had time for a quick handshake.

He had slept in late, waking up around 11:00 to his cell phone ringing shrilly in his ears.

"_Hey…" _he mumbled into the phone trying to shield his eyes from the sun streaming through his window.

"_Oh please. You are not still asleep are you?" _he heard Karen on the other end.

What a great way to be woken up. _"What's up Karen?" _he asked climbing out of bed.

"_I just wanted to see if you wanted to go to the gym with me. Then maybe hang out…grab some lunch before going to the wedding."_

"_Oh….um…I'd like too, I gotta get some stuff done around here before we go out tonight."_

"_Whatever!" _Karen said a little too cheerfully. _"Is it cool if I come get ready at your place when I'm done. Then I don't have to go back home."_

"_Um….yeah that's fine."_

"_Ok! See you in a little bit! Don't go back to bed!!" _Jim heard a click and then the dial tone. He threw is phone on his bed and stumbled across the hall to the bathroom. After taking a long hot shower he headed downstairs for some breakfast. He was sitting on his couch eating cereal watching some stupid cartoon on TV when the phone rang.

"_Hello?" _he answered after swallowing a mouthful of cereal.

"_Hey man." _

"_Hey Jon…what's up?"_

"_Oh nothing…just calling to say hi."_

"_Mom called you didn't she?" _Jim asked flipping the channel to some cooking show.

"_Uh….no…." _Jonathan said feigning ignorance.

"_Whatever…I told her I was fine."_

"_Yeah, but that's the problem with being freakishly close to your family. We all know when your lying."_

"_I'm not lying. Everything is fine. I have a job…a house…food…things could be a hell of a lot worse."_

"_Jim…."_ Jonathan knew that something was wrong when his normally upbeat brother talked like this.

Jim took a deep breath. _"She came back…to the office. I saw her. Asked her out for coffee. She turned me down. Said it wasn't a good idea."_

"_Man…I'm sorry."_ Jonathan said _"We have got to get you over this."_

"_Yeah well…that's not going to be easy since I'll probably see her tonight. A lady I work with is getting married…she'll be there."_

"_You're not going to try again are you? I mean there is only so much a man can take."_

"_I know….it's just…"_

"_I know…you're in love with her."_

Jim sighed again. _"Yeah…I am."_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"_Wake up Pammy!!" _

Pam groaned and slowly opened her eyes to find Kate beaming down at her.

"_Go away. Still sleeping." _Pam grumbled. She'd only had one glass of wine at dinner the night before, but she could of sworn that she was hung over.

"_Pam! It's 12:00 in the afternoon! You've been asleep for like 12 hours!!"_

Pam sighed heavily. _"Fine…." _she said throwing back the covers and slowly sitting up.

"_We have to get you beautiful for this wedding!"_ Kate chirped.

"_The wedding is not for another 5 hours!" _Pam said falling back on her pillow.

"_Well seeing how you look right now you're going to need all the time you can get." _Kate laughed ducking as Pam hurled a pillow at her head.

"_Thanks…thanks a lot! Fine…I'm up!"_

"_I'm going to run over to the bakery around the corner and get us something to eat."_

"_Thanks…." _Pam said as she walked into the bathroom. She took one look in the mirror and knew that Kate was right. Her hair was sticking up in all different directions and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"Geez…" Pam thought "Good thing Jim doesn't have to wake up to this every morning. Karen probably wakes up with her make-up on and business suit pressed."

Pam didn't know why she was in such a crappy mood. She had woken up once in the night around 2:00 AM with Kate's comment 'Sooner or later he'll stop trying' ringing in her head. She couldn't understand why someone like Jim, who was smart and funny and good looking would even give her a second glance let alone confessed to being in love with her. When she had rejected him the first time she had felt like a part of her soul had died. She knew it was wrong…knew he was what she had wanted, but fear gripped her heart like an iron hand and she couldn't shake that feeling. It wasn't until she called off the wedding that she finally felt that tightness begin to dissipate. Then he came back and she was ready…excited and hopeful, but Jim…was different. She knew that his distance was a protection. How could it not be? He had offered his heart to her and she had rejected it…broken it. Why would he keep coming back? She didn't deserve him and he didn't deserve the hell she had put him through. Maybe that's why I turned him down for coffee she thought. Maybe I am trying to save him from me. But she knew that that was only part of the truth. She was also afraid that she would tell him that she was in love with him and he would take one look at her and tell her she was too late and she was almost a hundred percent sure that she couldn't take that.

Pam glared at herself once more in the mirror and then slowly climbed into the shower. The hot water helped to wash away some of the guilt and sadness she was feeling, but it didn't rinse away that hollow ache deep in her gut.

She was sitting in a chair out on the balcony when Kate returned with the food.

"_Feel better now?" _Kate asked handing Pam a bottle of water.

"_Yeah…thanks. Sorry I was so awful earlier."_

"_You never have been a morning person!" _Kate laughed taking a bite of her sandwich.

"_True…" _Pam smiled. They hung out on the balcony eating, talking and laughing. Then they went down to the hotel gym and worked out for about an hour. When they came back to the hotel room, Pam decided she better take another shower. She was in the process of blow drying her hair when there was a knock at the door.

"_That must be Natalee." _Kate said.

"_Hey!" _Pam said opening the door.

"_Hey! I've brought supplies!" _Natalee said holding up a huge make-up case.

"_Good grief! You'd think I was the one getting married!" _Pam said closing the door behind her.

She watched as Natalee began spreading make-up and hair products around on the table. _"I don't think this much preparation went into my prom! I don't even have real date!!"_

"_Come on!" _Kate said. _"It's fun!"_

"_Whatever you say." _Pam said.

Natalee set to work on Pam's hair. First she straightened it and then set it in hot rollers. After it was done Natalee pulled out the rollers and let Pam's hair fall down her shoulders in soft curls. Then they set to work on Pam's make-up. Simple, but classic. Kate had ironed her dress. She carefully slipped it on over her head and smoothed the front of it with her hands. She gingerly sat on the edge of the bed and slipped on the new black high heels that she had bought to go with it. Then she stood up and twirled around.

"_You look fantastic." _Kate said.

"That dress is perfect for you!" Natalee agreed.

Pam looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit that she did look pretty nice. The dress fit her nicely and Natalee had done a great job on her hair and make-up. Kate glanced at the clock.

"It's quarter to 5." she said. "You better get going."

"Yeah…." Pam said grabbing her coat and the small black clutch that Natalee had lent her. They took the elevator down to the lobby where Aidan was already waiting. He looked great, Pam had to admit. He was wearing a classy black suit, white dress shirt and a black tie.

"Wow…" he said. "You look great Pam."

"Thanks…" Pam said slipping on her coat. Natalee kissed Aidan goodbye.

"Don't steal my man." she laughed giving Pam a quick hug.

"This is so weird!" Pam said. "But thanks. I really appreciate it."

Pam followed Aidan out to his black Mercedes. He opened the door for her and then went around the other side and got in. Pam had spent enough time with Aidan that she knew this wasn't going to be awkward.

"Thanks for doing this." Pam said as Aidan pulled out of the parking lot. "I know there are probably a hundred other things you'd rather be doing right now."

"_Don't even worry about it Pam. I'm happy to do it."_

They sat in comfortable silence for a minute and then Aidan asked, _"So how do you want to play this?"_

"_What do you mean?" _

"_How do we need to play this? We're trying to make Jim jealous, right? I mean do I need to put my hand on your back, hold your hand, what?"_

"_Oh…I don't know. I didn't really think about it."_ Pam said.

"_Okay…let me take care of it then." _he looked at Pam and winked.

Pam was kind of excited. She didn't know exactly what this evening would hold, but for the first time in a long time she was feeling optimistic about it. She didn't know where this confidence had come from. Since seeing Jim the day before she had been a nervous, sulky mess. But now, dressed up and going to the wedding she felt good.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim had still been lounging on the couch when Karen had come over.

"_Looks like you've had a productive day."_ she said dumping her things on a chair.

"_Yeah…." _Jim said giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"What are you wearing to this thing?" Karen asked.

"_I have a black suit and tie….it's not like tuxedo formal."_

"_Is it ironed?" _she asked hanging up a garment bag on the back of a dining room chair.

It was really starting to get on Jim's nerves the way that she talked down to him at times. He was a grown man and perfectly capable of getting dressed.

"_Yes **mom**…."_ he said sarcastically.

"_I'm sorry…." _she said wrapping her arms around his neck. _"I didn't mean it like that."_

He hugged her back and pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

She moved her fingers down and started toying with his collar. _"Look I need to take a shower….care to join me?" _

Jim really wasn't in the mood for this. Instead he kissed her once more and said, _"You go ahead…Mark is going to be home any minute."_

Karen let go of him looking dejected. _"Honestly?"_

"_Well…I…"_ Jim didn't even know what to say.

"_Whatever Jim. I hope sooner or later you can figure out what the hell is bothering you so that we can actually have a real relationship." _and with that Karen scooped up her stuff and headed up to the bathroom.

Jim watched her go. He knew he was going to have to end this. It just wasn't fair to her. Jonathan had been right. As long as Pam was in the picture he could never be with someone else 100. That thought made him a little mad. What kind of hold did she have on him that she could reject him completely and yet he would keep going back just to get rejected again. Would he ever be able to find happiness again? He knew that part of it was his own fault. She had left. Made a clean break. Yet he had e-mailed her, asking for contact. After tonight she would go back to New York and then that would be the end. It had to be. He had to move on and live his life and forget about something that he never had. Once he heard Karen get out of the shower he headed upstairs. She was standing in his room in a t-shirt blow drying her hair.

He pulled his suit out of the closet and began to get dressed. He went into the bathroom to put something in his hair. Karen had bought him mousse and told him to use it so that his hair didn't look so "sloppy". When he went back into his room Karen was sitting on his bed slipping on some high heels. She had on a silky dark green dress. Her hair was twisted up off her neck. She was beautiful, Jim thought as she stood up and walked towards him.

"_You clean up nicely Halpert." _she said with a smile.

"_Do I pass?" _Jim asked straightening his tie.

"_Definitely…" _she said kissing him softly.

"_You look great." _he said and was pleased that the comment elicited a genuine smile from her.

"_Thank you. Are you ready?"_

"_Yeah."_ he helped her on with her coat and they headed down to his car.

"_This will be fun!" _Karen said settling into the passenger seat.

"_Mmm hmmm…" _Jim muttered as once again his mind was somewhere else.

He had butterflies in his stomach as Karen grabbed his arm and they walked in to the church. He quickly scanned the rows of people, but she was no where in sight. He let Karen lead him to a row and they sat down next to Stanley and his wife. After brief hello's he turned slightly to see if she had come in. He waved to Kevin and his fiancé Stacey and saw Kelly drag a flustered Ryan into the row behind him. He glance at his watch, 4:58. The wedding was to start in two minutes. Maybe she wasn't coming. He had turned back to Karen when he heard Kelly exclaim, _"Oh my God!"_

He turned his head to see Pam walking up the isle and slide into the row across from him, gently guided by a hand on her back belonging to a tall, good looking guy in a black suit. He felt as if his throat had been closed off from oxygen.

"_Wow…" _Karen said. _"Who is that with Pam? He is gorgeous." _He watched as the guy leaned close to Pam and whispered something in her ear and then his heart stopped as his eyes caught hers across the aisle. Instinctively he grabbed Karen's hand and felt like the biggest ass in the world as Pam's face flushed slightly and she looked away.

The music began to play and everyone stood and Jim cast another glance in Pam's direction. She had her head turned towards the back door, her soft curls falling over her shoulder. How the hell was he supposed to get over her when she looked so damn beautiful, he thought as the doors opened and Phyllis appeared accompanied by her father…and Michael. He had to stifle a laugh and suddenly he felt her eyes on him. She had laughter in her eyes and he offered her a small smile. She smiled back, but quickly looked away again.

The ceremony was nice…except for a few interruptions from Michael, but that was to be expected when you invite him to be in your wedding party. Karen had hold of his hand the whole time, but that didn't stop him from casting sideways glances at Pam. Once he caught the eye of the guy that she was with and cringed as the guy responded by draping his arm across Pam's shoulders.

Neither Pam and Jim listened to the ceremony. Jim was too busy trying to figure out who this guy that Pam brought was and trying to catch her eye when he should've been paying more attention to his girlfriend. Pam, on the other hand, felt good about her and Aidan's entrance. For a moment she thought she was being mean to Jim but then she thought back to when he transferred back from Stamford and his coldness to her and her sympathy dissipated. She had to do this if she was going to move on. After all, didn't Jim move on?

When the ceremony was over Jim watched as the mystery guy took Pam by the hand and gently led her out of the church. He felt his heart begin to crack as he watched them leave and then he knew. She had moved on and now he had to as well.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aidan opened the car door for Pam and she slid carefully into the passenger seat. He got inside the car Pam turned to him and asked, _"Why are you helping me like this?"_

Aidan turned to face her, _"Because, if Jim sees us like this, maybe it will light a fire under his ass and he'll finally come to his senses and ask you out."_

Pam sighed, _"He did ask me out for coffee yesterday."_

"_He did? What did you say?"_

"_I told him it wasn't a good idea." _Pam said quietly nervously twisting her fingers in her lap.

"_What? Why not?"_

"_I don't know…." _Pam trailed off. The only problem was that Pam did know. She didn't trust herself and she didn't want to cause any problems between Jim and Karen. She wanted Jim to finally be happy for once after all the pain that she had caused him.

"_Well…" _Aidan said starting the car. _"We're going to have to fix this."_

"_Fix it? How?"_

"_You're going to have to ask him to dance…keep trying."_

"_What? I couldn't do that."_ Pam said

"_Why not? Why are you so nervous? It's not like he's going to say no." _Aidan smiled as he pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the VA hall for the reception.

"_He has a girlfriend." _Pam said.

"_That may be true…for now…" _Aidan said. _"…But I saw the way he looked at you when you walked in today. No guy looks at a girl like that unless there is something there."_

Pam didn't respond. She just stared out the window silently.

"_I mean I don't mean to get all Olivia Newton-John on you, but the man is in love with you. You should have seen the way he was looking at me…I was nervous for a minute there."_ Aidan paused for a moment, then added, "_I feel bad for you."_

"_Why?"_ Pam asked turning back to him.

"_Because if you ever decide to date someone **seriously**," _Aidan winked. _"Jim is going to kick their ass."_

Pam laughed and then looked back out the window. _"It might be too late."_

"_Trust me. It's not too late." _

Pam took hold of Aidan's arm when the walked into the reception hall. _"Oh geez…" _Pam said when she saw the big flower arrangement with P and R scrolled on the front.

"_What?" _Aidan asked.

Pam rolled her eyes. _"It's nothing…it's just…that's the same flower arrangement I had picked…for my wedding."_ Pam, Natalee and Aidan had had a good laugh about the wedding invites being the same and Natalee had joked that Phyllis should pay Pam commission for planning her wedding for her.

"_No way…" _Aidan began to laugh when he looked up and saw Jim and Karen walk in. He quickly leaned down closer to Pam. _"He's here…" _he whispered in her ear.

Pam smiled and leaned her body a bit closer to his.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hair on Jim's neck prickled as he walked into the reception hall and saw Pam standing there, her hand resting lightly on the bicep of the guy from the wedding. He felt jealousy begin to boil inside of him as he saw the man lean down and whisper in her ear and then watched as her face broke into a smile. He wrapped his arm around Karen and pulled her close to him. She looked up at him, surprised, but said nothing. He watched as Pam and the guy walked towards a table and sat down. He felt as if he was going to throw up when he found his name card and saw that he and Karen were sitting at the same table. "What the hell did I do in my previous life to deserve this shit?" he thought as Karen pulled him to the table. He saw the look on Pam's face as they approached. She was as shocked as he was.

"_Hi Pam." _Karen said lightly taking off her jacket and setting her purse on the table.

"_Hi…Karen…" _Pam said.

Aidan stood up and extended his hand. _"Hi…I am Aidan."_

"_I'm Karen…nice to meet you!"_

Aidan smiled and turned to Jim. Jim stared at him for a moment and then grasped his hand firmly.

"_Jim…" _he said curtly.

"_Nice to meet you both." _Aidan sat back down and then slung his arm over the back of Pam's chair. _"How do you two know the happy couple?"_

Jim wanted to punch the guy in the face. Sure he was nice enough, but here he was his arm around Pam and it was just another reminder that he would never have her.

"_We work with Phyllis…at Dunder Mifflin. Where Pam used to work." _Karen said taking out her cell phone.

"_Oh that's great." _Aidan said trying to hide a smile due to the fact that Jim had not taken his eyes off of Pam the entire time.

"_What do you do Aidan?" _Karen asked in between text messages.

"_I am a PR executive for GAP incorporated."_

"_Oh wow. That sounds great." _Karen glanced over at Jim and saw the intense look on his face.

"_It is…keeps me busy. Not too busy though." _Aidan said pulling Pam a little closer.

Pam wanted to laugh. Aidan was playing this off perfectly. It was then that she saw the look on Jim's face and began to feel like a total bitch. He was mad…hurt…confused. Truly all she had wanted to do was send him the sign that he could move on, but that was clearly not what was happening.

She sifted slightly in her chair and as if on cue Aidan let his arm drop to the side. He turned to Pam. _"Do you want something to drink?"_

"_Yes, please…anything is fine." _she said smiling at him gratefully.

"_Jim?" _Karen asked not looking up from her phone. "_Get me a rum and coke please."_

"_Um…okay."_ Jim stood up and followed Aidan to the bar.

"_So you work at Dunder Mifflin?" _Aidan asked while they waited at the bar for the drinks.

"_Yeah…" _Jim said through gritted teeth.

"_That sounds great. Pam said it was a good place to work."_

"_It has it's moments." _Jim thought that he would rather stick toothpicks in his eye than stand here and talk to Pam's new boyfriend, but he didn't see any around. Jim wasn't normally a guy that looked for trouble. He had only been in one fight in his life and that was in 5th grade. He didn't know why he had such an instant dislike for the guy. He was nice, but he was just another person that had the one thing he wanted more than anything. They stood in silence for a minute. Jim kept glancing over at Aidan, trying to figure out the kinks in his armor. Finally he turned to him and asked, _"How well do you know Pam?"_

Aidan smiled. This was what he was waiting for. _"Oh, we know each other pretty well. She is a great girl. Lots of fun to hang around with."_

Jim stiffened. Making small talk with this guy was going to be harder than he thought.

"_So you know her from work?" _Aidan asked.

"_Well that and she's my best friend…." _Jim blurted out and then paused. "_Well used to be anyways."_

Aidan looked at him curiously, "_Used to be?"_

Jim nodded as the bartender handed him the drinks. _"People change…._" he said softly. _"Sometimes for the worse. Sometimes for the better, which is what Pam did."_

"_I am lucky to have her in my life." _Aidan took his drinks from bartender. _"Well it was nice talking with you Jim." _

Jim watched as he walked back to Pam and handed her the drink.

"_So Aidan, tell me about your job. It sounds so interesting." _Karen said.

Pam stared at her for a moment. Was she flirting? In front of Jim. She glanced at Jim, but he was staring at the table cloth and didn't seem to notice.

"_Well…." _Aidan said. _"Basically I work under the head of public relations for the entire company. I write up news statements for the media, comment on a potential scandal, make sure the company looks its best at all times. So, basically, I'm a spin doctor."_

"_Wow! That sounds awesome. I bet you get to see a lot of cool places." _Karen said sipping her drink.

"_It has it's perks." _Aidan turned to Pam and smiled. _"I work mainly out of Boston, but I am in New York a lot."_

"_Oh I love Boston!" _Karen turned to Jim. _"We should go to Boston soon Jim!"_

"_Boston is overrated." _Jim grumbled taking a long drink.

They all sat in silence for awhile sipping their drinks and watching people dance. Eventually Phyllis and Bob Vance made their way over to the table.

"_Pam! You look fantastic!" _Phyllis said.

"_Thank you. I **love** your dress." _Pam said with a glance at Aidan. He covered his mouth with his hand to stifle a laugh. Jim glared at him.

"_Thank you!" _Phyllis said.

"_You really do look beautiful Phyllis." _Pam said genuinely. Even though Phyllis had stolen all of her wedding ideas, Pam realized that it didn't matter. They were all ideas for a wedding that had never happened and Phyllis did look beautiful.

"_Who is your…friend?" _Phyllis asked with a smile.

"_Oh sorry…" _Pam said. _"This is Aidan. Aidan this is Phyllis and Bob."_

"_Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration." _Bob said sticking out his hand.

"_It's a pleasure to meet you both." _Aidan said. "_It was a beautiful wedding."_

"_Thank you!"_ Phyllis said with sounding pleased. _"Pam…this is a good one!"_

Jim took another long drink from his glass. This was going to be a long night. He shifted in his chair and took a deep breath to try and relax. They were all startled by a loud squeal that could only belong to one person.

"_Oh My God Pam!" _Kelly ran up to their table dragging Ryan a long behind her. _"Your dress looks fabulous! I saw one just like it in US weekly!" _She stopped to take a breath and then looked at Aidan._ "You two look sooooo sweet together! You will have the prettiest babies with each other." _Aidan cast Pam an amused look. She had warned him about Kelly.

Jim couldn't take it anymore. He pushed his chair back from the table loudly eliciting stares from everyone. He turned to Karen and held out his hand. _"Lets go dance."_

"_Okay!"_ she said happily.

Phyllis and Bob chatted with Pam a few more minutes before moving on to the next table. Once they had left Pam sat back down and Aidan pulled his chair closer to her.

"_Wow…." _Pam said. _"I can't believe I'm making you suffer through this!"_

"_It's fine."_ Aidan smiled. _"Pam…seriously though. That guy is hopelessly in love with you. I was scared he was going to stab me with a sharp instrument from the bar."_

"_Oh stop."_ Pam laughed.

"_I'm serious! You didn't notice the way he's been looking at me all night. I thought that was bad and then we actually spoke to each other. I felt like I should've bundled up or something. The guy was cold to me. You did what you set out to do, you made him jealous."_

Pam sighed. _"Doesn't feel exactly like I thought it would." _she said her eyes beginning to glisten with tears.

"_I know…" _Aidan said softly and pulled Pam into a gentle hug.

Jim looked up just in time to see Aidan wrap his arms around Pam. He felt a lump form in his throat and he was embarrassed by the fact that he could feel his eyes filling with tears. He quickly blinked them away before Karen could notice.

After a couple of songs Karen led him back to the table. She immediately took out her phone and started texting some more. Jim was grateful that Oscar came over to talk to him so that he wouldn't have to watch Pam and Aidan who were engaged in a deep, whispered discussion. When he finally looked in their direction again they had left and gone onto the dance floor. Jim tried to be interested in Oscar's story, but his eyes kept drifting over to them dancing. He had only seen Pam dance a couple of times, but he thought that she was the cutest dancer he had ever seen. He loved the fact that she wasn't all flashy about it, but she always looked like she was having fun.

Eventually Pam and Aidan made their way back to the table. Pam sat down, her cheeks flushed from dancing. Karen tried to make small talk again with Aidan, but was interrupted when her phone rang…loudly.

"_Oh sorry!" _she said_. "I have to take this." _She stood up and hurried out of the room. Aidan saw this as an opportunity. He leaned close to Pam and whispered in her ear. _"Ask him…now." _Then he stood up and said, "_If you'll excuse me, I have to use the restroom."_

Jim wouldn't look at her. He just kept his eyes glued to the door that Karen had disappeared out of. Pam knew this was her chance…maybe her only chance. She shifted in her chair and then lightly cleared her throat. That seemed to get his attention because he glanced at her and then quickly looked away again.

"_Jim…" _she said softly. After a long minute he finally turned towards her.

"_Do you want to dance?" _she asked as a slow song started in the background.

He just looked at her for a minute. A heartbreaking look. She took a deep breath. Finally without saying a word he stood up, walked around to her side of the table and held out his hand. She smiled and took it, a chill suddenly running through her body. He gently led her out onto the dance floor. She rested her hands on his broad shoulders and he lightly placed his hands on her waist. She could tell he was being careful, that he was afraid of what this meant. He moved her slowly to the beat of the music. The heat of his hands seared through her dress. She leaned a little bit closer to him and he slid his hands a little farther around her. She was close enough that she could smell his cologne and he smelled just like she always thought he would. She wondered if he could tell that her heart was beating a million miles an hour, threatening to burst out of her chest at what she was feeling at that moment. She finally dared to look up at him and almost went weak in the knees to see that he was gazing down at her intently, almost as if he was waiting, hoping that she would say something. She knew he had already opened his heart enough. Now it was her turn. She hoped that he couldn't feel her trembling, but almost as if in an attempt to reassure her his hands slid farther around her waist and he pulled her slightly closer.

"_Jim…I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."_

He didn't speak. Just waited for her to continue.

"_I am sorry for so many things. The reason that I didn't go to get coffee with you is because…I thought…"_ she could feel her voice wavering, but she continued. _"I just…I didn't trust myself. I know that you are in a relationship….and I really just want you to be happy…with whoever that may be…even if it isn't me." _Their eyes locked and she continued. _"You were my best friend before you went to Stamford and I really missed you. I just…I really miss you."_

The song ended and another started, but he didn't let go of her. Finally he spoke.

"_Pam…" _his voice was thick and deep, almost like it had been **that **night. _"I…I've missed you too. Really. More than you know. It's just…I left because I wanted to be…not here. I couldn't take it anymore. I can't go back to that. There is just so much…I just don't think I can do this anymore." _

"_I know…." Pam said softly. "I know."_

They didn't speak again, just held on to each other. Every so often she would look up at him and their eyes would meet and her heart would flutter. Tears began to fill her eyes again. She knew that soon this Cinderella moment would be over. He noticed the glisten in her eyes and carefully reached up and touched her cheek. She just sniffled and shook her head. He wrapped both arms tighter around her and leaned down so that his cheek brushed against her soft hair. He wanted to hold her forever, wanted to tell her that he was in love with her and that he wanted to try again, but the wall he had carefully constructed around his heart wasn't going to crumble that easily. It was then that he lifted his head and his eyes locked….with Karen's. She was standing by the bar, her phone in one hand, just staring at them. He quickly straightened up and released his grip on Pam. She looked in the direction that he was, saw Karen and quickly let go of him. Luckily she saw Aidan standing off to the side. She looked at Jim once more and whispered, _"I'm sorry." _before hurrying off leaving Jim standing in the middle of the dance floor, hands hanging limply by his sides. He couldn't look at Karen when she came to stand next to him.

"_Did you have a good dance?" _she asked sarcastically.

"_Karen….don't." _he said softly.

Karen had stopped in her tracks when she reentered the reception hall, her eyes glued on the image in front of her. She saw Jim, moving slowly, arms wrapped around Pam, a look on his face that Karen had never seen before. She saw Pam look up at him and her heart dropped into her knees. He was in love with her. She could see it in his eyes, even from across the room. She couldn't believe that she had never seen it before. The changes in Jim that she had seen over the past couple months were because of Pam. Karen knew that he had never once looked at her the way that he was looking at Pam right now.

"_I need a drink." _Karen said.

"_Fine…" _without another word Jim walked towards the bar leaving Karen standing on the dance floor.

Aidan had watched Pam ask Jim to dance. He had watched the tender way that Jim had put his arms around her. He was happy, proud of Pam for actually doing it. He opened his phone and sent a quick text to Natalee, She's dancing with him. However, shortly after he looked up again and saw both Jim and Pam looking across the room…at Karen. Pam quickly let go of Jim and hurried towards Aidan, tears beginning to slowly make their way down her cheeks.

"_Lets go." _she said quietly.

"_Okay." _Aidan said. He went to the table, grabbed their coats and led Pam out of the room. Her head was bowed and the tears were coming faster.

Jim was standing on the bar trying to control the throbbing in his chest, but it just worsened when he saw her hurry out, with Aidan. It took every ounce of self control he had to not go after her, grab her and kiss her. He wanted to be the one to stop her tears, but instead he stayed at the bar, grateful for the momentary happiness but coming to the crushing realization that that their dance, the one they've done for years, was only fleeting and would never last.


	11. Chapter 11

\/p>

-1Pam was silent the entire ride back to the hotel. Tears had been trickling down her cheeks at first, but now she just sat rigid and silent. Aidan knew better than to say something to her. Nothing he could say would fill the emptiness that she was feeling. 

He followed close behind her as she made her way to the elevator and then down the hall to her room. He could hear Natalee and Kate laughing as he took the key from Pam's hand and slipped it into the lock. Their laughter stopped when they saw Pam's face.

"_Pam?" _Kate asked nervously while Natalee cast a questioning glace at Aidan. Pam said nothing, she just walked into the bathroom and closed the door. 

"_Call me…if there's something we can do…or for anything_." Natalee whispered to Kate as her and Aidan slipped out of the room.

Kate nodded and then went over to the bathroom door. _"Pam?" _she asked knocking softly. Pam didn't answer, so Kate carefully pushed open the door. Pam was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, her head in her hands.

"_Hey…." _Kate said sitting down next to her sister.

After what seemed like forever Pam looked at her, her eyes red and puffy. Kate wrapped her arms around Pam.

"_It's over…" _Pam her voice catching in her throatThen she leaned her head against Kate's shoulder and began to cry. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam woke up to see Kate sitting in a chair next to the bed reading a magazine.

"_Hey…" _Pam said sitting up. _"What time is it?"_

"_It's quarter after 9. How are you doing?"_

"_I'm okay."_ Pam said standing up and heading towards the bathroom.

After taking a shower, Pam dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, pulled her hair back into a ponytail and went back out where Kate was still sitting in the chair. 

"_Want to go get some breakfast?" _Pam asked slipping on her shoes.

"_Um…sure…but don't you want to talk…or anything?"_

"_There is nothing to talk about Kate. It's over. He has moved on and it is really time that I do the same."_

"_Pam…." _Kate said going to stand in front of Pam. _"Come on…."_

"_I really….really don't want to talk about it." _Pam said resolutely. _"Please…not now." _She was almost pleading. 

"_Okay…" _Kate said grabbing her purse. _"Where do you want to go."_

"_Anywhere with pancakes."_ Pam said with a feeble smile.

Natalee had left a message with the front desk telling them that Aidan had to get back to the city to prepare for a meeting, but they would see Pam when she got back to New York. After breakfast, they returned to the hotel and packed.

Kate stood on the sidewalk while Pam put her bags in her car. She was seriously worried about her sister. She had never seen her like this…not even when she broke off the wedding.

"_Are you sure you're okay to drive?" _Kate asked.

"_Yeah…I'll be fine. I need to get back. Get some stuff ready for tomorrow."_

"_Okay. Well call me as soon as you get home."_

"_I will. Thanks for everything Kate. I'll talk to you soon okay?" _Pam hugged her sister tightly.

"_I love you Pam. Call me…if you need anything."_

"_I will. I love you too. Bye" _

Kate waved as Pam climbed into her car and drove off. Kate knew this wasn't okay. She had to do something. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natalee was waiting on the couch when Pam got home.

"_Hey…" _she said with concern. _"I was worried about you. Was your drive okay?"_

"_Yeah…it was fine." _Pam said taking her suitcases to her room.

"_Are you okay?" _Natalee said following her and leaning against her door frame.

"_Not really….but I will be. Aidan probably thinks I am a mess."_

"_Not at all. He's worried about you too."_

"_I'll be okay…I just need…I don't know what I need. I think I'm going to take a nap. Do you want to grab some dinner later?" _Pam asked kicking off her shoes.

"_Definitely…are you sure you don't want to talk…or anything."_

"_Not right now." _Pam said laying down on her bed.

"_Okay…I'll be here if you need anything." _

"_Thanks…" _Pam mumbled rolling over and shutting her eyes.

It was about 4:30 by the time that Pam woke up. She stood up and stretched and then slowly opened the door to her room. Natalee and Aidan were sitting on the couch watching TV.

"_Hey…" _Pam said walking out and sitting down in a chair.

"_Hey!" _both Natalee and Aidan said together.

"_What are you guys watching?"_

"_Oh just some dumb TV movie. How was your nap?" _Natalee asked.

"_Good. Hey Aidan…thanks a lot for last night. It really helped having you there. I'm sorry about…everything."_

"_Pam…" _Aidan said seriously. _"Don't even worry about it. I am glad I could be there."_

"_Well I really appreciate it." _ Pam took a long pause. _"Are you guys hungry, because I am starving."_

"_Yeah…where do you want to go?"_ Natalee asked.

"_Anywhere is fine. Let me just change really quick." _Pam stood up and went back into her room, not seeing the concerned look exchanged between Natalee and Aidan.

After dinner Pam sat on the couch with Natalee watching TV, but her mind was clearly somewhere else. She went to bed early. Once she had disappeared into her room Natalee pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed a number.

"_Kate…it's me."_

"_Hey. How is she doing?"_

"_I don't know. She slept all afternoon, then we had dinner and she just went back to bed."_

"_Oh geez. Look I am going to take care of it. Just try to keep her busy…I guess."_

"_I will. Bye."_

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Jim had arrived at work early the next morning, desperate to do anything to keep his mind occupied. He and Karen had left soon after Pam and Aidan because Karen told him that they needed to talk. He had slept most of Sunday and now he was wide awake and in need of doing something, anything, but sit and think.

He organized his desk and filed some papers and was in the process of e-mail some leads by the time anyone else showed up in the office.

"_Do not think I don't know what you're trying to do Jim."_ Dwight said as he slid into his desk.

"_What am I trying to do?" _Jim asked.

"_You are clearly threatened by my sales skill and you think that if you come in early you'll get a head start. Well let me tell you something…you will never be as good as me Jim. Never."_

"_Good to know Dwight." _Jim said not taking his eyes off his computer. Dwight shot him a look and immediately got to work.

Jim went and got some coffee and returned to his desk just in time to see Karen hurry past. She went right to her desk, threw some things in a box, grabbed some files and hurried back out, pushing against Michael in the process.

"_Geez." _Michael said coming up to lean against Jim's desk. _"Women and their cycles. I swear. It's like the Heckyl and Jide book. Take my advice. Stay away from her for at least a week. That's what I've learned from my girlfriend…Jan."_

"_Well that shouldn't be a problem. We're not together anymore." _Jim blurted out before realizing who he was talking too. 

"_What? Jim! Do you want to talk about it? Want to go to lunch? My treat. I can help you through this."_

Jim sighed. _"No Michael…I really don't want to talk about it. Please."_ He must have said it in a tone so serious that Michael actually took a hint and with a shrug walked away. 

The rest of the morning went by smoothly. Michael stayed in his office and Dwight only said five annoying things. He was about to go into the break room for lunch when his phone rang.

"_Jim Halpert…"_

"_Um….hi."_ said the voice on the other end. He could have sworn it was Pam.

"_Who is this?"_

"_Sorry…um…this is kind of weird. My name is Kate…Beesly. I'm Pam's sister."_

Jim was silent for a moment. When he finally snapped out of his trance his first thought was that something had happened to Pam.

"_Hi." _he said again. _"Is everything okay?"_

"_Yeah…well kind of. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called."_

"_No…wait…"_ he said softly. 

"_Ok well…the only reason why I called is that I think you should talk to Pam."_

"_I…."_ Jim faltered.

"_Please…I mean if you can. I know that she's had plenty of chances…I just…"_

"_I know…I understand." _Jim said.

"_Thanks…again…I'm sorry I called."_

"_No…don't be sorry. I'm glad you did."_

"_Bye Jim."_

Then the line went dead. Jim sat for a moment staring at the receiver. Then without thinking he quickly opened a new e-mail and typed in Pam's address.

_**Dear Pam,**_

_**I just wanted to tell you thank you for the dance. It meant a lot. **_

_**I also wanted to tell you that Karen and I broke up. It never would have worked out in the end. I couldn't give her everything. Anyways, I hope your well and I hope to hear from you soon. **_

_**Jim**_

He quickly sent the e-mail and then retreated to the break room. Sitting at the table with his ham and cheese he finally thought back to the night before.

They had left shortly after he saw Pam and Aidan leave. He opened the door for Karen and before he could close it she slammed it as hard as she could. They didn't talk the entire ride to his house, just sat in stony silence. When they had pulled into his driveway he turned off the engine, but neither of them made a move to get out of the car. After what seemed like an eternity Karen spoke.

"_I am such an idiot." _she said softly.

"_Karen…"_

"_Let me finish." _she snapped. _"I had no idea. How could I not know? How could I have never figured it out? I mean I'm smart. I went to college, got a degree and yet here I am. I moved here from Connecticut on a whim, for a guy I was seriously falling for, but who I really didn't know. How could I have never put it together. I mean you started acting all weird right after she left and like the idiot I am I bought your story about how you were just upset that she didn't say goodbye to anyone. I am such an idiot."_

Jim waited to see if he could speak. When she didn't continue he took a deep breath and said, _"You're not an idiot Karen. I really was glad that you moved here. There is nothing with Pam. Truthfully, there never really was."_

"_Don't lie to me Jim. I have been wishing for months that you would look at me for a second the way that I saw you looking at her. That's not nothing Jim. Did you guys date?"_

"_No…we didn't." _ Jim said.

"_Well? A look like that doesn't mean nothing Jim. You want a chance to be honest. Here it is."_

Jim hesitated for a few minutes. _"Look…before I went to Stamford, I had a crush on her. I told her about it and she didn't feel the same way. I kissed her and she still turned me down. So I left."_

Karen shook her head. _"A crush? That is bullshit Jim and you know it. You don't look at someone like that that you just had a crush on. Jim…tell me the truth. You owe me that."_

"_Fine…you want the truth?"_ Jim could feel himself start to get mad. He didn't want to, especially not at her because none of this was really her fault. _"The truth is that I was in love with her. I loved her. I loved her for years and I told her and she ripped my heart out. Is that what you wanted to hear? Huh? Does that make you feel better knowing that?" Jim was shaking as he dropped his head._

"_You **were** in love with her? Or you are **still** in love with her. Because based off of what I saw tonight…looks like the feeling is still there…and that it's mutual."_

Jim looked over at her, the tears in his eyes made her hurt inside. _"Karen…I am so sorry. I didn't want this. Really."_

After several moments Karen sighed. _"I know Jim. I'm sorry too. I hope you find what you're looking for."_ She reached over and lightly touched his arm, _"Goodbye Jim." _Then she climbed out of his car, got into hers and was gone.

He sat in his car, head resting on the steering wheel for over an hour. How had it come to this. A year ago they were laughing over pranks on Dwight and sharing coke in the break room. Now he was sitting in his driveway heartbroken, again, and alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam kicked her shoes off in the corner of her room and sat down in the desk chair to check her e-mail. She had sent her logo ideas to Michael and she was surprised at how nervous she was while she waited to hear back. 

Her heart dropped when she saw his name in he inbox. She blinked to make sure she wasn't imagining it. She quickly clicked on the email and began to read. It was short, but it said enough. She smiled as tears streamed down her face. She couldn't believe what she was reading. She hit reply and began to type back a response. 

_**Jim,**_

_**Hi. I am sorry about you and Karen. I really hope that the dance didn't cause any problems and if it did, I am really sorry. **_

_**If you need anyone to talk to, just know that I am here. I may not be in Scranton but I'm only a call or an email away. Hope to hear from you soon.**_

_**Pam**_

It wasn't until after the email was sent that she realized that she may of misinterpreted what he was saying. All he said was that he had Karen had broken up. He didn't say anything that hinted to him still having feelings for her. Maybe he was just looking for a way to rekindle their friendship. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim was feeling something he hadn't felt in weeks, months even. He was feeling a strange sense of calm. He was relieved that he was no longer treating Karen the way he had been because that just wasn't who he was. He was happy that he had e-mailed Pam and somehow he just knew that she was going to e-mail him back. The phone call from her sister had done something to him. The memory of the night of Phyllis's wedding wasn't really one that he wanted to store in his mind, except for one part. He could still smell her hair, feel the softness of is against his cheek as they danced. He remembered the feel of her hands on his shoulders and the heat that flushed his face as she looked up at him. He had come home from work and gone out for a bite with Mark. Now he was sitting in a pair of faded blue plaid pajama pants and a well worn gray Penn State t-shirt, waiting impatiently for his computer to load. His stomach twisted in anticipation, trying to prepare himself to see no new emails. He almost jumped out of his chair when he saw her name in his inbox. He really wanted not to read into something that wasn't there, so he didn't respond right away. Instead he put on some running shoes and went for a really long run. Once he was back he ran his hand through his hair and opened a new e-mail.

**Pam,**

**I am glad that you wrote back. Did you have a good day? Dwight decided that today would be a good day clean out the file box next to his desk and when he wasn't looking I kept switching the piles around. He looked so confused and finally gave up. I knew that of all people you would appreciate that. **

**Pam, don't worry about what happened with Karen. It needed to happen and it had nothing to do with the dance or anything else about you. I just hope that you and Aidan can find the kind of happiness that you deserve, because you deserve something great. **

**Hope to talk to you soon,**

**Jim**

He read the e-mail over a couple of times before hitting send. Then he went to bed and for the first time in a long time slept soundly. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam woke up early the next morning and made herself some tea. She didn't want to check her e-mail for fear that it would empty. She kept walking into her room and staring at her computer and then walking back out. She took a shower and got dressed. Then in an effort to keep herself busy she made breakfast for herself and Natalee.

"_Well aren't you just a regular Betty Crocker." _Natalee said when she came out of her room and looked at the huge spread of eggs, bacon, toast, fruit and waffles that Pam had laid out on the table.

"_I think I went a little overboard." _Pam laughed.

Natalee was happy to see Pam smile again. They still had not talked about what happened the night of Phyllis's wedding, but Natalee could see a change in Pam's disposition, small as it may be. 

Pam waited until her lunch break before she finally sat down at a computer and opened her e-mail. She smiled as she read his e-mail, that is until she got to the part about Aidan. Then her smile slowly dropped from her face. She had forgotten about that. She knew that neither one of them had come right out and said that they were a couple, but she knew that was how Jim took it…that was how she had intended it. She knew she was going to have to tell him the truth.

_**Jim,**_

_**Before I say anything else I have to tell you something. Now you have every right to be mad and if you don't write back for awhile I will completely understand. Aidan and I aren't a couple. He is actually my roommates fiancé. I'm sorry. I know how it looked. I asked him to come with me because, honestly I couldn't bear the thought of watching you with Karen and not having someone there with me, just as a support. Again, I am sorry. I just wanted to tell you.**_

_**Pam**_

_**p.s. Thanks for telling me about Dwight. Some day you'll have to write a book. No one will believe it otherwise.**_

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim sat staring at his computer screen. He was sitting out on his back deck while Mark was shouting from inside at a ball game on TV. His first reaction was to feel relieved. Then he began feel like a total moron for the way that he had acted towards Aidan. He thought that he would be mad, but then he realized that he was part to blame since he just assumed that they were a couple, he never actually had any proof.

_**Pam,**_

_**Well, I'll just start off saying that I'm not mad. Since you were honest with me I will be honest with you. I am actually really relieved to hear that you are not a couple. However, I feel like a total jerk for the way I reacted to him. He does seem like a nice guy. Don't be sorry though. We've both done a lot these past months that we could be sorry for, but we need to move on. **_

_**How is the internship going? Tell me about your fancy new apartment. This one has 3 kitchens right? I mean it is in New York. Everything is fancier in New York.**_

_**Jim **_

_**p.s. Just in case: 570-555-1020**_

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Jim,**_

_**Still only one kitchen, surprisingly. I was disappointed at first, but I've gotten used to it. We do have a great view of the Hudson river though. And a door man. It is pretty fancy. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I can't believe it's real. It will be a big change when I come back to Scranton and have to find an apartment that has a view of…nothing. **_

_**Thank you for understanding about Aidan. He is a nice guy and happily engaged to my roommate. Her name is Natalee. She is the total opposite of me. Tall, brunette, gorgeous, talented, sophisticated. We get a long really well. She had been showing me some of the finer points of living in a big city. **_

_**How is work? Did Dwight do anything extra "Dwight" like today? Wait, what am I thinking. It's Dwight. **_

_**Pam**_

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_**Pam,**_

_**I can't believe that even in a thriving city like New York you only have one kitchen. I wouldn't settle for anything less than three, but that's just me. I have high expectations of my living arrangements. Speaking of which, earlier Mark mentioned getting a futon. I told him I don't think I could handle that. He asked why and I said, Michael. He understood after that.**_

_**You think you'll move back to Scranton after this? I thought you'd stay there. Get a fancy new job and a fancy apartment of your own. **_

_**Speaking of coming back to Scranton, what were you doing with Jan and Michael? Relationship counseling?**_

_**Jim**_

Jim smiled as he hit send. It felt so good to have the beginning of his friendship with Pam back. Their e-mails were simple, friendly…nothing too deep. He closed his laptop and laid down on his bed. His eyes closed and he was almost asleep when a ringing sound jolted him awake. He grabbed his cell phone off his desk and looked at the front. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he saw her name, Pam, flash on the screen. He quickly flipped open the phone.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hi."_ It was amazing what just the sound of her voice did to him. _"Did I wake you?"_

"_No...no. I actually was just sending you another e-mail."_

"_Oh, good."_

"_What are you doing?" _ he asked stretching back out on his bed.

"_Nothing. Just sitting out on the balcony."_

"_What? It's almost midnight. Aren't you freezing?"_

"_I have a sweater…and a blanket…and mittens on." _she laughed.

"_I guess that makes it a little better." he said with a smile. "What do you have going on tomorrow?"_

"_Tomorrow we go to the Met. They are actually getting ready for a big show so we are in charge of getting all the pieces ready and in order so that they can be displayed. It's actually a lot of work. More than I thought."_

'_That sounds great. Are you enjoying it?"_

"_So much. I've learned a ton. It's great."_

"_I'm glad Pam."_ he tried to stifle a yawn.

"_I better let you get to bed." _Pam said. _"It's late. Can I call you tomorrow?"_

"_Absolutely. That'd be great." _Jim couldn't stop smiling.

"_Ok…I will talk to you then. Bye Jim."_

"_Bye Pam."_

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pam flipped her phone shut and then pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders made her way back inside. Natalee was sitting on the couch drawing. She looked up as Pam walked back in.

"_What's up?" _she asked noticing the huge smile on Pam's face.

"_Everything is going to be okay." _Pam said. _"Goodnight!" _

Natalee smiled as she watched Pam walk into he bedroom shut the door. Finally, it was going to be okay. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jim talked to Pam on the phone every night after that. Usually their conversations were short and simple. Nothing too complex or deep. They also continued sending e-mails back and forth. Just tidbits about their day. Jim would keep Pam filled in on the insanity that came with working with Michael and Dwight and she told him all about the art show she was working on. Despite the happiness they both felt at this chance to reconnect their friendship they both knew it was only a matter of time before they would have to have some more serious conversations.

Friday after work Pam was sitting out on the balcony with a cup of tea and her sketch book. She was finishing the drawing of the skyline when her cell phone rang.

"_Hi." _she said smiling into the phone.

"_Hey. How are you?"_

"_I'm good. How are you?"_

"_Tired. Glad it's Friday. What are your plans for this weekend?"_

"_I don't have any. Natalee is going to some fancy business dinner thing with Aidan tonight so I am left here. I will probably watch a movie and go to bed! I lead an exciting life."_

"_Sounds like it." _Jim laughed.

"_What about you? Anything planned?"_

"_Well I am actually going to dinner with my brother and mom and dad tonight."_

"_That sounds fun. What about tomorrow?"_

"_Nothing…games and sleep probably. You're not the only one that leads an exciting life."_

"_I guess not. I am going to central park tomorrow. There is this great pond, Turtle Pond it's called, that I wanted to go sketch."_

"_Wow that sounds really fun." _

"_Yeah. It should be nice."_

"_Well I hate to cut this short, but my parents just got here. I'll talk to you tomorrow okay?"_

"_Sounds great. Bye."_

"_Bye."_

Pam did just as she had planned. She watched a movie and went to bed early. The next morning she ate some cereal and took a shower. She pulled on a pair of jeans, a pink t-shirt and her brown cable sweater. She carefully put mousse through her curls and then pulled them back into a cute ponytail. She grabbed her sketch book and put it into a canvas bag with some other art supplies. She grabbed the bag and her keys and made her way to the front door. When she threw it open and stopped short, her eyes wide with surprise.

"_Jim…" _

\/p> 


	12. Chapter 12

-1Pam stood frozen in place, one hand on the door knob the other hanging limply by her side. She blinked, just to make sure. She had to make sure that he was really there, standing in front of her.

"_Hi…" _he finally said softly.

"_Hi…" _Pam breathed. _"What…what are you doing here?"_

"_I….don't know exactly."_ Jim said with a small smile. _"I guess you were on your way out." _ he added gesturing to the bag hanging loosely in her hand.

"_Oh…well…I was going to the park." _She still couldn't believe that he was here, standing outside her door. He was wearing jeans and a white t-shirt under a long sleeved navy blue shirt. He also had on a black baseball cap, something she had never seen him in before. His hair stuck out from the bottom and she thought that she had never seen him look more adorable.

"_Look…I'm sorry. This is probably a bad idea…to just show up like this." _he said absently rubbing the slight scruff that was on his cheeks. _"I'll…I'll go. I'm sorry." _

Without thinking Pam reached out and lightly grabbed his arm. _"Don't….don't go. I'm sorry. I'm just surprised to see you here that's all. Please don't go."_ She slowly let her hand slide from his arm, but he could still feel the light pressure from her fingertips through his shirt. That small gesture made him happier than he had felt in months. He reached out and took the bag from her hand.

"_Let's go._" he said.

"_Where?" _she asked.

"_I thought you wanted to go sketch."_

"_Oh well…wouldn't you rather do something more exciting?"_

"_Nope. Let's go." _He smiled down at her.

"_Okay." _She grinned back and then pulling the door closed behind her followed him down the hall to the elevator. They didn't say anything as they waited for the elevator doors to open, but when they got inside she couldn't help but notice that he was standing a bit closer to her, his arm brushing lightly against hers. He watched with a slight smile on his face as she hailed a cab, impressed at the ease and newfound confidence he saw in her. It was a 20 minute cab ride to Central Park. The sat in silence for the first few minutes and then finally Pam turned to face him. He was looking out the window of the cab.

"_Um…" _she whispered. He turned to look at her. It was as if he had read her mind, because he smiled and then said, _"Your still wondering why I'm here aren't you?"_

Pam laughed softly. _"Kind of…I mean don't get me wrong. I'm glad you here. I'm just surprised."_

"_Me too actually."_ he paused and she waited for him to continue. "_I stayed at my brothers last night and I got up early to go home and I was driving and before I knew it I was on the freeway and then I was here. I know that sounds weird."_

"_No…not at all." _ she smiled. "_I'm really glad you came." _She shifted so that she was sitting slightly closer to him. The closeness of him, the slight fresh scent of his soap, the newness of it all had her stomach filled with butterflies. This was Jim…her friend Jim. She knew him, at one point she had been more comfortable around him than her own fiancé and yet he was making her feel as giddy and nervous as a teenage girl on her first date. She sighed happily and turned to gaze out the window.

He really didn't know quite what the reason for his sudden detour to New York City was. One minute he was driving around Dickson City, where his brother lived trying to find an open coffee shop and the next minute he was on the freeway heading towards New York City. Halfway there he realized what he was doing and almost turned around, but he wanted to see her, needed to see her and so he kept on going. He stopped just outside the city at a small gas station to ask directions, having looked up the address of the apartment on the Dunder Mifflin website weeks ago. Before he knew it he was standing outside her door. He raised his hand to knock about ten times, wondering what he would say when she opened the door. He turned around and walked halfway back to the elevator twice, before taking a deep breath and telling himself not to be such a wimp. He raised his hand once again, ready to knock, when the door flew open and there she was. He saw the look of surprise instantly on her face. His stomach dropped when she just stared at him, silently, gaping in surprise. Doubt began to cloud his mind and he knew he had made a bad choice in coming here. He turned to leave and then she stopped him. Finally, she didn't let him walk away. It was a simple act, just a light touch on the arm, but it spoke volumes. Now he was sitting with her in a cab on their way to central park and he couldn't remember the last time he had felt like this, so relaxed and so content. He could feel the heat of her body next to his. He could smell her shampoo and feel the soft touch of her shoulder against his and he knew this was going to be a great day.

"_Wow," _Jim said as he climbed out of the cab_. "I had no idea this place was so big."_

"Yeah….I still haven't been able to see everything yet." Pam said.

Jim stretched his arms and looked around. _"Which way?" _he asked.

Pam pointed to the left and they began walking. They walked in comfortable silence for a few minutes, both unsure of what to say next. Occasionally Pam would turn glance at Jim only to catch him stealing a glance at her at the same time. He would quickly look away, but not before she caught the smile on his face. She could feel a flush stain her cheeks. She was excited, thrilled at the possibilities that stretched out before them. She wanted to let him know that she wanted this, whatever was between them, to happen. As excited as she felt somewhere hidden in the back of her mind was still the small nagging thought that perhaps it was still too late, maybe they were destined to just be friends. She  
glanced at him again, trying to read something…anything in his body language, on his face. He had shown up…out of the blue. That had to mean something Pam thought. She knew though that he had done enough for now. He had opened his heart to her more than once and she had said no. She couldn't imagine the gut wrenching pain he must have felt that night…not to mention the pain he had felt every day for all those years. She knew, kind of, what it felt like, for she had felt so miserable for the past few months, but she knew that months couldn't compare to years. She had to make it up to him. She had to let him know that this was it for her and this is what she wanted, she wanted him. Her heart began to thump loudly in her chest. She never had been good at dating and was really bad at flirting, but she had to make this different. This wasn't just some guy. This was Jim. He was her best friend, despite what might have happened in the past and she was in love him, more than she could even begin to imagine. She took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves and then moved a little bit closer to him as she walked, letting her arm brush up against him. She felt him stiffen momentarily, but then relax again. She knew that he was guarded; he had every right to be, to protect what she had broken. She knew that he was going to see if she made the first move and if anything she owed him that. She needed to prove to him that she was worth having him love her again. Before she could decide what her move would be they had reached the pond.

_"This is incredible." _Jim said looking around.

"_Isn't it? It's my favorite spot…that I've seen. I usually come here on the weekends, to draw, think…whatever."  
_  
Jim sat down on the grass, knees bent up to his chest and he casually draped his arms over his knees. Pam sat down next to him, and suddenly worried if she had sat too close, her shoulder brushing up against his elbow. She glanced at Jim to see if he even noticed, but if he did he made no acknowledgement of it. If anything she could have sworn that he  
shifted a little so that they were closer. He had set her bag next to her feet and she opened it and pulled out her sketch book. She had always been protective of her art, mostly because Roy thought it was so useless. He never really cared to see what she had drawn. She remembered one Christmas a few years back when she had asked him for some  
new art pencils. He had laughed and said he wasn't going to waste money on something stupid like that and why couldn't she be practical. Of course he had loved the "practical" game system that she had bought for him, the one that she had saved for months so that she could get the best one. She glanced down at the sketch book and thought of what it  
contained. It was like a window into her soul. She bared everything in this book, but part of her wanted Jim to see it. She wanted to share it with him because she knew it would mean something to him and that he would treat it like it was something special and important. She could feel him move so that he glanced down at the book and she could tell he wanted to ask about it, but was holding back. One paper stuck a little farther out  
of the book. She knew what picture it was. The one she had done on the roof, of the sunset over the city.

_"So…" _Jim said finally. _"Do I get to see any of the famous Beesly drawings?"_

He was so sweet, so supportive, and so kind to her. She had thought several times about sending this drawing to him, but had always been too afraid, but now she wasn't so afraid anymore.

_"I drew this a while ago." _She said pulling out the paper. _"I had actually wanted to send it to you…but I didn't know if…."_ her voice trailed off as she handed him the drawing. She began to feel nervous and avoided looking at his face, fearful of his reaction. He held the paper lightly in his hands for a long time, just looking at it. Finally, to Pam's relief, he spoke.

_"Pam…" _his voice was deep and husky, but there was a tenderness behind it that could only belong to Jim. _"This is amazing. I can't believe you drew this."  
_  
Pam began to blush. _"It's not anything great…." _she began.

_"Stop…" _Jim said finally turning to look at her.

She could have sworn she saw the glimmer of a tear in his eyes. Her whole body felt weak as he intently gazed at her. _"It __**is**__ great. It's amazing." _He leaned closer to her and her breath caught in her throat at the possibility of feeling his lips on hers. Her eyes searched his, seeing all the possibilities of what they could be…what they were hopefully going to be.

He didn't kiss her though, just leaned a bit closer and whispered, _"Thank you…."_

"You're welcome." She said breathlessly.

He turned back to look at the picture. He was quiet for a long time, so Pam opened her book to a new page and began to sketch. They sat by the pond for a while, making light conversation while Pam's pencil flew effortlessly across the page. She loved this about them. The fact that they could sit doing nothing, talking about nothing of any importance and she could still feel like she was having the most fun she'd ever have. Finally, she slipped the sketch book back into her bag and lay back on the grass. Jim lay next to her, loving how he could be this close to her, and she didn't pull away. She told him all about her internship and the nerves she felt when she started. She talked about the excitement she felt when she saw one of her completed projects. Jim loved the tone in her voice, the confidence, the happiness. She had changed so much, but at the same time she was still Pam. He told her about work and his family. She loved seeing the smile on his face when he talked about his brother or his parents. After awhile Jim glanced at his watch.

"_It's already 12:45." _he said sitting up. _"I can't believe we've just been sitting here talking for almost three hours."_

"_I know."_ Pam said sitting upright. Jim glanced at her and began to laugh.

"_What?" _she asked self-consciously.

"_Nothing…you just have…" _ instead of finishing he slowly reached up and pulled some grass from her hair. He let his fingers linger in the softness of her hair and then gently touched her cheek as he pulled his hand back.

"_Thanks…"_ she said, her cheek burning from the slightest touch of his fingertips.

"_Are you hungry?" _he asked standing up.

"_Yes, actually. Starving." _she said checking her bag to make sure she had all her supplies.

"_Well I don't know much about this city, but I do know of a great pizza place, not too far from here. Does that sound okay?"_

"_That sounds great!" _ Pam said. She picked up her bag and stood up. They started walking down the hill to the pathway when Pam tripped over a rock in the grass. Without thinking she reached out and grasped his hand to steady herself. Instantly she realized what she had done and started to pull back, but Jim smiled at her and then giving her hand a gentle squeeze, softly laced his fingers through hers. He gave her a look, almost as if to ask if it was okay. She knew that he was expecting her to pull away, but she didn't. She squeezed his hand back and started walking again, her hand tucked inside of his.

It was amazing what the feeling of her small hand in his did to him. He almost felt like they were playing a little game. She'd give a little and see if he responded and then he would do the same thing. He knew that it was okay though. They were both being careful, not wanting to ruin this again. They decided to walk the few blocks to the restaurant, both secretly glad for the chance to not have to let go.

When they got to the restaurant Jim pulled out Pam's chair for her. She had always been impressed with how much of a gentleman he was. She couldn't ever remember Roy pulling out her chair for her. She remembered fighting with him about it once. He had made some stupid joke about how he already had her and didn't need to waste time on lame gestures. They talked and laughed over a pepperoni and sausage pizza. No one could make Pam laugh like Jim could. He loved the way that she clutched the napkin to her mouth as her shoulders shook with laugher. He loved the way that her eyes lit up when she looked at him. She loved the way that he would blush slightly and then quickly rub the scruff on his face when their knees would bump under the table. They kept the conversation light, but deep down they both knew that they were going to have to talk soon, confront the shadows of past memories that lingered near by. Time passed too quickly. Jim glanced at his watch and then groaned softly.

"_What's wrong?" _Pam asked.

"_It's nothing…" _Jim said. _"It's just that I didn't realize what time it was. My 8 year old cousin is having a birthday party tonight and I kind of promised my mom a while ago that I would go. I probably have to head back to Scranton."  
_

"_Oh…" _Pam said trying hard not to show the disappointment on her face. It impressed her that family was so important to him, but she was not ready for him to leave yet.

"_I'm sorry. I really wish I didn't have to go." _He reached across the table and grazed his thumb over the top of her knuckles gently. Pam gave him a smile.

"_It's okay. I am really glad that you would come up here. I had a great day."  
_

"_Me too. This has been…incredible."  
_

They rode back to Pam's apartment in silence, Pam's hand resting inside of Jim's, trying to savor each moment. The cab ride ended too quickly and they were soon standing outside Pam building. Jim had thought about this moment, debating on how this day was going to end. He wanted to kiss her. In fact, it took every ounce of strength he had in him to not grab her and do it right then, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. The last kiss they had shared had had such repercussions that as lame as it sounded he wanted their next kiss to be the beginning of a fresh start. They both knew that the hopelessness of the previous months still hung between them and they would finally have to confront it before it could begin to heal. He gave her hand a gentle tug and pulled her a little closer. His heart began to pound as she wrapped her arms around his waist. She leaned her cheek against his chest as his arms enfolded her. She held on tightly to him, breathing him in, feeling his heart beat against his chest. They stood that way for a long time, when Pam finally pulled away just enough so that she could look up at him.

"_So…when do you think…I can see you again?" _As soon as the words were out of her mouth she kicked herself for how cheesy it sounded. Jim must have thought so too, because he started laughing.

"_Oh shut up!" _Pam laughed swatting at his chest.

"_Well come on Beesly. What do you expect me to do with a line like that?"  
_

"_Fine…I changed my mind. Have a safe trip back." _Pam said pushing herself away from him.

"_I'm sorry…" _he said pulling her back. Then taking a deep breath he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. She closed her eyes, trying to memorize the moment.

"_What if I come back up next weekend? Do you think you would be free for dinner?"  
_

"_Well I'd have to check my schedule."_ Pam smiled. _"But I think that could move some things around."_

"_Great…thanks for trying to pencil me in."  
_

"_I'll see what I can do."  
_

"_Well, I really better get going. I'll call you later?"  
_

"_That sounds great." _Jim pulled her back for another quick hug before finally letting her go.

A lump formed in Pam's throat. She felt like she had just got a piece of him back and now he was leaving again. The only consolation was that he would be coming back and this time he would be coming back to her. He waved as he pulled away from the curb and she watched as his car disappeared down the street. She made her way up to the apartment in a daze. She could still feel the warmth on her forehead where his lips had touched. She opened the door and set her bag on the floor.

"_Hey!" _Natalee said looking up from her laptop that was sitting on the dining room table.

"_Hey!" _Pam said sitting down across from her. _"When did you get back?"  
_

"_A couple of hours ago. What have you been up too?"  
_

"_Oh nothing much…" _Pam said fully aware of the grin that was plastered to her face.

Natalee noticed the look on Pam's face and immediately closed her computer. _"Okay, what's going on?"_ she asked.

"_Okay…are you ready for this?"_ Pam said. _"I was going to go to Central Park to sketch this morning and when I opened the door to leave…Jim was standing there."  
_

"_What?!"_ Natalee asked. _"Are you serious?"  
_

"_Yeah. I couldn't believe it. He just showed up."  
_

"_What did you guys do?"  
_

"_Well we went to the park and then went to eat pizza. We just talked for hours. It was so…great."_ Pam said, still not able to wipe the smile from her face.

"_Oh Pam! I am so happy for you! I can't believe he just showed up here! That is so sweet! Where is he now?"  
_

"_He had to go back to Scranton for a family thing, but he is going to come back up next weekend."  
_

"_Okay…this might not be the best time to say it…" _Natalee said, _"But I told you so! I knew it!"  
_

Pam just smiled, the memories of the day playing in her head. Despite the pure elation she was feeling at that moment she was still a little apprehensive because they still hadn't had 'the talk'. She knew what she hoped he was feeling, but she also knew better than to assume anything. Last time she had assumed something she ended up heartbroken. She glanced anxiously at the clock, knowing that Jim was barely half an hour outside of the city and all she wanted to do was call him and tell him to come back. She knew she had to make herself busy or else she would drive herself crazy. She pulled on some sweats and an old t-shirt, put on some music and proceeded to clean the entire apartment, dancing around with Natalee like they were thirteen again. Finally around 7:30 they collapsed on the living room floor with Chinese takeout. Pam rested her back up against the couch and sighed happily.

"_So he's coming back up next weekend?" _Natalee asked taking a bite of chow mien.

"_Yeah…we didn't really plan out the details, but I'm sure whatever we do will be fine."_

"_Hey I have a question. Did you ever tell him about Aidan?"_

Pam put a piece of chicken in her mouth and chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds.

"_Yeah I did," _ she said finally. _"I had too. I mean it took me three years to finally be honest with him you know? I couldn't let him keep believing that I was with Aidan."_

"_What happened? Was he mad?" _Natalee asked with a worried smile.

"_No. Not at all. I thought he was going to be mad, but he just said that he was relieved and that he felt like a jerk for treating him like crap."_

"_Well it was understandable….and again…I told you so."_

Pam laughed. _"Yes you did. Although…." _she paused.

"_What?"_

"_I mean we still haven't determined anything…so I don't want to get my hopes up you know."_

"_Oh come on Pam. He didn't drive all the way up here and then spend the whole day with you just to remind you that you were friends. You know why he was here."_

A smile spread slowly across Pam's face as she thought about the day she had had. "_Yeah…I think I do."_

Around 10:00 Natalee had gone to bed and Pam was curled up in a ball on the couch watching some cheesy romantic comedy when her cell phone vibrated from the coffee table. She flipped it open to see the alert for a new text message. She opened it and the goofy grin she had worn on her face all day returned when saw it was from Jim.

**Wish you were here.**

She quickly hit reply and typed in **Can't enjoy the balloon animals on your own?**

**No…I'm okay with the balloon animals. It's the jumping castle I can't handle**

Pam laughed thinking back to that day and despite the rift between them there was still an undeniable connection.

**You're a big boy. I think you'll be okay.**

**Thanks for the vote of confidence. Have a good night. I'll call you tomorrow.**

**Talk to you then. Thanks again for a great day.**

Pam fell asleep on the couch, phone clutched tightly in her hand, a smile on her face for the promise of tomorrow.


	13. Chapter 13

-1Jim woke up early Sunday morning. He pulled on some sweats and a sweatshirt and went for a long run. Then he showered, ate breakfast, cleaned up his room and started washing the weeks' worth of dishes that had piled up in the sink.

"_What's up?" _Mark asked coming into the kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"_Nothing really." _Jim said wiping his hands on a dish towel. _"Want some breakfast?"_

Jim went over to the fridge to open it, but stopped when he saw the look on Mark's face. _"What?" _He asked.

"_You are in a ridiculously good mood. I mean you are up, dressed and are cleaning the kitchen and it's not even 9:00 yet. Plus you're offering to make me breakfast like your flippin' Martha Stewart or something. What gives?"_

"_Can't I just be in a good mood?"_

"_Well, considering the fact that you've been dark and depressing Jim for the past, who knows how many weeks? Now you're all captain sunshine."_

Jim laughed. _"Captain sunshine? Dude that has got to be the lamest thing I've ever heard you say."_

"_Whatever. Did Karen stop by for some post break-up…"_

"_Wow…."_ Jim interrupted. _"That is not it at all. Fine if you have to know…I saw Pam."_

"_And? I mean last time she was in town you came home without a girlfriend and spent the whole next day passed out on the couch."_

"_Yeah, thanks for reminding me of that and no she didn't come into town. Actually I went up to New York."_

"_Really?"_ Mark asked pouring a bowl of cereal.

"_Yeah…and we had a really great time. I think things are going to be different now."_

"_Well I hope so, because if you go back to depressing Jim, I will have to kick your ass."_

'_Thanks for the warning."_

"_So…are you guys like together now?"_

"_I don't know…we didn't get that far."_

"_Oh please…"_ Mark said rolling his eyes. _"You guys have got to get it together."_

Jim nodded, _"Yeah. I know."_

"_So when are you going to see her again?" _Mark asked through a mouth full of corn flakes.

"_Next weekend. Going to go back up to the city."_

"_Nice. So you up for some ball?"_

"_Are you sure you're ready to get your ass kicked?"_

Mark laughed, _"Good to have you back man."_

"_It's good to be back." _Jim thought.

--

Pam slept in late on Sunday, waking up feeling totally refreshed for the first time in months. She went out to the kitchen to find a note from Natalee on the table.

**Had to meet Aidan's parents for brunch. Be back this afternoon.**

Pam made herself some tea and sat down on the couch with a book and her cell phone near by. She didn't want to be that girl that sat by the phone waiting for the guy to call, but she also didn't want to be the girl that called constantly with nothing specific to say. Finally she put the book down, rinsed out her teacup and took a shower. She got dressed, did her hair and then made herself a sandwich. Finally she took her sketch book and her phone out onto the balcony. She had just opened her sketch book when her cell phone rang. She nervously set her book down on the table and picked up the phone. She tried to wave away the disappointment when she saw that it wasn't Jim calling.

"_Hey" _she said flipping open the phone.

"_Hey! What's up?" _Kate said.

"_Oh nothing. Just working on some sketches. What's up with you?"_

"_Not much. Just haven't talked to you in a few days. Wanted to see how things were going."_

"_Actually things are going really well."_

"_Really?" _Kate asked anxiously.

"_Yeah…actually Jim came up to see me yesterday. I was going to call you last night, but I've just been trying to wrap my head around this."_ Pam said picking up her sketch book again.

"_He came to New York?" _

"_Yeah. Just showed up. I was leaving and I opened my door and there he was."_

"_That's great Pam! So what happened?"_

"_Nothing really. I mean we hung out all day. It was great. It was so nice having him there."_

"_That's it? You just hung out? You didn't kiss him!?"_

"_No. There were a couple of moments where I thought we might. He held my hand though." _ Pam smiled at the memory of the warmth of his hand around hers. She felt so giddy talking about it. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so giddy talking about boys with her sister.

"_Pam, that's great! When do you get to see him again?" _Kate asked.

"_Well I don't know exactly. Hopefully next weekend. I haven't really talked to him since he left yesterday."_

"_So are you finally together or what?"_

"_I don't know that either! We really didn't talk about anything….serious. It was really nice though. Just spending that time with him."_

"_I bet. So…"_

Kate's voice was cut off by a beep signaling that Pam had a call on the other line. Pam's heart jumped when she saw Jim's name flash on the screen.

"_Kate? Sorry to interrupt you, but he is on the other line. Do you mind if I call you back later?"_

"_Of course not! You better fill me in!"_

"_I will! Bye Kate!"_

Pam took a deep breath and then pushed the button to switch to the other line.

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey. How are you?"_

"_I am good. How are you?" _Pam was glad that Jim couldn't see the ridiculously huge smile that was on her face.

"_I great. I just kicked Mark's butt at basketball."_

"_Congratulations. You must be so proud."_

"_I am thanks. So what are you doing today?"_

"_I don't know yet. Probably work on some things for class, maybe go to dinner with my roommate."_

"_Wow Beesly. That sounds…just…wow."_

Pam laughed, _"Okay Mr. Excitement. What big plans do you have?"_

"_Well…I already did the dishes, so I thought I might fold some laundry, maybe play a little x-box, take a nap. My day is jam packed."_

Pam giggled again softly. They joked and talked back and forth about nothing of great importance for nearly an hour, but despite the laughter and jokes, the thought that was on the forefront of both of their minds was where they stood and what the next step was going to be.

Finally Pam decided that she needed to break the ice. When there was a break in the conversation she decided that this was her chance.

"_Jim. I think we need to talk…about some stuff." _She said walking back inside the apartment and sitting down the couch with her legs curled under her.

Jim could tell by the change in her tone that this was going to be it. He tried to settle his nerves before answering.

"_You're right. We do."_

"_Well can I ask you a question?"_

"_Sure…anything."_

"_Okay…well…I don't really know if I want to know this, but…what happened with Karen?"_

Jim took a deep breath. Better to get this out of the way first. _"Well, Pam…honestly…I couldn't give myself to Karen. Not fully anyways. I couldn't give her what she wanted."_

"_What did she want?"_ Pam asked tentatively.

"_Well…she wanted my heart and I just couldn't…" _Jim trailed off.

"_I'm sorry Jim."_

"_Don't be Pam. It was better that it ended. I just couldn't do it anymore."_

They were silent for a few minutes. Then Pam started again. _"Okay…so what now?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Where do we go from here?"_

"_Where do you want to go?"_ Jim asked.

"_Stop being difficult!" _Pam laughed.

"_Sorry! I just…want to see what you're thinking before I…" _Jim didn't finish, but Pam understood. He had already put it all on the line and despite the fun they had been having and the closeness they were beginning to feel with each other once again she knew that he had every right to still be guarded. She knew what she was beginning to feel. She had a sense deep down that she had always been in love with him, but she had done such a good job of hiding it, even denying it that she was still a little hesitant about saying it out loud.

"_Well…I know I want to spend more time with you. I know that I…I really…just want to be with you."_

She could almost hear Jim smile over the phone. "_I want to be with you too Pam."_

He knew how much courage it took for her to admit that to him. He could tell how much she had changed by being in New York. He could see and hear the confidence that she had gained.

"_Well good." _She said softly.

There was another pause and then she asked, "_So are you okay with coming back up here this weekend?"_

"_Absolutely. What do you want to do?"_

"_Well I was thinking that maybe we could go to the Met. I'd really like to show you some of the things we've been working on."_

"_I would love to do that."_

"_Really?"_ Pam knew that this was going to take some getting used too. Any time she suggested an idea of something to do to Roy he would brush it off or tell her that he already made plans.

"_Of course. Then we could go to dinner afterwards."_

"_Sounds great."_

"_I was thinking I could leave a bit early on Friday…like around 4:30. That'd be me in the city around 6:30 or 7:00 depending on traffic."_

"_That'd be perfect. Are you sure you don't mind coming back up here?"_

"_Not at all. Pam…seriously. I want to do it. I'll have to check and see what hotels are around."_

"Well you could always stay here." The minute Pam said it she began to blush, hoping that he wouldn't get the wrong idea. _"I mean…we have a nice pull-out couch…or…." She was stumbling now not knowing quite what to say._

"_By pull-out couch do you mean futon?"_

Pam loved the way that Jim didn't make her feel stupid or embarrassed…just made her laugh.

"_No…we're a bit classier than that."_

"_Are you sure your roommate would be okay with that?"_

"_Of course. It would be great."_

"_Well okay then it's settled." _Jim smiled.

"_Hey!!" _Natalee said walking in and closing the front door. _"Oh sorry!" _She whispered when she saw the phone in Pam's hand.

"_It's Jim…" _Pam mouthed pointing to the phone.

Natalee smiled and gave Pam thumbs up.

"_Pam?" _Jim asked.

"_Oh sorry. Natalee…my roommate just walked in. What did you say?"_

"_Oh it's no problem. Actually, I just said that I had to get going. I told Mark that I'd go grab some pizza with him."_

"_Oh…okay." _

"_I'll call you later tonight, okay?"_

"_Okay!" _Pam said trying to sound cheerful. She hated having to say goodbye to him.

"_Talk to you soon!"_

"_Bye Pam."_

Pam hung up and pressed her hand against her lips. She thought that she would be used to missing him by now, but she couldn't ignore the ache inside of her every time they said goodbye.

Pam was looking forward to the start of the week. She was going to be really busy being as she had two big assignments due for class and the art show that she and Natalee had been helping prep was only a couple of weeks away. She hoped that with as busy as she was going to be that it would make the week pass by fast. She could hardly wait for Friday, to see him again, to feel his arms around her. He sent her a text early Monday morning containing a picture of Dwight staring at his bobble head. As much as she loved being in New York, part of her wished she was back in Scranton, with Jim. Laughing at Dwight and eating sandwiches on the roof. She tried not to think too much about it because if she did then she would begin to feel regret. Regret about the moments that were lost and the fact that she had realized too late how he felt, and more importantly how she felt. She knew that it wouldn't do any good to dwell on that fact. She could only continue to try and make it up to him…and to herself.

Tuesday night, Pam and Natalee were driving home late from the museum. Pam was leaning her head against the window with her eyes closed. It had been a long day and she was exhausted.

"_Oh… I forgot there was something I have to ask you." _Natalee said.

Pam lifted her head and turned to look at Natalee.

"_Aidan called me today and told me that his firm is having a big dinner/dance gala thing at the plaza this weekend. You know…big black tie event. He wanted to know if maybe you and Jim would like to come with us."_

"_Oh wow. That sounds amazing. I would love to go. I'll ask Jim tonight and let you know. I'm sure he'd like to go."_

"_Great! It's Saturday night, so it won't conflict with your big plans for Friday!"_

"_Is it totally stupid that I am nervous? I mean this is like our first official date."_

"_It's a big deal. It will be great though."_

When they got home Pam changed into some pajamas and then lay down on her bed. She flipped open her phone and quickly dialed Jim's number.

"_Hey." _He said his voice deep and slightly hoarse. Pam's stomach fluttered at the sound of it.

"_Did I wake you up?"_

"_No…." _Jim said lightly.

"_You're such a liar. I'm sorry. I know it's late."_

"_Naw…sleep is overrated."_

Pam laughed softly. _"I'll make this quick. Natalee invited us to this dinner thing at Aidan's PR firm on Saturday night. It's a big, formal thing. I totally understand if you don't want to go. I thought it might be fun, but if you don't feel up for that we definitely don't have to go. I mean you'd have to dress up and everything and…."_

"_Pam…"_ Jim interjected. _"Whoa…."_

"_Sorry…I just…" _Pam couldn't finish. She knew why she was talking so fast, trying to convince him before he could say no. She was so used to having to do that with Roy. She always felt like if there was ever anything that she really wanted to do she had to argue it until she was blue in the face and even then most of the time he would find some excuse to get out of it. Pam didn't want this to become a habit, comparing Jim to Roy, especially as she was learning more and more that they were absolutely nothing alike, but she also knew that it was going to take some time to break out of the habit of being quiet, submissive Pam. The Pam that did whatever she was told because she lacked the courage to do otherwise.

"_Pam?" _Jim asked. Tears filled her eyes as she thought of what her life had been before and the hope of what it could be now, with Jim.

She sniffed, hoping he couldn't hear it. _"Yeah?"_

"_Do you want to go?"_

"_I think it would be fun…"_

"_Then let's go."_

"_You don't mind? You'll have to dress up."_

"_Pam…honestly…as long as I get to be with you I don't care what we do."_

Pam sniffed again, a bit louder this time.

"_What's wrong?" _Jim asked with such tenderness in his voice that Pam finally let a few tears fall.

"_Nothing…I'm just…happy."_

"_Yeah…you really sound like it." _Jim laughed.

"_No seriously. I am. I am really happy. I'm in…." _Pam stopped suddenly, shocked by how easily those three words were going to come out.

Jim waited, unable to breathe, to see what she would say next. It certainly sounded like she was going to tell him that she was in love with him, but he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

"_I'm just really happy." _Pam said finally.

"_Good. So am I." _Jim said softly. He had hoped that she was going to say something else, but he also knew that it might take some time before they were finally able to admit that to each other out loud. _"So…it's a formal thing right?"_

"_Yeah…so you're going to have to save the Dwight costume for another event."_

"_Great…now I have to start at square one."_

They talked for a while longer and then said goodbye. Pam set her phone down on the nightstand and sat stiffly on the edge of her bed. She couldn't believe that she had almost told him that she was in love with him. She had just fully come to the realization herself. She had been sitting there listening to his voice, slightly husky, but as always she could hear the thoughtfulness and attentiveness in his voice. It was then that it hit her like a Mack truck. She was in love with him, probably always had been. It was racing through her mind a million miles an hour and that is when she realized that she had almost said it aloud. She stopped suddenly hoping he wouldn't notice what she had almost said. She knew that she needed to tell him, she wanted to tell him, but part of her wanted to wait a little longer to see if he gave her any inclination that he felt the same way. She knew it was a bit selfish of her, knowing that he had told her that he was in love with her, not expecting anything in return. She tossed and turned all night, torn between wanting to call him back right then to tell him and waiting because when she did say it she really didn't want to do it over the phone.

Wednesday passed by as quickly as Tuesday did. Pam was getting anxious waiting for Friday. She could hardly wait to see him again. When she got home Wednesday night she sat down in front of her computer with a bowl of soup and opened her e-mail. They still had to define plans for Friday. As she was typing in his e-mail an IM suddenly popped up on screen.

**JHalpert: Hey**

Pam smiled loving how even a simple greeting over an instant message could make her feel weak in the knees. She took a bite of soup and typed back.

**PBeesly: Hey yourself **

**JHalpert: What are you doing?**

**PBeesly: Eating soup**

**JHalpert: What kind?**

**PBeesly: Chicken noodle. Is there any other kind?**

**JHalpert: Well I am quite partial to the classic tomato. Goes quite well with grilled cheese.**

**PBeesly: Of course. I wouldn't expect anything else from you! So, what are you doing?**

**JHalpert: Nothing really. I was hanging out with my brother. He came over to watch the game and is now passed out on my bed…and snoring very loudly I might add.**

**PBeesly: Wow. I feel so much better now that I know that.**

**JHalpert: I thought you might. **

**PBeesly: So how was your day?**

**JHalpert: Well I spent about an hour trying to convince Dwight that Ryan will try and take his place when he graduates from business school and it kind of backfired. Dwight spent the rest of the afternoon making a 14 point plan about why he will always be a better employee. I had to sit for the rest of the afternoon listening to him groan and say "He'll never win" over and over again.**

**PBeesly: Well how does the plan look?**

**JHalpert: I think it might be some of his best work up to this point.**

**PBeesly: Make sure you tell him good luck for me.**

**JHalpert: I definitely will. So what are you up to tonight? **

**PBeesly: I was actually going to e-mail you right when you IM'd me. Wanted to see if you wanted to finalize plans for this weekend.**

**JHalpert: Yeah. I was thinking about that today. I have a sales call at 3:30, but I can leave straight from there, so I will be on my way around 4:30. I was thinking maybe I could pick you up at your apartment…like a real date…if that's okay.**

**PBeesly: That would be great. Then we could go to the museum and then grab some dinner?**

**JHalpert: Perfect**

**PBeesly: I'm really looking forward to it.**

**JHalpert: So am I. I think it will be a great weekend.**

**PBeesly: Me too. Well, I hate to cut this short, but I have to finish up some work on my project that is due tomorrow. **

**JHalpert: I should go too. I have to figure out a way to get Jon off my bed before he ends up staying there all night.**

**PBeesly: Well good luck with that.**

**JHalpert: Thanks Beesly. Sleep tight.**

Thursday seemed to drag with the anticipation of Friday being right around the corner building. Pam's mind kept wandering and she had a hard time focusing on her work. Finally it was lunch time and she and Natalee were able to escape to the deli around the corner.

"_Please tell me why I am so nervous about this weekend." _Pam asked as she took a bite of her turkey sandwich.

"_Because you know that this is the start of something huge. I can't believe that you haven't kissed him yet." _Natalee said.

"_Well it's not because I didn't want too." _Pam laughed.

"_I know, I know. But if this whole weekend goes by without it…"_

"_It won't if I have anything to say about it…" _Pam said boldly.

"_Slut!" _Natalee said with a wink.

The two dissolved into laughter as they finished up their lunch.

"_I think I'm going to have to go shopping again." _Pam said as they walked back to the museum. _"I don't have a dress to wear on Saturday." _

She thought of the two dresses that she owned. One was the blue gray dress she had worn to Phyllis's wedding and the other was the periwinkle dress that she had worn that night. Neither dress held memories that Pam wanted present this weekend. For Phyllis's wedding she had dressed herself up with the slight intention of making Jim jealous. Now things had changed and she wanted to start with a clean slate.

"_You know I am always up for that." _Natalee said. _"Although I think I might have the perfect dress for you. We'll go home and you can try it on."_

"_Definitely. You know I can't do it without your expertise!"_

"_Well obviously…"_ Natalee said with a smile.

Pam woke up early Friday morning, unable to sleep at all. She quickly showered, ate breakfast and got dressed for class. Her stomach was in knots. She kept pacing back and forth making sure that the apartment was cleaned up and that there were clean pillows and sheets for the pull-out bed. Finally Natalee pulled her out of the apartment saying that she was going to walk a rut into the floor with all the pacing she was doing. She sat numbly in class, watching the moments tick by on the clock. Her last class didn't end until quarter to six, so she wasn't going to have much time to get ready. After what seemed like forever the clock finally read 5:45. She threw all of her stuff in her bag and rushed out to the parking garage.

When she finally pulled into the parking lot at her apartment it was 6:05. She raced upstairs, hopped in the shower and then hurried into her room to get dressed. She pulled on a pair of gray wide leg trousers and a simple white button up shirt. Then she finished the outfit with a deep blue cropped cardigan. She slipped on some cute, but comfortable black ballet flats that she had borrowed from Natalee. She ran some mousse through her hair and then blow dried it so that it softly curled around her face. She carefully applied some make-up, trying not to overdo it. Finally she stepped back and admired herself in the mirror. 'Not half bad…' she thought as she looked at her watch. It was 6:40. She went out into the living room to wait. She getting annoyed with herself at how nervous she was. She paced back and forth, sat on the couch, stood up again and then finally made herself sit still. She glanced at her watch again 6:45. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest when she heard the knock at the door. She quickly checked her hair in the hallway mirror, took a deep breath to try and calm her nerves and then opened the door. He was standing there wearing a pair of khaki pants and a green sweater with the sleeves slightly pushed up showing off his forearms.

"_Hi!" _Pam said excitedly. Then without thinking she stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He responded immediately, snaking his long arms around her waist. Finally Pam broke away and flushed at the huge smile that was on Jim's face.

"_Hey yourself." _he said, extending out his arm to reveal a beautiful bouquet of peach, orange and white Gerber daisies.

"_Oh Jim! These are beautiful!"_ she said taking them from him and shivering slightly as his fingers brushed hers. _"Come on in." _she said stepping back so he could enter the apartment. He stepped into the entry way pushing his hands deep into his pockets.

"_Wow," _he said looking around the living room. _"What a great place."_

"_I know. Hard to believe Dunder Mifflin owns this."_ Pam laughed reaching under the sink for a vase.

"_Awesome view too." _he said peering out onto the balcony.

"_Yeah…I spend a lot of time out there." _she carefully set the vase on the table and went to stand by him.

Jim turned to Pam and said, _"You look amazing by the way."_

"_Thank you. You don't look half bad yourself." _Pam said with a shy grin.

"_Oh thanks." _Jim said with a small laugh. His eyes met hers and she felt the flush return to her cheeks. He slowly reached out and took her hand gently in his. She took a step towards him and he pulled her into another warm hug. She loved the feel of his arms around her. She leaned her head on his chest, broad and muscular under her cheek.

"_I missed you." _Jim whispered against her hair. Some might have taken that comment as that he missed not seeing her for the past week, but they both knew that it encompassed so much more than that.

She pulled him a little bit closer to her and whispered back, _"I missed you too."_

Finally Jim pulled away and looked down at her. _"You ready to go?"_

"_Yup. Let me just grab my coat." _She grabbed her coat and purse from the closet and then opened the front door.

They walked down to Jim's car and he opened the passenger door for her. They made comfortable small talk as they drove to the museum. They parked and Jim got out and opened the door for Pam. She carefully climbed out and smiled up at him. Feeling brave she reached out and grasped his hand. A look of surprise flashed briefly across his face, but then he relaxed and gently squeezed her hand.

They spent over an hour at the museum. Pam pointed out different paintings that she liked and showed him the different exhibits that she had helped prep for the big show. Jim said very little, just watched the light in Pam's eyes and the smile on her face as she pulled him from room to room. He had seen this side of her when it came to art only a couple of times before. The one that he remembered most clearly had been when she had told him about the Dunder Mifflin internship the first time Jan had mentioned it to her. Her eyes had lit up and he had seen something there that he had never seen before. He the immediate change in her demeanor when had told him that she wasn't going to do it. Despite the front she had put up that it wasn't that big of a deal, he could see the hurt and longing in her eyes and he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and promise her that if she would just give him a chance he would show her that there was so much more out there for her…for them.

But now the spark was back, the light was in her eyes and he was the one that got to share it with her.

Finally Pam stopped and took a breath. _"I am so sorry. I have been talking nonstop for like an hour. I sometimes get too carried away. I'm sorry."_

Jim smiled and shook his head. _"Why are you sorry? I love that you are showing this to me. It's great to see what you get to look at every day."_

Pam felt a surge rush through her body as she looked at him, further confirming the realization she had come too earlier that week. _"Well there is just one more room and then we can go to dinner."_

"_Take your time." _He said.

Eventually they made their way out of the museum and decided to walk to the few block to the restaurant. Jim kept casting sideways glances at Pam while they walked. The desire to kiss her was growing stronger by the minute. He didn't know how much longer he could wait. Despite the overall painful memories associated with Casino Night, there was a moment that he held close to his heart and he swore that at times he could still feel the sweetness of her lips on his.

They went to a quiet, small Italian restaurant for dinner. The candlelight and small tables made for an intimate setting. They both ordered the chicken parmesan and shared a piece of tiramisu. After Jim paid the bill, they made their way back towards the museum. Pam pulled her coat closer around her to ward off the chill of the night air. They walked hand in hand block after block just talking and thoroughly enjoying being with each other. They talked about their childhoods and told each other funny stories of things they had done when they were younger. He loved hearing about how she got her first set of art pencils when she was 10 and had drawn on every piece of paper in sight, including her dad's tax forms. Pam's eyes filled with tears from laughing so hard when Jim told her about the first prank he ever played and how it ended with his mom hosing mud off of him in the backyard. The sound of her laughter was music to his ears. They both knew that they had a lot to catch up on, so many lost moments to make up for.

Jim stopped walking and Pam turned to face him, her cheeks pink from the cold and from laughing so much. She had the most beautiful smile on her face, and Jim knew that if he wasn't already madly in love with her this would have pushed him over the edge. This moment reminded him so much of the booze cruise, trying to say everything that he was feeling with a look. Only this time the smile didn't fade from her face under the intensity of his gaze. Instead she stepped closer to him and brought her hands up to rest lightly on his chest. His heart began to beat fiercely in his chest as she looked into his eyes. She smiled warmly and then softly grasping on the lapels of his jacket pulled him down until his lips met hers. Pam felt the electricity of the kiss shoot all the way down to her toes. His lips were soft and full and the kiss was sweet and tender.

She slowly pulled away only to look into his eyes and whisper, _"I'm in love with you Jim."_

Jim felt as if time had frozen. Could he have heard her right? He had waited for this moment for four years and his mind was such a blur from the kiss that he wasn't sure if she had really said it or if he had imagined it.

"_What?" _He said huskily.

Pam began to feel nervous; maybe it was too much too soon. She quickly ducked her head, but she knew she had to muster the courage to finish.

"_I am in love with you Jim. I am so in love with you. I think I always have been and I am so….so sorry that it took me so long to realize it."_

Finally Pam dared to look back up at him and froze when she saw his face. It was so similar that the look that he had had on his face that night, tears forming in his eyes, his hands shaking slightly. One small tear escaped from his eyes and made its way down his cheek, but this time it was accompanied by a smile. He didn't answer, just bent back down and pressed his lips firmly against hers. She could feel wetness on her cheek, but she couldn't tell if it was from him…or from her. She was fairly certain that she had never felt happier in her entire life than she did at this moment. Finally, they had made it to this point. This kiss was longer, much longer and filled with a thousand unspoken words. When Jim finally pulled away he reached up and brushed a curl from her face, his hand lingering gently on her cheek.

"_You have no idea…how long I have wanted to hear you say that." _He said finally. He took a deep breath. _"I am in love with you too. I love you so….so much."_

She grinned up at him blinking back the tears of happiness that fell down her cheeks.

"_Good…" _she said before standing up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him again.

Eventually they made their way back to the museum where Jim's car was parked. Even though they still had two days together they didn't want the magic of this evening to end. Jim leaned back against his car and wrapped his arms tightly around Pam's waist. He pulled her to him and rested his chin lightly against her hair, breathing in the fruity, fresh scent of it. She hugged him tightly while they talked. She leaned back and looked up at him and he dipped his head to kiss her again. He loved this, the fact that he could now kiss her whenever he wanted. Each kiss was better than the last, a little deeper and longer and with more passion. She gasped softly as his teeth nipped at her bottom lip. He loved the way that her fingers threaded through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. Finally he pulled away from her a little breathless and grinned down at her.

"_I love you…" _he said, just because he could.

The sound of those words made Pam's heart swell. She couldn't believe that this was happening.

She stretched up and pressed a couple of soft kisses against his cheek and along the firmness of his jaw line. _"I love you too…" _she whispered.

Finally, they got into the car and drove back to Pam's apartment, hands interlocked tightly. They both were feeling like they had to hold on as long as they could, that for some reason if they stopped touching then this would all disappear. Jim got out of the car and opened Pam's door for her. She got out and then wrapped her arm through his resting her hand lightly on his bicep, something that despite how silly it was, she had always wanted to do.

"_Well here we are." _Pam said as she unlocked the front door.

"_Hey!" _Natalee said from the kitchen table as Pam led Jim into the apartment.

"_Hey!" _She wrapped her arm back through Jim's and said, _"Natalee, this is Jim. Jim this is my roommate Natalee."_

"_Its nice to meet you." _Jim said extending his hand politely.

"_It's great to finally meet you Jim." _Natalee said standing up and walking over to shake his hand. _"Pam has told me so much about you." _She tried to stifle a laugh as she saw Pam roll her eyes behind Jim's shoulder.

"_Well I'll just leave now then." _Jim said.

Natalee and Pam both laughed as Pam peeled off her coat and hung it up in the closet.

"_Do you want me to take your coat?" _Pam asked.

"_Actually, I have to run back down to my car and grab my bag. I forgot to bring it up with me."_

"_Oh okay. Do you need help?"_

"_No, that's okay. I can handle one small duffle bag. Plus it's cold out. I'll be right back." _he gave Pam's hand a squeeze and then headed out the door.

Natalee waited until the door closed behind him before turning to Pam and squealing, _"Okay! Hurry…fill me in."_

"_Well we definitely had a productive evening."_

Natalee raised her eyebrow at Pam questioningly, causing Pam to blurt out, _"Wait…no! Not like that!"_

Natalee laughed, _"At least tell me that you kissed him."_

"_Well…."_ Pam said, pausing.

"_You suck!" _Natalee yelled. _"Just tell me."_

"_Yes I kissed him…a lot!" _ Pam said with a laugh. "_I also told him that I was in love with him."_

"_You did? Oh my gosh Pam! What did he say?"_

"_He said he was in love with me too."_

Natalee squealed again and threw her arms around Pam. _"I am so excited for you!"_

"_Thanks! I still can't believe it. It's like any moment I am going to wake up from this dream. It's crazy."_

"_This is great Pam! I am so glad I finally got to meet him. He seems great."_

"_He really is." _Pam said with a smile.

"_So…." _Natalee asked expectantly.

"_What?" _Pam said.

"_Is he a good kisser?"_

"_Natalee…" _Pam exclaimed rolling her eyes with mock exaggeration. _"I don't kiss and tell."_

"_Oh whatever…" _Natalee said. _"Come on…spill it."_

"_Well…if you MUST know. Yes, he is a good kisser. A VERY good kisser." _

"_He looks like he would be." Natalee said. _Pam began to blush and Natalee laughed as the redness spread across her cheeks.

"_Excuse me….but don't you already have a boyfriend?" _Pam asked with a wink.

"_He is a good kisser too…." Natalee said blatantly. _

"_Glad to hear it…" _Pam said. They both started laughing and then their laughter was interrupted by a knock at the door. Pam hurried over to it and opened it.

Jim took a look at Pam's flushed face and then glanced over at Natalee who was trying desperately to compose herself.

"_Do I want to know?" _he asked stepping inside and shutting the door behind him.

"_Nope…not even a little bit." _ Pam said.

"_Got it." _Jim set his bag on the floor next to the wall and pulled off his coat.

"_Well…" _Natalee said. _"It's late and I am off to bed. It was really great to meet you Jim."_

"_You too. Have a good night."_

Jim knelt down to pull something out of his bag and while he was bent down Natalee caught Pam's eye, mouthed _"Slut" _and with a wink was gone.

Pam just smiled and shook her head as Jim stood back up holding his cell phone charger.

"_Can I plug this in somewhere?" _he asked.

"_Yeah. Um…let's put your stuff in my room. You can plug your phone in there."_

"_Ok…" _Jim said following Pam into her room. He stood tentatively in the doorway, suddenly unsure about being in Pam's bedroom. She set his bag down on the desk chair and then turned to look at him.

"_What are you doing?" _she asked when she saw him leaning slightly against the door frame.

"_I…don't know." _Jim said with a laugh. _"So this is your room?"_

"_This is my room." _Pam said. _"It's not much…but it works."_

"_It's nice." _Jim said noticing the easel in the corner and the pile of art books on the desk.

"_Thanks…" _Pam said sitting down on the bed. She glanced at the clock by her bed. _"Oh wow. I can't believe it's almost one in the morning."_

"_I know. It's gone by so fast already." _Jim said bravely moving to sit next to her on the bed. She turned to look at him and he cupped her chin in his hand and pressed his lips gently against hers.

"_This has been an amazing night." _Pam said.

"_You have no idea…" _he said breathlessly kissing her again.

Their kisses became deeper and Pam found herself leaning back slowly on the bed pulling Jim with her. He placed his hand behind her head as she pulled him down. She let her hand roam over his back, feeling how surprisingly muscular he was. Despite the intensity of the kisses Jim was extremely careful, not wanting to push too far too fast. He kept one hand behind her head and the other moved gently from her arm to her hair and briefly to her waist. She ran her hands up his back and then into his hair. She could kiss him forever, she thought. This was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Making out with Roy had always had to lead to one thing and one thing only. It was almost like making out with her was a burden to him…just a way to make her semi-happy so he could get what he wanted. But just like with everything else Jim was totally different. He was respectful and gentle, showing his love in the way he kissed her and not just trying to get to the point.

Eventually, Jim gently pulled away and sat up slowly. He knew he had to stop now or it would be too late. He looked down at her, her curls spread out on the bed, lips slightly swollen and he smiled.

"_You're so beautiful." _he said taking her hand and pulling her up to sit next to him. He placed his hand on her cheek and gave her one more long, deep kiss before standing up.

"_I guess I should go change." _he said grabbing his bag from the chair.

"_Oh…uh…bathroom…down the hall…left." _Pam managed to squeak out and then he walked out leaving her breathless and shaking slightly on the edge of her bed. Finally she was able to stand up. She closed the bedroom door and then grabbed some pajamas out of her dresser. She quickly slipped them on and pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She opened the bedroom door and sat back down on her bed. Soon, Jim came back in, wearing faded blue pajama pants and a gray Penn State sweatshirt, his hair slightly ruffled. 'Amazing how he looks good in everything, even pajamas', Pam thought as he set his bag back down on the chair. She stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her close and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"_I guess I better go to bed." _Jim said reluctantly.

"_Oh…yeah…" _Pam said, but she didn't let go. _"Um…." _she started.

Jim looked down at her quizzically.

"_Do you think that maybe you could stay here with me for a little while?" _she finally asked.

"_Absolutely." _Jim said. He took her hand and pulled her over to the bed. She pulled back the covers and got into bed. Jim turned off the light and walked over to the other side and then paused, debating whether to just lay on top of the covers or get into the bed with her. She smiled as the dilemma played clearly on his face. She didn't say anything, just flipped down the blanket on his side and patted the mattress. He laughed and then climbed into the bed next to her. He lay down and put his arm around Pam. She snuggled up close to him, breathing in the smell of him. He smelled incredible, sort of spicy and warm. She lay her head on his chest and he brought one hand up to softly stroke her hair.

"_I love you." _she whispered as her eyes slowly closed.

"_I love you too." _Jim said unable to contain the huge smile that crossed his face.


	14. Chapter 14

Jim slowly opened his eyes and for a brief moment wondered where he was. He felt a slight movement next to him and quickly looked down to see Pam curled up next to him, her head laying against his chest, one arm draped loosely over his stomach. The memories of the night before came rushing back. She had kissed him, told him that she was in love with him. He had been afraid that it had been a dream, like many he had had before, but now feeling the warmth of Pam's body next to his, softly stroking her hair, he knew that finally everything he had ever wanted had come true. He couldn't remember a time that he had ever felt this happy. He watched her sleep, loving the peaceful look on her face. His heartbeat quickened as she let out a small sigh. He tightened his hold on her and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. After awhile Pam stirred. She stretched slightly and then turned to head up to look at him.

__

"Good morning…" he said, thinking that the sight of her just waking up next to him was one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

__

"Hi…" she said groggily. _"Did you sleep okay?"_

"Great. Did you?"

"Yeah…I slept really well." She shifted slightly and then wrapped her arm tighter around him. He let his fingers softly trail from her hair, then down her back and then up her arm to her face. She leaned up and kissed him gently. He turned so that he was fully facing her. He placed his hand on her cheek and then slid it around to the back of her neck kissing her again, deeper and harder. She sighed softly and opened her mouth a little more against his. Her hand pressed up against his chest and then slowly moved down to his stomach, playing with the hem of his sweatshirt. Finally she pulled away, gasping almost inaudibly.

__

"Wow…" she whispered.

Jim smiled and kissed the tip of her nose. _"Yeah…_" he said.

She took her hand and rubbed it lightly against the scruff on his cheeks. _"I think I could stay here all day."_

"I'm up for that." He smiled nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.

__

"Do you want to go get some breakfast?" Pam asked after a few minutes.

__

"No. I want to stay right here." Jim said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tightly against him.

__

"Well I think eventually we'd have to get up at some point." Pam laughed.

__

"Fine…but if I have to get up it has to be for chocolate chip pancakes."

__

"Chocolate chip pancakes? What are you five?" Pam asked.

__

"Whatever. They're good and you know it." Jim said rolling over onto his back and pulling Pam with him. She laughed and kissed him once more. He climbed out of the bed and walked over to the window. Pam watched him stretch, smiling at the sight of his disheveled hair and his sweatshirt riding up slightly giving her a glimpse of his flat stomach.

__

"Is it okay if I go take a quick shower?" he asked turning back to look at her still curled up in a ball on the bed.

"_Yeah…of course." _Pam said.

He grabbed as bag off the chair and as he walked towards the door he stopped next to the bed and bent over giving Pam another kiss.

She smiled as he walked out of the room, still in disbelief that this was really happening. She climbed out of bed and walked out into the living room. Natalee was sitting on the couch with her laptop. She looked up when Pam walked in. Pam sat down next to her on the couch and started to laugh, when Natalee pressed her lips together and shook her head.

__

"What?" Pam asked.

__

"So, uh…I just saw Jim come out of your room. And I might not be a genius, but I am pretty sure this couch was not slept on last night."

"Wow…you should be a detective with those kinds of observational skills." Pam said.

__

"Nothing happened. It is possible to have some self-control."

__

"Whatever you say…" Natalee said with a smirk.

Pam just laughed and went back into her room. She grabbed some clothes and waited for Jim to get out of the shower. He came back in a short while later, wearing jeans and a blue and gray striped polo shirt over a long sleeve gray t-shirt. His hair was damp and her heart skipped a beat when he smiled and gave her a wink. She hurried and showered, pulled on some good-fitting jeans, a white t-shirt and then a cute deep red sweater over the top. She pulled her hair back in a pony tail and put on a bit of makeup. She went back out into the living room and saw Jim sitting on the couch talking to Natalee. He stood up when he saw her walk in.

__

"Hey! You look great!" he said with a smile.

__

"Thanks. You ready to go?" she asked.

__

"Yup." He walked back into her room to grab his wallet. While he was gone Natalee looked at Pam, winked and gave her thumbs up.

Pam smiled and then Jim came back out. He waved to Natalee and then followed Pam out the door. They held hands as they walked down the street, until they got to a small café. Jim pulled Pam's chair out for her and then sat down.

__

"So what is the plan for tonight?" he asked while they waited for the waitress to come over.

__

"Well I think we need to be ready to go at 7:00. Aidan's company is sending a car. I really appreciate you being willing to do this."

"Pam. You don't have to thank me for this." Jim said seriously, reaching over and grasping her hand. _"Why do you think that it's a big deal?"_

Pam flushed and then said finally, _"I don't know. I guess I'm just used to having to…defend things that I want to do…or something. I don't know."_

Jim nodded and she knew that he understood exactly what she meant, without her having to actually tell him. She realized that the connection they had was so deep and so special that some things could just go unspoken, but still be completely understood.

__

"You don't need to do that with me Pam." Jim said tenderly. _"You have to know that I am not like that."_

"I do. It's just sometimes hard to break the habit, I guess."

"I know. But please understand…I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. I have been waiting…forever for this to happen and I am not going to take this…or you for granted."

Pam just smiled, a little embarrassed by the tears that quickly filled her eyes.

__

"Hey…what's wrong?" he asked, a look of concern crossing his face.

She shook her head quickly, blinking back the tears. _"Nothing…I just…you're amazing. How could I have been so stupid as to not get that before? I mean I always knew that you were a great, funny, incredibly nice guy…but…I just made so many mistakes. How could you ever forgive me for what I did?"_

"Oh Pam…" Jim said reaching across the table and wiping a tear from her cheek. _"There wasn't anything to forgive. I mean…we both did things that probably weren't the best idea. I mean…I told you I was in love with you…knowing full well that you were engaged to someone else. What did I expect you to do?"_

Pam reached up and grabbed the hand that was pressed to her cheek. _"I could have been honest. I could have mustered up some courage…and not of let you walk away. Jim, that was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I cant believe I just let you walk away. I am so sorry."_

The tears began to build up again, threatening to spill over. Jim thought for a moment and then locked his eyes with hers, the sight of her tears breaking his heart a little.

__

"I'm not going to lie. That night was one of the hardest things I've ever been through and yes, being in love with you and not being able to tell you for so long was really hard. But let me tell you something Pam. You have changed so much, turned into even more of an incredible person than you were before. I am so proud of you…the things that you have done. I wouldn't trade the things that have happened these past few weeks for anything in the world. Don't think that there is anything that you need to be forgiven for Pam. **Please** don't think that. When you told me that…" Jim paused, a lump forming in his throat. _"…that you were in love with me, none of those things that hurt so much before, mattered anymore. It just doesn't matter. What's important is that we are together now. I love you so much and the fact that I can say that out loud now means everything."_

The tears were now falling freely from Pam's eyes. _"I love you Jim. Thank you…"_

Jim leaned forward, brushed the tears away lightly with his thumb and then kissed her firmly.

Finally they pulled apart and Pam smiled brightly as Jim handed her a menu and asked, _"Now how about those pancakes?"_

After breakfast, they decided to take the ferry out to Liberty Island. Neither had ever seen the Statue of Liberty up close before. They stopped back by Pam's apartment to grab some water bottles, jackets, and Pam's camera.

They took the train to the ferry dock and then took the ferry out to the island, with Pam leaning up against the railing and Jim standing behind her, arms wrapped around her. They didn't talk much, just enjoyed the view. Every so often Jim would press a kiss against the side of her head or whisper that he loved her and every time he did Pam would go weak at the knees. They got off the ferry and took the tour of the island. The talked and laughed as they walked around after the tour. Pam snapped a couple of pictures of the skyline of the city from across the water. Then she turned and saw Jim standing back and looking up at the statue. She quickly took a picture and laughed when he turned and looked her with mock disdain.

__

"You did not just take my picture." he said walking over to her.

__

"Well I want to remember this day, when I'm old and gray." she said showing the picture to him.

__

"Well then we better get one of both of us." he said taking the camera from her hand. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. He turned the camera around and pointed it at them. "Say cheese…" he said. At the last minute Pam turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. Jim laughed as he flipped the camera back around to look at the picture. He swore that he had never seen a picture of himself where he looked so happy. He smiled at Pam and then showed her the picture.

__

"It's perfect…" he said kissing her.

They hung out a few more minutes and then went to catch the ferry back to the city. While on the ferry they asked another passenger to take a picture of them with the island and the statue in the background. Then Jim leaned up against the railing looking out at the water. Pam slid her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder, knowing that she had never before in her life felt like this.

They took the train from the ferry dock up to Times Square. Another place that neither had been too. They walked around the shops a bit, grabbed lunch at a hot dog stand and took a few more "touristy" pictures, stopping to huddle over the camera admiring each one.

Around 3:00, they took the subway back towards Pam's apartment. Natalee had left a note saying she had gone with Aidan to get some lunch and then they were going to go run some errands, but she would be back around 4:00.

Jim sank down onto the couch. Pam hung up her coat and then went to sit next to him legs curled underneath her.

__

"Do you want to watch some TV or something?" Pam asked.

__

"Sure…" Jim said stretching his legs out in front of him.

__

"Here…" she said handing him the remote. He flipped on the TV and she cuddled up next to him laying her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and she wrapped her arm across his chest. After a few minutes she leaned up and kissed his cheek, then moved down his jaw line to his neck, pressing a kiss lightly against his adams apple. He shifted slightly on the couch and turned to her catching her lips with his in such a way that made her gasp softly. She sat up a little so that he could sort of lean back against the arm of the couch, pulling her next to him. Again, he was very careful, kissing her deeply, but keeping his hands on her back or in her hair. She loved that he was so gentle with her and that just made her kiss him harder and longer. Eventually, she brought her hand to rest lightly on the waistband of his jeans. He too brought his hands down to her waist, his fingers finding their way to the bottom of her sweater. She shifted so that it caused her sweater to move up a little, causing his fingers to touch the bare skin on her stomach. She felt him tighten a little, then he let his fingers graze ever so slightly against the skin, but still didn't move any higher. She brought her hand back up and played with the collar of his shirt, dipping slightly below the collar, his skin feeling like fire beneath her fingers. The kisses were becoming more intense and they were both breathing a little harder when Pam's cell phone began to ring. She leaned back quickly and he sat up, running a hand through his hair.

__

"Sorry…" she said reaching for the phone.

__

"No…it's fine. Can I grab a drink of water?" he asked standing up, knowing that if it wasn't for the interruption of the cell phone things would have been leading somewhere else. He knew that he was so in love with Pam and wanted to share everything with her, but he also didn't want to push her too fast this soon. He walked into the kitchen as she answered the phone, knowing that Mark and Jon would both kick his ass if they knew that he was slightly relieved for the disruption.

__

"Hey Mom." Pam said, adjusting her sweater and trying not to sigh too loudly into the phone.

"_Hey sweetheart. I haven't talked to you in a few days. Just wondered how things were going. Kate said something about Jim coming to see you in New York this weekend?"_

"Oh yeah…well actually…he's here now."

"Oh! Well I didn't mean to interrupt. I just wanted to see how that was going."

Pam looked over at Jim who was pacing in the kitchen downing a glass of water.

__

"Really well. Really, really well." she said with a smile.

__

"Good…well I expect a call later on. Tell Jim that I said hello."

"I will Mom. Love you." Pam said.

__

"Love you too. Bye."

Pam flipped the phone closed and set it back on the coffee table. _"My mom says hi." _she said to Jim as he came back in to the living room.

"_Oh awesome. Tell her I say hi…when you talk to her again."_

Pam laughed, _"I will." _She noticed that he was sitting rigidly on the edge of the couch.

__

"You okay?" she asked.

__

"Oh…yeah. I just…I don't know." he ran his hand through his hair again. "_I just want you to know…that we don't need to rush anything…you know…anything…physical." _he said the last part in such a hushed whisper that Pam couldn't help but laugh.

Jim turned red, _"Okay…no need to laugh…" _he said relaxing a bit.

Pam scooted over to sit next to him. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. _"You're so sweet. I love you." _she pressed a quick kiss to his lips. _"Seriously Jim…that means a lot."_

Jim smiled and leaned back into the couch holding her tightly.

__

"So does your mom know…about this?" he asked gesturing between them.

__

"About us making out?" Pam said lightly.

Jim rolled his eyes with mock exaggeration. _"No, smart ass! About us…in general."_

"Well…she knows bits. I haven't exactly filled her in on everything yet. Don't worry though…soon she will know all about it. She was hoping it would happen."

"Well try and leaving the making out part out of it…" Jim said with a laugh.

__

"I'll see what I can do."

It was then that the front door opened and Natalee and Aidan walked in.

__

"Hi guys." Natalee said setting a shopping bag down on the floor. Pam saw Aidan cast a worried look in their direction. Jim cleared his throat and stood up.

__

"Hey man…" he stuck out his hand.

Aidan smiled, _"Hey. Glad to see you….again."_

__

"Yeah…" Jim laughed lightly, feeling that they had to clear the air now, so that they could move on and enjoy the evening. "_About…before…"_

"Man…don't even worry about it. I would have been the same way. I'm sorry for the…misperceptions on my part."

"Don't be. I'm glad that someone was there…for her." he trailed off.

__

"So we're okay?" Aidan asked, and Jim realized that he really was a good guy.

__

"Absolutely." Jim smiled. Pam stood up and wrapped her arms around Jim's waist.

"_Glad you two worked things out, because I am taking Pam and we are going into my room and turning it into a salon/dressing room. You two can hang out here and do "manly" things while we get ready_." She reached up and kissed Aidan quickly. _"Don't forget to hang up your suit."_

Pam loved the way that Aidan just smiled and squeezed her hand.

She turned and looked up at Jim, _"Guess I have to go. You'll be okay?" _she whispered.

Jim just smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. _"Absolutely." _He said.

"_So, Jim. Don't think you'd be up for a few games on the Xbox would you?" _Aidan asked, moving to sit on the couch.

__

"Oh yeah. Better be careful though…I don't want you to be intimated by how good I am." Jim said.

__

"Play nice boys." Pam laughed as she followed Natalee down the hall to her room.

Pam took a quick shower and then Natalee set to work on her hair. First she blow dried it, then straightened it and then set it in hot rollers.

__

"So…were you like a stylist in your previous life?" Pam asked. _"You're so good at this kind of stuff."_

Natalee laughed, _"Maybe…but I think its more due to the fact that I have 2 older sisters, and a mom that wouldn't let me go to school until my hair was perfect and an outfit matched all the way to my shoelaces."_

"I think my mom was lucky to get Kate and I out of the house with our hair combed, let alone a matching outfit." Pam said.

__

"I'm not quite sure about the dress though. Are you sure it isn't too much? I mean it's so not like me…at all."

"Pam, trust me. It will look amazing on you. Jim wont know what to say when he sees you."

Natalee took Pam's hair out of the rollers and set to work. She pulled half of it back loosely and secured it with a pretty clip. Then she curled her hair into soft ringlets that fell around her shoulders. Natalee stepped away from Pam so that Pam could see her hair in the mirror. Pam was surprised to see that the style that Natalee had done was almost exactly like the way that Pam had so carefully done her hair for the Casino Night. That night seemed like ages ago…almost as if it were a vague memory of someone Pam once knew. She hardly felt like the same person that she had been then. As she stared at her reflection again in the mirror she began to remember. She remembered how she had laid out of the periwinkle dress the night before and spent hours painstakingly curling her hair with the secret hope that he, not the man that she would be going with, but another man would notice. She remembered how she had tried desperately to ignore the deep burning in her stomach when he smiled at her from across the table, brushing it off as the excitement of the night and the lightness of their friendship.

__

"Do you like it?" Natalee asked breaking her thoughts.

Pam nodded. _"It's perfect."_

Pam carefully applied her makeup while Natalee got to work on her own hair. Then Natalee opened her closet and pulled out two dresses. Hers was strapless and a deep red color. She carefully hung it on the back of her door and then handed Pam the other dress. It was a beautiful deep cream colored dress that flowed softly to the ground. Pam carefully slipped it on, smoothing the satiny fabric as it fell over her.

__

"Wow…Pam." Natalee breathed. _"Jim is going to die!"_

Pam turned slowly and looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn't believe that it was really the same person staring back at her. The shy, mousy receptionist was gone and staring back at her was someone new, someone with confidence and someone that felt beautiful. Jim had done that for her, whether he knew it or not. He had always believed in her and despite the rocky path that she had taken to get to this point, she had made it and he had been waiting for her.

Pam slipped on a pair of matching heels and then waited for Natalee to finish getting ready.

__

"Ready?" Natalee asked.

__

"Yup." Pam smiled. Natalee opened the door and called out into the hallway, _"Are you boys ready? We're coming out."_

"We're ready…" they heard Aidan call. Natalee went out first and Pam took a deep breath and then followed her.

The minute she walked into the living room time stood still for Jim. He couldn't believe that the woman standing in front of him was Pam. She looked absolutely breathtaking. The dress was something that he would have never imagined she'd wear and at the same time she was still the same woman in the cardigans with frizzy hair that he was in love with. Her eyes were sparkling as she looked at him, searching his face to gauge his reaction. He placed his hand on his chest, feeling as though his heart had stopped beating at the sight of her. She walked towards him with a small smile on her face.

__

"Wow…." He finally breathed, eyes washing over her, taking her in.

__

"What do you think? Too much?" she whispered.

__

"Oh…Pam. You look…so beautiful." He reached out and gently took her hand.

She smiled brightly up at him. _"You don't look too bad yourself." _She said admiring the nice black suit and tie he was wearing.

__

"Alright…picture…" Natalee said grabbing her camera off the table. Jim wrapped his arms around Pam's waist tenderly. She placed one hand on his chest and the other around his waist.

__

"Smile!" Natalee said as she snapped the picture. Pam took one of Aidan and Natalee, and then they took one of Pam and Natalee together.

__

"You guys ready?" Aidan asked. _"The car is downstairs."_

Jim helped Pam on with the black coat that she had borrowed from Natalee and then clasped her hand as they went down to the car.

Pam was in awe the minute they pulled up to the hotel. She had never been somewhere so fancy before. Jim got out of the car first and then held out his hand to help Pam out. She smiled up at him as he gently took her hand and placed it through his arm. He leaned in close and brushed a kiss against her temple. The ballroom was decorated beautifully with flowers and candles. A seating host led them to their table. Jim helped Pam off her with coat and they sat down. Dinner was delicious and they enjoyed talking and laughing with Aidan and Natalee. After dinner had been cleared away, Aidan took Natalee out on to the dance floor.

__

"They are such a great couple." Pam said turning in her chair to look out on the dance floor.

Jim laid his hand on Pam's knee and leaned in close to her. _"He really is a great guy. Plus he is a hell of an Madden player. Luckily I was able to hold my own. Can I tell you something?"_

__

"Of course."

"Well…I guess it's kind of pointless now…but I was so relieved when you told me that you weren't dating him. I know that's weird since I was still dating…well whatever…but I was insanely jealous."

"_I'm sorry Jim. That really wasn't my intention. I just…"_

"I know Pam. You don't need to explain. It doesn't matter now."

Pam laughed and then leaned over and kissed him softly on the cheek. He looked at her and smiled. _"You really do look amazing tonight."_

"Thank you. You look great too."

At that moment a slow song started to play. Jim stood up and held out his hand to Pam. Her eyes locked with his and without saying a word she took his hand and he led her towards the dance floor. Pam remembered the hurt and emptiness that still lingered between them during the last dance they shared. How they had hung on to each other, because they knew that they were saying goodbye….even if it was only for a moment. But this dance the gap was closed and all that stretched in front of them was time…time to heal, time to grow and time to love. Pam followed Jim to the middle of the dance floor and then turned to face him. He lifted one of her small hands in his larger one and pressed it against his chest. Then he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her close. She raised her other arm and let it rest lightly on his bicep. He leaned his head down so that she could feel his breath on her ear. He began to move her slowly to the rhythm of the music. She gripped his arm tighter, loving the feel of his arms around her, the gentle way that he held her hand to his chest so that she could feel his heart beating. He loved the way that her hair smelled, loved the feel of her in his arms. He was almost certain that nothing had ever felt so right before in his whole life.

Pam leaned back slightly and gazed up at Jim. He looked down at her and smiled before leaning in and kissing her softly.

__

"I love you…" she murmured before pulling him tighter.

The rest of the night passed too quickly. Pam's side hurt from holding in laughter after watching Aidan and Jim try to do the robot. She loved how free and open she felt around Jim. Normally, she was shy about dancing; knowing full well that she looked like a dork, but Jim made her feel confident and beautiful.

After awhile they slipped out onto the balcony, faces flushed from dancing and laughing. Pam pulled her coat tightly around her and the wrapping her arms around Jim she snuggled up close to him. He dipped his head down and found her lips with his. He kissed her lips, her cheek, her ear, and her neck making her gasp lightly. She gripped the front of his coat tightly and pressed up against him. Finally they pulled apart and Pam leaned her head against his chest.

__

"Do you really have to leave tomorrow?" Pam asked, her voice muffled against his coat.

__

"No….I'm going to call in my resignation tomorrow." Jim said kissing the top of her head.

__

"Ok good." Pam laughed.

__

"I'll come back up next weekend." Jim said after a few moments.

__

"Actually this next weekend won't work." Pam said seriously. "_I have plans."_

Jim pulled back slightly and looked down at her. _"You have plans?"_

__

"Yeah. I'm going out of town to visit my boyfriend."

A smile broke across Jim's face as the realization hit him. **_He_** was Pam's boyfriend…finally.

_"You're boyfriend huh?"_

__

"Yeah, sorry I didn't tell you about him sooner. I just thought this was a fling."

"Good. I'm glad we are on the same page. I didn't know what I was going to tell my girlfriend."

"So we're agreed? This ends here?"

"Definitely, it was fun while it lasted."

Pam laughed and shivered slightly as the cold began to seep through her coat. Jim gently rubbed up and down her arms. _"You want to go back in?"_

"Yeah. I really want to see you try the robot again." Pam took his hand as he started back inside.

__

"Sorry Beesly. That was a once in a lifetime opportunity." Pam laughed and then turned back to face him as he stopped suddenly.

__

"Are you really coming down to Scranton next weekend?"

"Well, yeah…I mean you've come up here twice already. It's about time I made an effort too." She paused. "That's okay isn't it?"

Jim pulled her up to him and kissed her soundly. _"Of course it is!"_

"Ok good." Pam kissed him again and then pulled him back inside.

The car dropped Jim and Pam off at the apartment around 11:30 that night. Natalee hugged Pam goodbye and then got back in the car with Aidan. Pam waved as the car pulled away and then linked her arm through Jim's as they walked into the building.

Pam hung her coat up in the closet and then sat gingerly down at the table, carefully trying not to wrinkle her dress.

__

"That was a lot of fun." Jim said sitting down next to her.

__

"It really was. Thank you for coming."

"You…owe…me." Jim said with a smile.

"_I'm going to run a change really quick okay?"_

"Totally. Do you want me to make some you some tea or something?"

"Oh sure. That'd be great. There are tea bags in the cabinet above the stove. Thank you." She kissed him quickly on the cheek and then disappeared into her bedroom.

Jim went into the kitchen and pulled out a tea bag and found a mug. It was while he was looking for a tea pot, that he saw it, the glimmer of green on top of the fridge. He carefully pulled it down and ran his fingers over the smooth surface. He thought back to that day, when he had so carefully put the small items that held so many memories inside and then wrapped it, knowing that along with the teapot he would be giving her a tiny piece of his heart, written inside a small white card. He remembered the questions that had surged through him when she pulled it out from behind her desk and placed it on the counter. He remembered how he had fallen in love with her smile all over again when she pulled out the hidden presents. He also remembered the ache in his gut when he leaned over and took away the card, wishing with all his heart that he could tell her and even more so that she would love him back.

He was setting the teapot on the burner when he felt her arms wrap around his waist. He turned carefully and pulled her to him.

__

"Oh good. You found the teapot." She said.

__

"Yeah. It looks kind of familiar."

"Its one of my most prized possessions." She said softly, letting her eyes meet his.

__

"I'm glad." He kissed her tenderly and then said, _"I'm going to go change. I'll be right back."_

When Jim came back out into the living room, wearing his pajama pants and a t-shirt, Pam was curled up on the couch, hands wrapped around a small mug.

__

"Want to watch a movie?" She asked as he sat down next to her on the couch.

__

"Definitely." He said suppressing the burning desire to just grab and kiss her. He knew that if they started he might not be able to stop this time. She put in a movie and then lay down on the couch with her head in his lap. He softly began to stroke her hair as it spilled over his lap. After a few minutes he heard her breathing slow and steady. He carefully leaned forward and saw that her eyes were closed, a small smile on her lips. He gently brushed a kiss against her temple and whispered, _"I love you Pam."_

When the movie ended he slowly stood up, careful not to wake her. He slid one hand under her knees and wrapped the other one behind her back. He lifted her easily off the couch and carried her into her bedroom. He laid her carefully on the bed and pulled the blankets up around her. He lay down next to her, smiling at the peaceful look on her face. The minute he was in the bed she shifted and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his chest. He kissed her once more before drifting off to sleep.

Pam woke up early; the sun streaming through the window was warm on her face. She looked over at Jim, his eyes closed, chest rising and falling slowly. She reached out and swept a piece of hair off of his forehead. She kissed his cheek lightly and then climbed out of bed and went into the kitchen. She scrambled some eggs and made some bacon and toast. She poured some orange juice into two glasses and then arranged the plates and the juice on a tray. She carefully carried the tray into the bedroom and set it on the bed. Jim stirred and then opened his eyes.

__

"Good morning!" She said brightly.

Jim smiled at her and then his eyes fell on the tray. _"You made me breakfast?" _He asked sitting up.

__

"I hope you like scrambled eggs." Pam said gingerly sitting down on the bed, careful not to disrupt the tray.

__

"Thank you Pam." Jim said leaning over and kissing her sweetly.

They both sat cross-legged on the bed eating breakfast and talking. When they were finished Pam moved to clear the plates, but Jim stopped her. "You cooked, I clean." He said grasping the tray and taking it into the kitchen. Pam went out into the living room and sat down on the couch. When Jim was done he came and sat next to her pulling her legs into his lap. He loved the fact that even in sweats, a t-shirt and her hair in a messy ponytail she still looked absolutely breathtaking. The fact that she could go from a ball gown to her pajamas and still take his breath away made him love her even more.

__

"When do you have to get back?" Pam asked softly linking her hand with his.

"_I don't know. The thought of going to back to watch Dwight blow his fingernail clippings all over my desk isn't exactly one I want to dwell on. Especially when I am leaving this…" he squeezed Pam's hand. "…behind."_

"I know. I don't want you to leave. I mean we have so much lost time to make up for." Pam said.

__

"We have forever to do that." Jim said leaning over and kissing her gently.

She ran her hands through his hair as he pulled her closer and kissed her more firmly. She sighed softly as he carefully pushed her legs off his lap so that he could lean closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her, carefully cradling her head with his hand as he leaned her back on the couch. She placed her hands on his chest and then slowly slid them down to his stomach. She hesitated and then tentatively reached one finger under his t-shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin. He deepened his kisses and in turn she slid her hand farther up his shirt loving the way that his breath hitched slightly at her touch. He slowly moved one hand down to her waist, toying with the hem of her shirt. She gasped slightly when his hand made contact with her skin, causing him to pull back. She reached down and grabbed his hand, reassuring him that it was okay. He gently placed his hand on her waist, underneath her shirt, the heat of his hand on her skin made her heart pound harder. They remained that way for a few minutes, kisses becoming more rapid. As if on cue they both suddenly pulled back, gasping for air.

__

"Whoa…" Pam said after a few minutes, trying to get her breathing to return to normal.

__

"Yeah…." Jim managed to choke out. He cleared his throat, but made no movement to release his hold on her. Pam held tightly to him, absently running one hand through his hair. She knew that they were going to have to get out of the apartment or else they were going to end up having sex on her couch. As much as she loved him and as much as she wanted to share all of that with him, it wasn't exactly the romantic setting that she had imagined when she thought about their first time together. She looked at him and he seemed to be thinking the same thing, but she wasn't sure. She wanted him to know how much she wanted to do this, didn't want him to take it as a rejection. She would have gladly made love to him then and there if he told her he wanted too. But instead he slowly he sat up and pulled her with him. She kissed him again softly, almost hoping that he would understand it as an unspoken thank you.

__

"Let's go for a walk…" he said finally pulling her to her feet.

__

"Jim…." She said placing a hand on his arm so that he would turn and look at her. She didn't quite know what to say, didn't know how to explain to him without it sounding ridiculous.

__

"I…it's just…" she was interrupted by Jim's lips crushing against hers.

__

"Pam…I know." He said finally pulling away.

__

"I just really don't want you to think that I…." She started before his lips found hers again. She relaxed into his arms and sighed happily.

__

"Point taken…" she said breathlessly.

__

"Good. I love you Pam. If we've learned anything these past few years it's that there is something so much more here than just that. Please don't worry. I know. And I also know that I love you and that…" This time Jim was interrupted by Pam's lips on his.

__

"I love you too." She said smiling.

She got dressed and then sat on the couch while she waited for Jim. Her cell phone beeped and she opened it to see a new text from Natalee.

****

Have you made sweet, sweet love yet?

Pam burst out laughing as Jim came out into the living room.

__

"What's so funny?" he asked looking at the red flush that stained her cheeks.

__

"Nothing…" Pam said quickly closing her phone. She didn't even want to begin to have to explain this to him.

"_Doesn't look like nothing?"_

"Well if you must know, it was Dwight wanting to know how our prank on you is going." Pam said standing up and walking over to him.

__

"Well in that case, I'm going to get going and leave with to your one true love…Dwight" he said heading toward the door. She reached out and grabbed his arm and he turned and winked at her before taking her hand and pulling her out the door.

They spent the rest of the morning walking around the city, just holding hands and savoring the remaining time they had together. They were sitting at a table in the café around when corner eating lunch when Jim's phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket. He flipped it open and saw a text from Jonathan.

****

Want to grab some food?

He quickly texted back **I'm in New York. Call you in a while**

__

"Dwight?" Pam asked taking a sip of her lemonade.

__

"Actually it was Phyllis. She wanted to know when I'd be back so we could hook up later." he said frankly.

__

"Touché…" Pam said smiling.

Eventually they made their way back to the apartment. Pam sat cross legged on the bed while Jim packed his bag. She had to keep blinking her eyes to ward off the tears that she could feel forming. Jim zipped up his bag and then sat down on the bed next to her. She linked her hand in his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"_What time do you think you'll be able to come down on Friday?"_ he asked.

__

"Well, if I will probably be able to finish some work early and then I can miss my last couple classes. I can probably head down around 2:00. Do you think you might be able to get off a bit early?"

"Hmm…I'll have to see. You know how busy I get during the day." Jim laughed.

They sat in silence for a long time, not wanting to say goodbye. Finally, Jim glanced at his watch. _"I better get going." _he said quietly.

__

"Okay…" Pam said standing up slowly. They walked down to his car and Pam stood on the sidewalk while he put his bag in the car. He turned towards her and folded her into his arms.

__

"Drive safely okay?" she said burying her face in his neck, placing a soft kiss against his Adams apple.

__

"I'll see you on Friday." He pulled back and gently cupped her face in his hands. _"I love you Pam."_

"I love you too Jim. I love you so much." She leaned up and kissed him firmly. _"Call me when you get home. Oh…and make sure that you tell Phyllis I said hello."_

Jim smiled, loving the caring in her voice.

__

"Will do…" He kissed her once more and slowly turned and climbed into his car. It took almost all of his willpower to get into his car and pull away from her. He waved and then he was gone.

Pam watched his car drive away and then brushing a tear from her cheek walked slowly back inside.


	15. Chapter 15

-1Pam rolled over in bed and opened her eyes. She slowly ran her hand over the empty pillow on the other side of the bed. She tried to ignore the hollow feeling inside as she remembered what it felt like to have the space filled by him. He had called her Sunday night when he had got back to Scranton and tried really hard not to cry when she hung up because she instantly missed hearing his voice. She never thought that she would be that girl. She wasn't a girl that wore her emotions on her sleeve. Those years with Roy had caused her to take those emotions and bury them deep inside of herself, because the sad truth was that Roy didn't care…or if he did care he never showed it. Towards the end of her relationship with Roy, she almost looked forward to the times when he would say he was going out so that she could be alone. She would rather he be gone at times because then at least she could be herself, do the things that were important to her. When he was out getting drunk or playing poker, she was sketching or painting and she felt complete…at least almost complete. Part of her newfound self discovery was based upon the fact that she realized that Jim had always held a piece of her heart. It was during these last few weeks that she began to understand how easy it was going to be to keep her "fancy new Beesly" status and to also share her life with someone. This was what people meant when they said that when you love someone you bring out the best in them. Jim brought out the best in her by his quiet encouragement and unwavering love.

She got out of bed, showered, ate breakfast and then her and Natalee went to class. That night at home Pam worked feverishly on her homework, knowing that she had to get it finished so that she could leave early on Friday.

Around 10:30 she finally looked away from her computer and rubbed her tired eyes. She went out into the living room where Natalee was sitting with her laptop typing away furiously.

"_Hey..." _Pam said sinking down onto the couch.

"_Hey…" _Natalee said setting the laptop on the coffee table.

"_My computer screen was starting to blur." _Pam said.

"_I know…I can't believe how busy things are getting." _Natalee stretched out her legs and then turned to Pam. _"I feel like we haven't talked in a few days! What's going on?"_

"_Well I'm going down to Scranton this weekend."_

"_Great! That will be fun!"_

"_This long distance thing is hard. How do you and Aidan do it?"_

"_Well…it is hard. I guess we've just been doing it for so long that I'm just used to it by now."_

"_I guess I shouldn't complain. We've only been doing it for a few weeks."_

"_That doesn't mean that it's not hard. Aidan and I have been together since our senior year in college. We've had a chance to do the relationship, always together every single day, thing. You and Jim are just starting. But I see the way that he looks at you. And the way you look at him! I know you guys will be totally fine."_

"_Thank you." _Pam said leaning forward and giving Natalee a quick hug. _"I hope so."_

"_Trust me. You will."_

They talked for a few minutes more and then went to bed. Pam brought the blanket up to her face, loving the fact that his scent still lingered.

The next morning, she was working on categorizing some paintings when the art director called her into her office.

"_Pam, you've been doing a great job these past few weeks." _She said as Pam sat down.

"_Oh thank you. This has been such an amazing opportunity."_

"_I'm glad. Well listen, the reason I called you in here is because we are trying to give the interns a chance to experience what its like to head up a show from start to finish. I wanted to see what you would think about taking the leading on organizing the Gustave Courbet exhibit, for the show in a few weeks."_

'_Oh wow…"_ said Pam. _"That would be incredible."_

"_You would be in charge of the other interns and would focus mainly on getting the pieces prepped and organized for the show."_

Pam felt the nerves start to bubble within her. She had never been a take charge kind of a girl, but the prospect of doing something like this was exciting to her.

"_That sounds great." _She said finally. _"I would love to do that."_

"_Glad to hear it. Now, my secretary has all the paperwork that you'll need. Good luck! You'll do great!"_

"_Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity."_

Pam left the office and stopped by the reception area for the paperwork. Then she went back down to the offices where she and Natalee had been working.

"_Which one did you get?" _Natalee asked when Pam walked back into the room.

"_The Gustave Courbet exhibit"_

"_Oh wow! Pam that is great!"_

"_I can't believe this. I couldn't even man the table at the student run bake sale in 6th grade. How am I going to manage this?"_

"_Oh come on! You are going to great. You know what to do. Plus, it's not like you'll be totally alone. You can boss Aaron and I around." _She said nodding her head toward the other intern that was sitting in the corner surrounded by paper.

Pam laughed thankful for the reassurance that Natalee brought her. When she got home that night she made herself a cup of tea and then curled up on her bed to call Jim.

"_Hey!" _he said and she immediately smiled when she heard his voice.

"_How was your day?"_

"_Oh you know. Same old stuff. Dwight decided to quarantine Meredith for the day since he learned on wikipedia that alcoholism is a disease and that Dunder Mifflin could not stay afloat if they lost another worker to this "illness"."_

"_Oh my gosh that's great." _Pam said laughing.

"_Yeah, I convinced him that in order to make a true impression on Meredith he was going to have to go collect pamphlets and information from around town. He was gone the rest of the afternoon."_

"_Wow…nice work."_

"_Thank you. I miss my pranking partner though."_

"_I know. I haven't been a part of a good prank for so long."_

"_We'll have to fix that when you come back." _Jim paused. _"I mean if you come…are you coming back here?"_

Pam sat quietly for a few minutes. She had been so caught up in the newness of this relationship that she hadn't thought about what would happen when the internship ended and she would have a choice to make. She knew though that whatever decisions needed to be made that she wanted to make them with Jim by her side.

"_Pam?" _Jim asked interrupting her thoughts.

"_Oh sorry…I was just…." _She trailed off.

"_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to spring anything on you."_

"_No, no. Its okay. I mean we really should talk about this sooner or later. The thing is that I don't know what will happen after the internship. I mean as far as career type things go. But I do know that I hope that it will be a decision that we can make together."_

Jim was silent for a long time and Pam began to fear that she had said something wrong.

Luckily the momentary panic was replaced with reassurance when he said simply, _"Then we will."_

_"Really?" _Pam asked, wondering if he could hear the huge grin that stretched across her face.

"_Of course Pam. I've always wanted that. I just didn't want to…I don't know…scare you…I guess."_

_"Jim, in a way this has been like 4 years in the making. I mean this is it for me. This…you and me…this is what I want."_

Jim was quiet again for a few seconds. When he finally responded his voice was soft and deep and husky. _"Me too Pam. I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

Pam went to bed that night confused by the fact that she could feel so happy and complete and yet still feel like a piece of her was missing, 123 miles away.

Jim woke up early Wednesday morning. He showered, got dressed and drove into work. It was Jonathan's birthday and he was hoping to be able to leave a bit early to meet his family for dinner in Dunmore.

He was sitting at his desk getting some papers ready for a sales call he had later that morning when Dwight came into the office.

_"What are you doing here this early? You're never here this early." _Dwight said suspiciously.

"_I had things to do Dwight." _Jim said not looking up from his desk.

"What did you do?" Dwight said cautiously approaching his desk. He carefully poked a stack of papers as if it would explode if he touched it. He twisted his desk chair and then gingerly sat down rigidly. Jim smirked as he watched Dwight carefully pull out his drawers and flip through the contents. Sometimes it was just easier for Dwight to think that Jim had done something because then he was quiet, busily searching for whatever he thought Jim might have done.

Around 10:00 Jim left for his sales call. He climbed into his car and as he pulled out of the parking lot his cell phone beeped signally a text message.

** Good luck on your sales call. Make sure you shell out some of that Halpert charm. I love you**

He nailed the sale and texted Pam as he drove back to the office.

**Looks like the charm works on more than just you**

He worked quickly, trying desperately to ignore the skeptical looks from Dwight that made him want to bug him in some way. He also noticed himself glancing over at reception a lot, warranting peculiar looks from Ryan. Even though it had been a few months since had seen the familiar curly hair behind the reception desk he still expected to hear "Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam" when the phone rang and it made him miss her.

At 4:00 he packed up his things and pulled his jacket on.

"_JIM! As Michael's right hand man, it is my job to make sure all of his employees stay here under his watch. Where are you going?" _Dwight asked.

"_I'm leaving." _Jim said as he shouldered his messenger bag.

_"Then I am going to have to write you up Jim. If you leave early, then everyone else will start thinking that they can leave early and then how will this place run?"_

_"That is actually a really good question Dwight. Wow…I never thought of that before."_

_"Well that is the difference between you and me Jim. I think about the good of the company, where as you just think about what's good for yourself."_

_"Oh man. You're so right. Well I am going to start thinking about other people starting now. And on that note…I hope you find it."_

_"Find what?"_

Jim looked pointedly at Dwight's desk before turning and walking out of the office, Dwight yelling after him.

He called Pam as he drove to his house, but only got her voice mail.

"Hey. Just hoping I could catch you in between class. I'm heading out to meet my parents for dinner. I'll call you later tonight. I love you."

He ran inside and quickly threw on a sweater and some jeans before climbing back into his car. He pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant at the same time as his parents, Anne and James.

_"Hi honey." _His mom said pulling him into a hug.

_"Hey!" _Jim smiled as he wrapped his arms around his mom.

Anne Halpert had a special relationship with her youngest child. The one that had her eyes and his father's mischievous smile. Jim had always been a precocious child, getting into mischief and then flashing that smile, making his mothers heart melt. She had been worried about Jim for a long time. She had heard a lot about Pam. About her smile, their jokes, the pranks, the feelings Jim had for her. She also heard about how he had given her his heart and she had broken it. Anne was a very kind woman. She knew that Pam hadn't broken her son's heart on purpose, she truly believed that. But seeing her usually carefree and happy son broken made her hurt deep inside. He didn't talk much about what had happened that night or the nights after that. He had called her that weekend and told her that he had accepted a position in Stamford and was moving. She could hear the hurt in his voice, the emptiness, but she went against her motherly instinct and simply said, _"Okay." _

She had never met Karen. She actually had heard very little about her. Jim had said he was happy, but there was still something missing in his eyes, in his smile. He never said much about what had happened when he moved back to Scranton, at least not to her. She suspected that he probably told Jonathan more and she was grateful that her sons had that kind of relationship. Then one morning she had been sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading the paper when the phone began to ring.

_"Hi Mom." _She smiled at the sound of Jim's voice on the other end.

"_Hi honey. What are you doing up so early on a Saturday?"_

_"Well…I am actually driving up to New York."_

_"New York? Why?"_

_"I am going to see Pam."_

There was a long pause before Anne finally said, "_You're going where?"_

_"I am going up to New York to see Pam."_

_"Does she know your coming?"_

_"Um…no actually."_

Anne paused again, unsure of what to say. She knew that Jim was an adult and perfectly capable of making his own choices, but she couldn't control the motherly instinct that wanted to protect her now grown children from any sort of pain.

He had explained briefly about the wedding and how he and Karen had broken up. He told her about the phone call from Pam's sister, the e-mails and how he knew that if he didn't try one more time he would regret it.

"_I can't explain it mom. Something's changed and I just need to…see what it is."_

_"Jim…" _Anne began.

_"I know mom." _He said softly.

_"I just don't want to see you get hurt again."_

_"It's going to be okay mom. I will be okay."_

Now, as they stood in the parking lot of the restaurant Anne embraced her son and then searched his face for answers. She had seen him the night after he returned from New York at a family party, but there had been so much going on that she hadn't gotten the chance to talk with him.

_"How are you?" _She asked pointedly.

Jim flashed his familiar smile. _"What are you asking exactly mom?"_

_"I've only talked to you twice since you went to New York and…I just want to see how you are doing."_

_"Well, I am doing good. Fantastic actually."_ Then Anne saw it. The spark in his eyes, the happy demeanor that her son had always possessed, had returned.

_"Good." _She whispered hugging him again.

She was however still very curious about what had happened to make him change. What had happened between the phone call and now? Jim could tell that his mom's mind was racing, that a million thoughts and questions were on the tip of her tongue. He just smiled at her, as if to reassure her and then led the way into the restaurant. Once inside they sat down at a table. Anne couldn't take her eyes off of him. He was laughing and joking with his dad about something and seemed so much like his old self that she wanted desperately to believe that everything truly was okay. Soon Jake and the third Halpert sibling Larissa joined them. Dinner was great. Everyone was having a great time. Every so often Anne would catch Jake's eye and they would glance over at Jim, both thinking the same thing.

After the waiter had cleared they plates, Jake, James and Larissa went to play some pool leaving Jim and Anne at the table. Anne couldn't wait any longer.

"_Alright…you have to fill me in here." _she said finally.

_"What do you mean?" _Jim said feigning innocence.

"_Jim. I know you haven't forgotten about all that happened last year."_

_"Of course I haven't forgotten about it." _He said focusing on stirring his drink with his straw. It was a times like these that Anne could see Jim as he was when he was a child and teenager. She had always relished in the fact that Jim would come home at night after hanging out with his friends or a date and would sit on her bed and just talk to her about nothing and everything. After he started working for Dunder Mifflin he would call her and tell her about his week, and the weird guy that sat next to him and most of all Pam. She could hear the disappointment in his voice when he told her that Pam was engaged, but he brushed it off as nothing. One thing that Anne knew about her son was that he was a good person. He had a good, kind heart and would never to anything to cause someone he cared about pain. He continued to tell him mom about Pam, but whenever she would suggest that it was anything more he would just sigh and say they were just friends, reiterating the fact that she was engaged.

After he moved to Stamford he was different. He would still call her for their weekly chats, but it wasn't the same. He told her about work, but just the basics. He told her that he was moving back to Scranton when the Stamford branch was closed and she asked him how he felt about it. He had muttered quietly, "Scared" and then changed the subject. He had told her that he had started to date Karen, but was very ambivalent about bringing her to meet his family.

_"What happened?" _she asked again, gently.

Jim proceeded to tell her about Phyllis's wedding and how he and Pam had started talking again afterwards. Then he told her about going to New York and the day they had spent in Central Park.

_"So…you're dating now?"_

_"Yes. We are. And mom? I've never been happier."_

_"Honey, I am so glad. You seem happier. It's just…how do you know…" _Anne trailed off, unsure of how to ask the next question.

"_I cant explain mom. This is everything that I have wanted."_

_"Well, then if you are happy than I am happy." _Anne smiled and Jim stood up to hug her.

Later, when they were in the parking lot saying goodbye Anne said to Jim, _"Bring Pam over soon. We need to meet her."_

_"I will. Definitely."_ Jim said with a smile, not noticing the look on Jake's face.

Jim waved as his parents pulled out of the parking lot and then turned to look at his brother.

_"So…what was that about?" _Jake asked.

_"What?"_

_"About bringing Pam over for dinner? You're dating Pam?"_

_"I thought you knew that already. You knew I went up to New York to see her."_

Jake was quite for a minute and then shook his head.

"_What the hell are you doing man?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"This girl broke your heart. More than once. What makes you think she wont do it again. I thought you were moving past all of that. Even if it wasn't with Karen."_

_"Its different now Jake."_

_"How do you know that? I mean how do you honestly know that? You pined after her for years, Jim…YEARS. And what did that get you? Nothing but a handful of memories and a broken heart. Do you have any idea what you were like after that happened? I've never seen you like that before…ever. She told you she couldn't love you then Jim. What makes you think that its going to work this time. You don't need that. You're too good for that. You need someone that appreciates you and loves you the way that you would love them."_

_"Um…wow. I had no idea you had this much depth." _Jim said sarcastically.

"_Don't be an ass Jim."_

Jim was starting to get angry. _"What do you mean don't be an ass? You're standing here telling me that my relationship is going to fail. Out of anyone Jon you should understand the hell that I have been through and now I am happy…I am finally really happy and you are making it sound like she is just going to use me and leave me. She didn't use me before. We were friends…best friends, but she was engaged. And yes I was in love with her and I told her and it didn't work out then, but things have changed. It's all changed. I would think that as my friend…and more importantly as my brother you could be happy for me." _Jim turned around and walked to his car.

_"Jim…"_ Jake called after him, but Jim just got into his car and drove away.

--

Thursday was a busy day for Pam. She went in early to the museum to get started on things. The art show was in a week and she was nervous about whether or not she would be able to get everything done. The morning passed quickly as Pam marked paintings and labeled sculptures. Natalee and Aaron, the other intern, were working furiously along side her. When the finally took a break for lunch Pam was feeling a little bit better about the progress they had made. She was sitting in the break room with Natalee when her cell phone rang.

_"Hey!" _she said as she answered the phone.

_"Hey…" _Jim said quietly.

_"What's wrong?" _Pam said.

"_Oh…nothing."_

_"Jim…" _Pam pressed gently.

_"I just kind of got into a thing with my brother last night. We've never had a major argument, so this kind of sucks."_

_"I'm sorry Jim. Do you want to talk about it?"_

Jim hesitated and then said, _"No…it'll be okay. Just tell me something Pam."_

_"What?"_

_"Tell me that you love me."_

Pam smiled, _"I love you Jim. I love you so much."_

_"Good. I love you too." _

_"Are you sure you're okay?"_

_"Yeah. I'm fine. Look I better get back. I'll see you tomorrow right?"_

_"Absolutely. I can't wait."_

_"Okay. Bye Pam."_

Pam hung up the phone and took a last bite of her sandwich before following Natalee back to the work room. They worked until about 9:30 that night finally finishing the majority of the big projects they had to do. Pam wiped her hand across her forehead and sighed happily.

_"Wow. We did it. We might actually be ready for next week."_

_"You're pretty good at this take-charge kind of stuff." Natalee laughed as they walked out of the museum._

_"Thanks. Not sure if I'll be making a habit out of it though. It's a lot of work!"_

When they got home Pam went into her room to pack. Finally around 11:00 she collapsed exhausted into bed, excited for the prospect of tomorrow. The next morning she got up early. She spent extra time on her hair and pulled on a nice pair of black pants and cute top. She packed her bags in the car and hurried to the corporate office where the art classes were held. She was able to finish her projects earlier than she expected. She quickly packed up her bag, said a quick goodbye to Natalee and headed out to her car. She made good time, driving into Scranton shortly before 3:00. She took the familiar route to Dunder Mifflin and pulled into the parking lot.

--

Jim was sitting at his desk, typing up information on a new client when his cell phone buzzed. He smiled when he saw that it was a text message from Pam.

**Bad news…I think my drivers license fell out of purse in your car. I cant find it anywhere. I don't think I can come down."**

Jim's heart dropped. He had been looking forward to this all week. Then he got another text.

**Do you think you could go look in your car? Just to make sure.**

Jim stood up and slowly walked out of the office. First he had the whole thing with Jonathan and now this. He walked out of the elevator and pushed open doors. A huge smile broke across his face when he saw her, leaning up against his car.

He walked quickly towards her. "_So you lost your license huh?"_

_"Yeah. I just don't know where it could be."_ She said with an innocent look on her face.

Then he was there, in front of her and he gently cupped her face in his hands and kissed her firmly, loving the way that her hands instantly found their way to his hair, gently wrapping her fingers in it.

_"So when can you get out of here?" _she asked when they finally pulled apart.

_"Just give me 5 minutes." _He kissed her again and then hurried back inside.

Less than 5 minutes later he was back with his jacket and bag, smiling as he walked towards her.

_"What did you tell them?" _she asked as he approached.

_"That I got a freak stomach virus. I asked Dwight to figure out what it was and to give me a call when he knew more."_

Pam giggled and then pulled him to her to kiss him again.

_"Ready to get out of here?" _he asked pulling away and smoothing a curl away from her forehead.

_"Definitely." _She kissed him again and then they each climbed into their cars and she followed him out of the parking lot. When they pulled up to his house, he hopped out of his car and ran over to open her door for her. She then opened her trunk and he grabbed her suitcase in one hand and her hand in the other. He unlocked the front door and led her inside.

_"It looks the same." _She said looking around while he set her bag down on the floor.

_"Yeah I was a little bummed that Mark didn't redecorate while I was gone. In fact I'm not even sure that he ever cleaned either."_

_"Jim Halpert…paper salesman and housekeeper?" _She said with a smirk.

_"Something like that." _He laughed pulling her into his arms. _"Man, I missed you."_

_"I missed you too." _

He pulled her down on to the couch and wrapped his arm around her. She leaned back against his chest and laced her fingers through his. She sighed happily as his other found her hair and began to stroke it softly.

_"This week has been so crazy." _She said. She proceeded to tell him about the art show and all the work they had done that week.

_"Wow Pam. That is great!"_ he said genuinely. _"The show will be amazing."_

_"You have to say that cause you're my boyfriend…" _Pam said in a singsong voice making Jim smile.

"Well obviously…" Jim said pressing a kiss on the top of her head. They sat in silence for awhile, just enjoying the feel of being in each other arms. Pam ran her hand lightly up and down Jim's arm making his heart race.

"_So did you really think that I wasn't coming down?" _Pam asked.

_"Yeah. But then I remembered that I have Phyllis as a backup."_ He said seriously.

Pam laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm. _'Keep saying that I might actually start believing it."_

_"I would never trade you in Pam." _He said kissing her again, then added softly, _"I've waited too long for this."_

Pam sat up, turned towards him and then throwing her arms around his neck kissed him firmly.

_"What was that for?" _He said breathlessly when she pulled away.

She whispered, _"Everything…" _and then leaned in and kissed him again.

He kissed her firmly, yet slowly as if they had all the time in the world. He smoothed his hand over her hair, letting the silky curls slide through his fingers. He gently pulled away, only to move his mouth from her lips to her cheek to her ear and then to her neck. She sighed softly as felt his lips warm on her neck. She pressed slightly into him, trailing her fingers from his hair and then down his shoulders to skim slightly across his chest.

_"I love you…" _she said breathlessly as his lips found hers again. All thoughts that Jim had of taking it slow were quickly fading from his mind as he felt her hands move slowly down his chest and tug slightly at his shirt that was still tucked in. He pulled back slowly and his eyes met hers, almost as if to ask her what she wanted him to do next. She responded by standing up and then grabbing his hand pulled him up to stand next to her. He looked down at her and she nodded slightly, amazed at the fact that they could have full conversations without saying a word. He smiled and then pulled her towards his bedroom. He closed the door and then turned to face her. He moved towards her and reached out and touched her face, sliding his other arm around her waist, pulling her to him. He gently kissed her forehead and then leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. She lifted her eyes up to meet his and the look in her eyes took his breath away. It was the way that he had wished she would look at him for years, with love and all of the promise of the future. She tilted her head up kissed him wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her close, pressing his body up against hers. After a few minutes she dropped her hands down to his waist and slowly tugged at his shirt. He placed his hand behind her back and without removing his lips from hers walked her backwards until her knees hit the side of his bed. She pulled back slightly and then locking her eyes with his brought her hands back up to undo the buttons on his shirt. He stood there, hands resting lightly on her waist, looking into her eyes while she worked her way down his shirt. She pushed the shirt off of his shoulders, eyes widening a little when she saw his bare chest. It was like nothing she expected. She had always thought of him as a bit lanky and skinny, but she was pleasantly surprised at how muscular he actually was, his skin smooth and firm. She reached her hand up to touch the sprinkling of chest hair, but then pulled it back suddenly, lowering her eyes to the floor and blushing at how forward she was being. He reached up to place his hand under her chin and tilted it up so that she was looking at him. Then he took her hand and placed it back on his chest. She smiled, loving how safe and confident he made her feel. He kissed her again running his hands down her arms to the hem of her shirt, pausing as if to let her take the next step. She lifted her arms up above her head allowing him to grip the bottom of her shirt and pull it up over her head.

_"Oh Pam…" _he breathed as his eyes took her in. She had never had anyone make her feel so beautiful and wanted before. She was sure that she was blushing furiously, but she didn't let her eyes leave his. He began to kiss her again, pulling her close, pulse quickening at the feel of her skin against his. He moved to lay her gently down on the bed, and then lay down next to her, whispering "I love you…" before finding her mouth with his again. Their kisses were deep, almost frantic, as if they couldn't get enough. They were enjoying this newfound closeness, feeling the heat of each others skin beneath their fingertips.

Pam was initially surprised by how gentle and attentive Jim was with her, not because of any reason other than since her prior experience with sex had always been extremely one sided. But then she realized that he had always been like that. He had always put her feelings ahead of anything else, whether it was something small like getting Michael to change her Dundie award or pushing her to become a better version of herself. He didn't rush her, didn't push, he almost treated her like was delicate and would break if he pushed too fast. His hands were everywhere, gently trailing over her skin, making her gasp lightly. Looking down at her, seeing her curls fanned lightly across his pillow, made his heart beat wildly. He was so in love with her it hurt.

She wanted to show him that she loved him as much as he deserved to be loved. She wanted to make sure that he knew that she wanted to give every part of herself to him. She deepened her kisses, biting gently on his bottom lip. Then she reached down and began working on undoing his belt. She had never felt this in control before. After a few years of being with Roy, sex had become almost like a chore. With him it was get in/get out, never worrying about what she got out of it. It had lost the intimacy factor, which was what she had liked most about sex. He didn't hold her or look into her eyes. It had become a very lonely experience for Pam. She began looking forward to nights when he would be out late and come back too drunk to function. It was at times like these that she imagined what it would be like to be with Jim, to share that part of herself with him. Sometimes when she was sure Roy was asleep she would go into the bathroom, lock the door and sit curled up in the bathtub, shoulders shaking with silent tears as she envisioned the life she had settled for. Sometimes she would think about how Jim would know something was wrong with her without her having to say anything. But with Roy, she practically had to scream and throw things at him to get his attention. But that was then. Now she had gained a confidence that was all her own and she wanted Jim to benefit from that. She wanted to let him know that she wasn't a delicate flower that was going to break. She had worked too hard to change that part of herself and she wanted to, had to, prove that to him and to herself. Now, in his bed, with him she could feel the new, confident Pam begin to take over. She moved so that she was slightly on top of him, kissing him long and deep.

She looked deep into his eyes and gently pushed a piece of hair off of his forehead, _"I love you Jim."_ she whispered breathless against his ear. _"I just need to show you…" _she trailed off when his lips crushed against hers. When he finally entered her it was slow and gentle, making her pulse quicken. He moved slightly, to try and make them both more comfortable and in the process smacked his head against hers.

Jim winced slightly and said, _"I'm sorry. I was doing this a lot better in my head" _

Pam laughed softly, but then he moved again and her laugh was cut off, replaced by a soft moan that started deep in her throat.

Pam lay still, head on Jim's chest, one leg curled around his. His arms were wrapped around her, one hand lazily stroking her hair. They had been laying that way for almost an hour, savoring what had just happened between them. It had been one of the most, if not the most intimate moments of Pam's life. For a brief moment they were one and whatever hurt that might of still lingered between them was gone, erased by a kiss, a moan, a whispered I love you. Pam sighed happily, snuggling closer to him.

_"How's your head?" _he whispered in her ear.

Before Pam could stop herself she quickly blurted out, _"That's what she said." _Her hand immediately flew to her mouth, and she dissolved into laughter.

Jim pulled back slightly so that could peer down at her, a look of surprise on his face.

_"Wow..." _He said laughing. _"We'll talk about that later."_

_"I can't believe I just said that." _she laughed.

_"Well Fancy New Beesly is just full of surprises." _He said before pulling her back towards him.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck and pressed a few soft kisses up to his jaw line. She was still in a bit of shock over the fact that she had just slept with Jim. It had been like nothing she had ever experienced before. The feel of him, the way he touched her, the way he breathed "I love you" into her ear as he moved above her made her fall even more in love with him. The look in his eyes as he brought her to the edge was one that she knew she would remember forever.

Jim turned his head towards hers, breathing in the flowery vanilla scent of her hair. A thousand different emotions were running through his body all at once. He had just had sex with Pam…_**Pam, **_the curly haired receptionist with the clever wit and amazing smile that had owned his heart from that first lunch at Cuiginos. He had thought about this moment wondering what her hair would smell like and what it would be like to hold her and look into her eyes. In those dark hours when he felt like his heart would never heal, he would still hold on to a small shred of hope that maybe one day, she would be lying here in his arms, just like this. He trailed his fingers down her arms and over her back, loving the feel of her soft skin.

Jim leaned down to kiss her, but started laughing instead when a huge rumbling sound came from Pam's stomach.

_"Are you trying to tell me something?" _he asked.

_"Well I think the last time I ate was yesterday." _she said with a laugh, sitting up and pulling the sheet around her. The sun was coming through the blinds and caught her hair, making it glow.

_"Wow…" _he whispered, causing Pam to turn her head to look at him.

"_What?" _she asked.

_"Nothing. It's just…your beautiful." _He said rubbing his hand lightly over her bare back.

_"Are you just saying that to get out of buying me dinner?" _she asked with a flicker of a smile.

"_Crap…you caught me." _He said shrugging his shoulders.

_"Sorry…you're not getting out of buying me a pizza that easily." _She laughed.

_"Fine…" _Jim grumbled. _"Besides…there is somewhere I wanted to take you."_

_"Where?"_

_"Can't tell you…it's a secret."_

_"Oh, I am intrigued all ready."_

Jim sat up in bed, stretching his legs over the side. Then he stood up and pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt. Pam sat in the bed watching him get dressed, a smile spreading slowly across her face. Everything felt so right and she knew what it was like to be truly happy. When Jim was dressed he turned back around and saw the huge smile on Pam's face.

_"What?" _he asked.

_"Nothing…" _she said, unable to stop the smile from spreading even farther.

_"Well look Beesly, you were the one that said you were starving. I was perfectly content to stay in bed for the rest of the weekend."_

Pam picked up the pillow that was next to her and hurled it at him.

_"I'm sure you were." _She said laughing. Then she crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around him, pressing soft kisses against his neck. He smiled at her laughter as he slid his arms around her and pulled her back down onto the bed.

Eventually they got out of the bed, got dressed and made their way to his car, driving towards the pizza place. Jim ran in and grabbed the pizza and some soda, then got back into the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

_"Where are we going?"_ am asked reaching for his hand.

_"I didn't realize you were so impatient." _Jim said.

_"Just tell me!" _Pam said exaggeratedly sticking out her bottom lip.

_"How old are you?" _Jim asked.

A few minutes later the pulled into the parking lot of Nay Aug park. Jim turned off the car and then shifted in his seat to look at Pam.

_"I always loved coming here when I was a kid. My mom would bring us swimming or to feed the ducks." _He said. _"Then I used to come here a lot…back when…well before…this." _

"_Really?" _Pam asked quietly.

"_Yeah…I just needed to come somewhere…I don't know..." _Jim stopped.

"_What…" _Pam asked gently.

"_Somewhere that wasn't so complicated…I guess." _Jim continued after a moment. _"I was so…confused about everything…with you and I just needed to go somewhere that I wasn't reminded of you. But then I'd come here and it was so beautiful and I just thought about you more."_

Jim looked at Pam and noticed the sad look that was in her eyes.

"_Hey…" _he said quickly reaching over and taking her hand. _"I didn't want to tell you that you upset you or bring anything up. I wanted to tell you that because I am so happy that now you are here with me and I can replace those memories with new ones."_

Pam smiled, then leaned over and kissed him sweetly on the lips. They climbed out of the car; Jim grabbed the pizza, sodas and handed a blanket to Pam. They walked down the pathway and over a bridge stopping in front of the reflecting pool.

Pam spread the blanket out on the grass and they sat down. Jim handed Pam a piece of pizza and a napkin and then grabbed a slice for himself.

_"This is so beautiful." _Pam said taking a bite of her pizza and looking out over the water. _"I can't believe that in all the time I've lived in Scranton I've never been here."_

They sat for a long time, eating pizza, talking and laughing.

_"So, how much longer is the internship?"_ Jim asked when they were done eating.

_"It goes into the first week of May. Then we have this huge final project due where we have to pick 4 of our favorite artists and recreate a piece of their work using different types of techniques. I've already started working on two of them, but I am stuck on the other two."_ Pam said throwing her napkin into the empty pizza box. Jim was lying on his back on the blanket, his legs stretched out in front of him. Pam scooted closer to him and lay down in the crook of his arm, resting her head on his chest. She loved the way that he instantly wrapped his free arm around her pulling her tight.

_"Have you given any thought to what you want to do after the internship is over?" _

_"Not really. I just assumed that I would come back to work."_

_"What about opportunities with all the art stuff you've been doing?"_ Jim said running his hand softly up and down her arm.

"_I don't know, nothings been mentioned. I guess I'll have to think about it if anything even comes up."_

_"I'm sure something will come along. I mean obviously you've been doing a great job…and you love it. You owe it to yourself to pursue it."_

_"So what happens if an opportunity does come up? What happens with us? I don't want to do this long distance thing any longer than absolutely necessary." _

_"Me either." _Jim said. He appreciated the fact that Pam was being so honest and straightforward.

Pam continued, _"The only thing that I know is that I am in love with you and I am not going to lose you again. We'll work this out together right?"_

Her words made Jim smile and he pressed a soft kiss against her hair as he said, _"Absolutely. Whatever it is, we will definitely figure it out together."_

They lay there in silence for several minutes, watching the sunset over the pool. Pam shivered slightly and Jim lifted his head up to look down at her.

_"You're cold." _He said. _"Are you ready to go?"_

_"I'd love to stay longer, but this sweater doesn't provide much warmth." _ Pam said sitting up. Jim stood up and pulled her to her feet. Jim smiled as he looked down at her. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were pink from the cold.

_"What?" _she said laughing slightly when she saw the huge smile on his face.

He reached out slowly and took her hand in his. "_Nothing. I just…sometimes I still cant believe this is happening."_

Pam wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed a kiss against his neck. _"I cant believe it either."_ She paused for a few minutes and then said, _"Jim, before we go…there something… I just need to say something." _

_"Okay…"_

_"I shouldn't have been with Roy. And there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is that I didn't care about any of those reasons until I met you. That night…when you told me…that you loved me." _Pam could feel her eyes filling up with tears, but she continued. _"I wanted to tell you…so badly. I never wanted to let you walk away. I was such a coward. I think deep down I think I always knew that I loved you. I mean how could I not? You've done more for me in the few years you've known me, then anyone else in my life, except for my parents. I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being my best friend, for supporting me, for making me laugh and for loving me…even when I didn't deserve it."_ She sniffed and then smiled slightly.

Jim didn't say anything, just gently took her face in his hands and kissed her, slowly and deeply. Pam just stood there, tears falling slowly down her face, reveling in the warmth of his kiss.

He pulled back and looked at her, hands never leaving her face. He swept his thumbs across her cheeks wiping away the tears.

_"Pam…" _he said softly, not quite sure what to say. _"Thank you. That means…everything to me."_ He leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose and then sighed happily as she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

"_Where's Mark this weekend?" _Pam asked as Jim opened his front door and stepped aside to let her in.

_"He went to Hershey to visit his girlfriends parents." _He said dropping his keys on the table. _"He'll probably be back tomorrow."_

_"Do you want anything to drink?" _Jim said walking into the kitchen.

"_I'd love some water please." _She said walking towards the couch. Along the wall there was a shelf with some framed pictures.

_"Is this your family?" _she asked picking up one of the frames when Jim came to stand beside her handing her a glass of water.

_"Yeah. That's my mom and dad, my sister Larissa and my brother Jake." He said sitting down on the couch._

_"You look just like your dad." _Pam said smiling at the picture before carefully setting it back down on the shelf.

_"Uh oh." _Jim said as Pam sat down next to him. _"Don't tell me you have a thing for older guys."_

_"Oh yeah. I'm just using you to get to your dad."_ Pam laughed.

_"Great. It's high school all over again." _Jim said sliding off his shoes and stretching his long legs out in front of him.

_"What do you want to do?" _Pam asked, shifting so that her legs were curled underneath her.

Jim looked over at her and let out a laugh when he saw her bouncing slightly on the couch like a little kid.

_"Um…well I could kick your ass at Super Mario." _Jim said.

_"Super Mario? Like on the old school Nintendo?"_

_"Of course. Those are the best games ever created. Unless you're too afraid to face the master."_

_"Oh bring it on. However, you have to promise me that you wont be a sore loser…and you will lose."_

Jim laughed and then went over to the TV to turn on the game. Pam slid down onto the floor, so she was sitting with her back pressed up against the couch. Jim walked over and handed her a controller and then sat down next to her, his shoulder lightly pressing against hers.

_"Ready?" _he asked.

_"The real question should be are you ready? I actually have mad skills with this game."_

_"Mad skills? When did you move to the ghetto?"_

Eventually, they both saw that they were yawning, so Jim turned the game off and led Pam upstairs towards his bedroom. Pam grabbed her pajamas and went into the bathroom to wash her face. When she returned to his room Jim was sitting up against his pillows wearing blue plaid pajama pants and a gray t-shirt. She set her things down on top of her suitcase and then crawled into the bed next to him. She loved that sex wasn't something that he expected from her, even though doing it with him was amazing. She had almost expected him to start kissing her, hinting towards something. Instead Jim lay down under the covers and pulled her too him. He kissed her once, sweet and gentle, said "I love you" and then turned off the light. Pam snuggled up close to him and fell asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

-1Jim poured himself a cup of coffee and walked outside to get the newspaper. He had woken up early with his arms still wrapped around Pam. She was curled up next to him, her curls tickling his cheek. He pressed a kiss gently to her lips and then carefully climbed out of bed, so he wouldn't disturb her.

He was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the sports page when the phone started to ring.

_"Hello?"_

_"Hi sweetheart."_

_"Hey Mom." _Jim said. _"How are you?"_

_"I'm good. How are you?"_

_"I'm good."_

_"How's Pam? Are you guys having a good weekend?"_

_"Yeah. We went to the reflecting pool at Nay Aug."_

_"Oh great! Well look, I was just calling to see if you guys would like to come over for dinner tonight?"_

_"Oh……" _Jim paused.

His mom must have sensed his hesitation because she said, _"If not, that's okay. I just thought I'd ask."_

_"Oh no mom, I'm glad you did. I really want you guys to meet her. Let me ask her and I will call you back, okay?"_

_"Okay. And Jim? There is no pressure. We just want to meet this girl…finally."_

_"I know. I want you to. I will ask her and call you right back."_

_"Love you."_

_"Love you too mom." _Jim hung up the phone and then placed it down on the table. He glanced up at the clock. It was amazing to him that even though she was just upstairs, he missed her. He missed the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, the warmth of her smile.

He didn't know how on earth he had made it without her for so long. He placed his coffee cup in the sink and then hurried upstairs, taking the stairs two at a time. He quietly opened his bedroom door and smiled at the sight of her. She was on her side, facing him, her arms wrapped loosely around his pillow. Her face looked so peaceful that he thought for 2 seconds about not waking her. The thought didn't last long as he crossed over to the bed in two steps and hurled himself on top of it.

_"Wake up!" _he said pressing soft kisses all over her face.

A smile broke across Pam's face and she slowly opened her eyes.

_"Good morning to you too." _She said stretching slightly. _"That was quite the wake up call."_

_"Too much sleep isn't good for you." _Jim said matter-of-factly.

_"Well thank you Dr. Halpert." _Pam said wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

_"Quick question." _Jim said as he brushed a curl off her face and gently kissed her forehead. Pam smiled. She could definitely get used to getting woken up like this.

_"What's that?" _she asked.

_"My mom called a little bit ago. She wanted to know if we wanted to have dinner with them tonight?"_

_"Really?" _Pam asked sitting up.

_"I know. It might be too soon for that, but she asked and I told her I would ask you."_

_"No……it's not that. I would love to meet your family. It would be fun."_

_"Are you sure? It's totally your choice."_

Pam was silent for a moment and then said, _"Let's do it. I really want to meet them."_

Jim studied her face for a moment and she smiled as if to reassure him.

_"Ok cool. Thanks. My mom will be really happy. I'll be right back."_

Pam watched as Jim walked out of the room. She sighed and then leaned back against the pillows. It wasn't that she didn't want to meet Jim's family. She really wanted to meet them, to see where this man that she was in love with came from. She was just worried about how they would react to her. She knew that Jim was close to his family and so she was sure that they knew at least a little bit of what had happened between them. She tried to think about if she was mother and what she would think of someone who hurt her child. She just hoped that if Jim could forgive her, than his family would be able to also.

A few minutes later Jim returned and sat back down on the bed next to her.

_"Dinner's at 6:30. She is really excited." _He leaned over and kissed her firmly. _"Thank you. This really means a lot to me."_

Pam kissed him again, threading her fingers through his hair. She knew she had to put her nerves and insecurities aside, if for nothing else but to make him happy. Jim sighed as she gently pushed him back on the bed, lips not leaving his. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and pulled her close. She moved her kisses from his lips to his cheek, then neck and then up to his ear.

"_I need to go take a shower." _She whispered in between kisses. _"Care to join me?"_

She started laughing as Jim jumped off the bed and yanked his t-shirt off over his head.

_"Is that a yes?" _she asked.

He grabbed her hands and pulled her up off the bed. She breathed in deeply as his fingers lightly grazed her side as he pulled her shirt off. She threw her arms around his neck and squealed a little as he lifted her off the ground and carried her across the hall to the bathroom. He finished undressing her while they waited for the water to warm up. Then kissing frantically they stumbled inside and he slid the curtain closed. Pam loved the feel of his hands on her skin, the warm pressure of his kisses. He loved the way that her fingers tugged slightly on his hair and then massaged lightly over his arms and across his back. The way that she moaned in his ear as he pushed into her, was like nothing he had ever heard before. He lifted her up slightly and she grabbed tightly to him as he gently pressed her back against the side of the shower. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the side as his lips found her neck. They didn't speak. Just took pleasure in what was happening and the fact that they could share this together. When they were done, they both stood under the warm spray of water, just holding tightly to each other, waiting for their breathing to return to normal. Pam smiled as she looked up at him, amazed that it got better every time.

They spent the day just hanging out. They went to the movies and went to Cuiginos for lunch. Jim remembered the first lunch they had there, and how from the moment he knew that there was something about Pam that was special. He also remembered the disappointment that he had felt when the light reflected off of the small diamond that was on her left hand. He shook the thought away because he didn't want to remember those moments anymore. He wanted to focus on what was happening now. After lunch they went for a walk around downtown Scranton, just holding hands and talking. They talked more about their childhoods and teenage years. Jim told her about the senior trip he took to California and how he had gotten sick on the roller coaster at Magic Mountain. Pam told him how she had cried for days when her pet goldfish died. Pam couldn't quite put a finger on how she was feeling. Jim had been her best friend for so long, but she had always held back with him, afraid of what would happen if she let herself give a hundred percent. She was still talking to Jim, the man who was her best friend, but now there was so much more underneath it. She loved every moment that she got to share with him, whether they were kissing, or making love or just walking around talking about a moment from their past. She loved it all.

--

Around 5:00 they went back to Jim's house to get ready for dinner. Jim pulled on clean jeans and a nice green and blue striped sweater and then went downstairs while Pam finished getting ready. He was sitting on the couch watching Sports Center when the front door opened and Mark walked in.

_"Hey man…" _he said he said as Mark flopped down into a chair. _"How was Hershey?"_

_"It was good. Once her dad got past the whole 'no one is good enough for my daughter' thing, it was pretty cool."_

_"Well I wouldn't want my daughter dating a juvenile delinquent like you."_

_"What he doesn't know Jim…."_ Mark laughed. _"Where's Pam?"_

_"Upstairs changing her clothes. We're actually going to have dinner with my parents."_

"_Man……you're exposing her to the Halperts' this soon? I thought you wanted her to stay your girlfriend."_

_"Oh and who's parents asked one of your girlfriends how many guys she had slept with the first time they met her?"_

_"Ouch. Sometimes I forget how long I've known you."_

Jim laughed and then turned his head when he heard Pam coming down the stairs. She had changed into a pair of khaki pants and a cute black top and her loose curls framed her face.

_"Hi." _She said as she walked into the living room.

Jim and Mark both stood up and Jim said, _"Pam, you remember my roommate Mark."_

_"Hi. It's nice to see you again."_ Pam said with a smile.

_"Yeah you too. So you're meeting the Halpert clan tonight huh?"_

_"Yeah. Anything I should know?"_

_"Watch out for his mom's right eye. It wanders." _Pam was still for a minute a look of slight confusion on her face, unable to tell if he was kidding. Luckily Jim saved her by bursting out laughing.

_"Jerks……" _Pam said feigning irritation, but couldn't control the smile that spread across her face.

_"Seriously though. They are great people. You'll be fine."_

_"And why should I believe anything that you say?" _Pam with a bit of an annoyed attitude. Then it was Mark's turn to be a little stunned. Pam stared at him for a moment, almost as if she was challenging him and then flashed him a smile.

_"And the point goes to Pam for the win …" _Mark laughed as Jim wrapped an arm around Pam's waist. _"You guys have fun tonight."_

Jim helped Pam on with her coat and then followed her out to his car.

_"Mark likes you." _He said as he settled into the drivers set and buckled his seatbelt.

_"He seems really cool." _Pam said quietly. She didn't say much while they drove, just stared silently out the window. She could feel butterflies forming in her stomach. Jim looked over and saw her twisting her fingers in her lap, a habit he knew she did when she was nervous or anxious.

_"Hey…" _he said softly reaching over and taking her hand. "_They are going to love you. Don't worry."_

Pam just smiled weakly and then turned back to the window, holding tightly to Jim's hand.

A few minutes later they pulled up in front of a two story brick house. Jim unbuckled his seat belt and then turned to face Pam who was still looking out the window.

_"Pam…" _he said gently. Pam looked down at her hands and then over at him.

_"Sorry." _she said. _"I'm more nervous than I thought I would be." _

_"It'll be okay. I promise. They really are nice people."_

_"Oh Jim. It's not that. I am sure they are fantastic. I just…" _Pam shrugged. _"…want them to like me."_

Jim leaned over and kissed her gently, _"They will. Come on." _He got out of the car and opened her door for her. Then lacing his fingers through hers he led her up the walkway to the front steps. He kissed her once more, gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and then opened the front door.

_"Hello?" _he called out as he helped Pam off with her coat and hung it on the hook by the door.

_"Jim?" _he heard his mom call out. She hurried into the foyer, wiping her hands on a kitchen towel. _"Hi!" _she said warmly when she saw them.

_"Mom…this is Pam. Pam this is my mom Anne."_

_"Hi Mrs. Halpert. It's so nice to meet you."_

_"Please call me Anne. And it's wonderful to finally meet you." _Anne said pulling Pam into a gentle hug. _"Come in, come in. Your dad and Jake are in the living room."_

Jim took Pam's hand and they followed his mom into the living room.

_"Hey Dad." _Jim said.

Jim''s dad and brother were sitting on the sofa watching some ball game on TV. James stood up when he saw Jim and Pam.

_"You must be Pam." _he said extending his hand. _"What you see in this guy I'll never know!"_

_"James…"_ Anne said sternly, but Pam could see the same twinkle in her eye that Jim had.

Pam just laughed and said, _"Ah…he's alright". _Jim's parents laughed and Anne winked at Jim from over Pam's shoulder making Jim smile.

_"Pam this is my brother Jake." _Jim said noticing the way that Jake wouldn't get off the couch. He just mumbled hey and turned back to the TV. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice the icy exchange.

_"Dinner should be ready in just a few minutes." _Anne said.

_"Can I do something to help?" _Pam asked.

_"Sure. Thank you for asking. Besides, when all these boys get together who knows what will happen."_

Pam smiled up at Jim before following his mom into the kitchen. Jim sat down next to his dad on the couch.

_"She seems great Jim." _James said picking up the remote.

_"Yeah. She is." _Jim said looking pointedly at Jake. Jake just stared ahead blankly at the TV.

A few minutes later Pam came back into the living room and announced that dinner was ready. Pam smiled as Jim pulled her chair out for her. It still surprised her at times how considerate he was. Then she saw his dad do the same thing for his mom and it made sense.

Dinner started off very smoothly. Pam warmed up to his parents and was soon able to laugh and joke with them. Anne asked where Pam grew up and about her interests. Jim watched with a smile on his face as Pam's eyes lit up when she talked about her internship. Anne studied Pam from across the table, watching the exchange between her and her son. She had to admit that she couldn't remember if she had ever seen Jim this happy before. At that moment she really didn't care what had happened in their past. If it had brought them to this point and they were both truly happy, then none of it mattered anymore.

Pam was having a great time. She couldn't stop laughing at the playful banter between Jim and his dad and she loved seeing him interact with his family. Her laughter died slightly when she looked across the table and caught Jake looking at her. The minute her eyes locked with his, he rolled them slightly and looked away. Pam furrowed her brow confused by the look, but then she turned her attention back to Jim before anyone noticed the slight frown on her face, hoping that she had just imagined the eye roll. However, her fears were once again confirmed, when Anne stood up to clear some plates off the table and said, _"I am so glad that you two are finally together."_

Pam looked over and Jim and gently squeezed his hand. _"Me too…" _she said softly. This was met by a loud scoff from Jake. Everyone stopped and looked at him, but he just looked down at his plate. Pam glanced at Jim and her heart sank a little when she saw his jaw tense, lips pressed firmly together looking at Jake.

_"Why don't you guys go into the living room and I'll see if I can convince James to help me bring it dessert." _Anne said quickly, hoping to relieve some of the instant tension that had settled around the table. Jake shot one more look at Pam and then shoved his chair back and stormed into the living room.

_"I'll help." _Pam said quickly standing up and stacking her plate on top of Jim's. Jim gave her a sad smile, whispered thanks and then headed in the same direction as Jake.

Jake was sitting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees with his head in his hands when Jim walked into the living room.

_"Jake. Outside. Now." _Jim said gruffly.

Jim's words were dripping with disdain and luckily Jake was the only one in the living room to hear them. Jake didn't acknowledge Jim; he just stood up and made his way outside, bracing himself for the inevitable confrontation.

As soon as the back door closed, Jim tore into Jake. __

'"What the hell was that?"

_"What? I don't know what you're talking about." _Jake mumbled.

_"Don't hand me that bullshit Jake. You know exactly what you did. You were so rude to Pam." _Jim was practically fuming, he was so angry.

_"Let's not talk about it now. I don't want to ruin your perfect day, Jim" _Jake said sarcastically.

_"No. Now is the perfect time to talk about it. What do you have against Pam?"_

_"Listen...I just don't want you to get hurt. You two don't exactly have the best track record."_

"Why do you keep thinking that I'll get hurt? I'm 27 years old Jake, I think I can handle myself." Jim shouted grabbing a basketball that was sitting on the back step.

_"Fine. Don't come crying to me when she breaks your heart...**again**."_

_"Why can't you just be happy for me for once? Things are finally going right with her and you're being all negative about it." _Jim said as he sunk the basketball into the net, watching it bounce of the garage door and roll back to him

"_I just don't see how you can forget years and years of heartache and pain over a few weeks of puppy love. I guess that's how were different_." Jake answered as he grabbed the ball from Jim's grasp and began dribbling.

_"You're going to have to get used to this different side of me because she's it for me, Jake." _Jim said jumping up and blocking Jake's shot. _"I know she's in this for the long haul. She was really nervous about meeting all of you and I thought you, of all people, would be happy for us and yet you made an ass out of yourself in front of everyone tonight. I think you should apologize to Pam."_

"_I'll apologize the day you get married...if that ever happens." _Jake said under his breath, shooting the ball.  
_  
"You don't get it do you? Pam is the love of my life and I'm not letting her slip through my fingers." _Jim grabbed the ball and chucked it back at Jake. "_I can't talk about this with you anymore. I shouldn't have to defend my decisions on who I want to be with."_

"I'm going inside, Jim. We're not getting anywhere with this conversation." Jake said as he threw the ball back to Jim.

_"Just get that apology ready, Jake 'cause it's going to happen." _Jim screamed as Jake opened the door to go inside.

Jim shot a few more baskets, trying to get Jake's words out of his head. _She loves me, he thought to himself. Jake's just trying to be over-protective of me. What if he sees something I don't. They say 'Love is Blind', don't they? No. Jake doesn't see us when we're alone. He doesn't know that Pam has told me she loves me and that we're both finally happy. _Jim slammed the ball against the garage door as hard as he could, surprised that it didn't leave a dent. He needed to cool down some more before he went inside so that Pam wouldn't think he was mad at her. His solution was short-lived though, when Pam opened the door and started walking towards him.

_"You okay?" _Pam asked with a look of concern and fear mixed in her eyes.  
_  
"What? Oh yeah just arguing about the Phillies game. Nothing big." _Jim answered, looking at the ball rolling around the driveway instead of looking Pam.

"_Jim...your brother just stormed into the house looking really mad. There's no way a game made him that mad. What is it? You know you can talk to me."_

_"I know. Seriously, Pam, there's nothing wrong. Let's go inside and eat some dessert, okay" _Jim said finally meeting her gaze.

_"Okay…" _Pam said as Jim put his arm around her shoulder and led her into the house. She knew something bigger was bothering Jim, but she also knew he was trying to spare her feelings.

They went back inside and joined Jim's family in the living room. Pam laughed and smiled at Jim when his mom showed her some of his baby pictures. Even Jake joined in the conversation a little bit, lightly teasing Jim, almost as if he was giving up a bit of a peace offering. When the time came from Jim and Pam to leave, Anne gave Pam a hug and told her that they hoped to see her again soon. Jim stood back a little and watched the exchange between Pam and his parents. They seemed to be absolutely taken with her. His mom was smiling and his dad was laughing at something that she had just said. When Anne hugged Jim she whispered in his ear, _""She's great! Absolutely great." _

Jim smiled and whispered, _"Thanks mom."_

_"See ya, Jake." _Jim said as he opened the front door.

Jake gave Jim a sad smile and said, _"Bye." _Then he shook Pam's hand and then quickly looked away.

Pam folded her small hand inside Jim's as they walked towards the car. He opened the door for her and then went around and climbed in, waving one more time to his parents who were still standing in the open doorway. As Jim pulled away from the curb, he looked in the rear view mirror to see his mom place her hand on Jake's arm, stopping him from walking inside.

--

Anne waved one last time as Jim's car disappeared down the street. Then she turned back to Jake.

_"So are you going to tell me what happened between you two at dinner?" _she asked.

Jake closed the front door and sighed before saying, _"It was nothing."_

_"It didn't look like nothing."_

Anne followed Jake into the living room and stood with her hands on her hips as he sunk down onto the couch. After a minute Jake looked up at his mom and asked, _"Do you like her?"_

_"Yes, I like her. I thought she was great."_

_"And is doesn't at all bother you that this is the same girl that ripped out your sons heart and treated it like it was worthless?"_

_"Jake…" _Anne said gently.

_"No." _Jake said stubbornly. _"This is ridiculous. We all know what happened last year. We all know that she is the reason why Jim moved and was basically a recluse for 6 months. That's not Jim. He's never been that guy before. What the hell does this girl have on him?"_

_"Look Jake. I had my reservations at first too. Everything you just said is true. She did hurt him and it would be hard to look past that. But didn't you see them together? Didn't you see the look on his face. I've never seen him like that before. Maybe all that past stuff was what they needed to truly appreciate each other now. You are entitled to your own feelings, but I think you should of at least given her a chance. She is wonderful. I'm just sorry you couldn't see that." _

Anne gave Jake a sad smile and then turned around and walked into the kitchen leaving him sitting in silence on the couch. Jake slumped back against the couch, replaying his conversation with Jim. They had never exchanged such harsh words before, at least not over something that actually mattered. He sat there for a while thinking. She did seem to make him happy, and the truth was that Jake had never met Pam before tonight, so he really didn't know what kind of person she was. After a few minutes he got up and went into the kitchen. Anne was standing at the sink, washing dishes. He grabbed a towel and started drying.

Finally he turned to her and said, _"You're right mom. I should of given her a chance. I'll call Jim tomorrow."_

Anne just smiled and with a quick glance at him said, _"I'm glad." _

--

Pam sat quietly, her hands in her lap. Jim hadn't said much since they left his parents house. She knew that something was bothering him and the silence was killing her.

Finally she looked at him and said, _"Your family is really nice. I had a good time."_

_"Yeah, they really liked you."_

Pam turned and looked out the window, _"Yeah, everyone but Jake."_

Jim hesitated and then said, _"No…it's not that. Jake just……" _he trailed off, not knowing what to say.

_"Come on Jim. I'm not stupid. I was at the dinner table."_

Jim didn't say anything, so Pam continued. _"I'm a big girl. I can take it. Trust me. I am no stranger to awkward family meetings."_

Jim smiled and said, _"Oh yeah? Why don't you tell me about that."_

_"You want to hear about Roy's family?"_

_"Oh. No I really don't." _Jim took a deep breath and then said, _"Seriously Pam, it's not that big of a deal. Jake is just being protective. I guess that's what a big brother is supposed to do."_

_"Protect you from what? From me?"_

_"He just doesn't understand…this_..._us." _Jim said quietly.

_"You did tell him that this was serious right? Why does he think that he needs to be protective of you?"_

_"I honestly don't know, Pam. I don't know what his problem is."" _Jim pulled into his driveway and turned off the car. He was quiet again and then said, _"Look let's just enjoy what time we have together before you have to go back to New York, okay?"_

Pam studied his face for a minute, not knowing quite what to say. A million different thoughts were racing through her head. _He has to know that I love him right? I've tried to show him._ Pam knew that it was just going to take time. He had loved her for years, sitting silently by watching her live what she thought was the life she wanted, just wanting her to be happy. She had hurt him and she couldn't expect him to come fully back from that in just a matter of weeks. He had hurt her too but they were finally working past that and for someone to tell Jim they had doubts scared her._ He wouldn't throw this away because of what his brother said, would he? _

It was almost as if Jim could see the thoughts that were racing through her head, because he gently put his hand on her knee and said, _"Everything is okay. Really. I love you."_

She took his hand and squeezed it gently as they walked up to his front door. They walked inside and Jim tossed his keys down on the table. Pam took off her coat and hung it up. Jim was standing behind her and she could feel his eyes on her. She turned around and without saying a word took his hand and led him upstairs. She shut his bedroom door and then walked towards him, sliding her hands from his waist, up his chest and into his hair. She kissed him deeply, running her tongue lightly along his bottom lip.

_"Jim……" _she said breathily. _"I need you to know something. When I said before, that this was it for me, I meant it. I will do whatever you need me to do to prove that."_

Jim kissed her again, pulling her flush up against his body and then pulled away slightly so he could look down at her. _"Pam, please don't let what happened tonight with my brother make you think anything. We both did things…before, that were stupid. But we need to let it go. I love you. I've always loved you and I know that you love me. That's all that matters." _

He kissed her again sighing softly as her fingers found the bottom of his shirt, skimming over the firm muscles in his stomach. He lifted his arms so that she could pull it up over his head. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against his chest, feeling his heart beating. She stepped back so that he could slide her shirt off, then wrapping his arms around her he moved back slowly to lay on the bed, pulling her down with him. They kissed for what seemed like hours, just getting lost in each other eyes and in each others touch. They made love, slowly and tenderly, eyes locked together, whispering 'I love you' over and over again, as if they couldn't say it enough. Then they fell asleep, wrapped in each others arms.

Pam woke up the next morning and turned in the bed to look at Jim. He was lying on his stomach, face turned towards her. She smiled at the boyish way that his hair fell over his eyes, sticking up slightly, ruffled from sleep. She curled up next to him, trailing her fingers over the scruff that covered his face. He stirred slightly and then opened his eyes, smiling at her.

_"Good morning…" _he said in that low, husky voice that made her heart flutter.

_"Hi……" _she said kissing him lightly.

_"How are you?"_

_"I'm good. How are you?"_

_"Great……" _she said kissing him again.

He rolled over and slid his arms around her. He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair. _"I decided something." _He said.

_"What?"_

_"You can't go back to New York. Either that or I am quitting my job today and going with you. I can't say goodbye to you anymore. I hate it."_

_"I know. I hate it too. But just think. It's only 4 more weeks, and then we won't ever be apart again."_

_"Okay……"_ Jim grumbled. _"Promise?"_

_"I promise."_ She said.

_"Do you want to go get some breakfast?" he asked._

_"Sure. That would be fun." _She said sitting up and grabbing her cell phone from her purse. _"Let me just check to see if I have any messages about the art show."_

_"Okay. I am going to go jump in the shower." _

Pam checked her messages and then climbed out of bed wrapping the blanket around herself. She was about to head towards the bathroom when Jim's cell phone started to ring.

_"Hey……" _Jim said poking his head out of the bathroom. _"Could you answer that?"_

_"Sure." _Pam said going back and sitting on his bed. She flipped open the phone and said, _"Hello?"_

There was silence on the other end and then she heard someone clear their throat before saying, _"Hi. Is this Pam?"_

_"Yes……."_ She said gripping the blanket tighter around her chest.

_"Hi. This is Jake. Jim's brother."_

_"Oh……hi. Um…Jim is in the shower. Do you want me to take a message?"_

_"Um……well yes, but I actually wanted to talk to you also." _Jake cleared his throat again.

_"Oh……okay." _

_"I just wanted to apologize for last night. I was…out of line and I shouldn't have acted that way towards you."_

_"Well, thank you. I appreciate that." _Pam was quiet for a moment and then said, _"I don't know if its going to make any difference to you, but I am in love with your brother. I just need you to know that."_

_"Thanks Pam. I hope that we can start over."_

_"Definitely…" _she said lifting her head as Jim walked back into the room, hair dripping wet, a towel slung low around his waist.

_"Here's Jim. Thanks for calling. It was nice talking to you." _Pam said smiling as Jim looked at her curiously.

_"You too Pam. Thanks." _Jake said.

Pam stood up and handed Jim the phone. _"It's Jake." _She mouthed and then kissing him quickly walked across the hall to the bathroom.

_"Jake?" _Jim asked sitting down on his bed.

_"Hey man." _Jake said quietly. Jim didn't say anything, just waited for Jake to continue.

_"Look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being a jerk about Pam. I don't know why I was being so lame about it. Its just…you're my brother and I don't want to see you go through that again."_

_"I understand and I appreciate you looking out for me, but…"_

_"I know Jim and I am sorry. She really does seem great and if you are happy…then I am happy. I just hope you'll give me a chance to get to know her again."_

Jim smiled, _"I guess we could do that. I'm sorry too."_

_"So we're good?" _Jake asked.

_"Absolutely. Thanks for calling Jake. I really appreciate it. I'll talk to you later okay?"_

_"Yeah……tell Pam to have a safe trip back to New York."_

_"I will. See ya."_

Jim hung up his phone and then smiled as Pam came back into his bedroom, her damp curls clinging to her shoulders.

_"Everything okay?" _she asked, pulling a pair of jeans and a sweater out of her suitcase. Jim came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, brushing the hair away from her neck, so he could kiss her shoulder.

_"Everything is great." _He said.

_"That was nice of him to call. I'm glad everything got worked out with you guys."_

_"Me too."_

After they got dressed, they went to breakfast and then back to Jim's house. They ended up in Jim's backyard curled up together on the porch swing, Pam with her sketch pad and Jim with a book. Pam stretched her legs over Jim's lap and studied his profile, loving the intent look on his face while he read. She flipped to a clean page and began to draw, trying to capture the firmness of his jaw and the details of his face. After awhile, she closed her book and leaned her head back against the pillow that was on the swing, just watching him. He glanced over at her and saw her watching him.

_"What?" _he asked closing his book.

_"I love you." _She said reaching over the taking his hand.

_"Good." _He said lifting her hand and pressing it to his chest. _"I love you too."_

The rest of the afternoon passed by too quickly and before they knew it, it was time for Pam to leave. He carried her suitcase downstairs and put it in the car for her. She threw her arms around his neck and laughed as he picked her up off the ground and squeezed her tightly.

_"Call me when you get into the city." _He said setting her back down.

_"I will. Have a good week. Don't prank Dwight too much."_

_"I'll see what I can do." _He said kissing her soundly. She kissed him once more before she climbed into her car and pulled away from the curb.

Jim had just walked inside the house when his cell phone started to ring.

_"Hey! Miss me already?" _he asked sitting down at the kitchen table.

_"Well yes, but actually something happened to my car. I turned the corner and it just died."_

_"Oh no……" _Jim said hurrying towards the front door. "_Well where are…" _he stopped short as he opened the front door and saw Pam standing there, hand raised to knock.

_"I don't know what to do." She said. "I have to be back for class tomorrow and no mechanic will be open today."_

_"Well, first of all let me go get Mark and we will push your car back here. Then…well…I can drive you home. I have like 80 hours of saved up vacation time. Maybe it's time I used a couple of those days."_

_"Really? You'd do that?"_

_"Of course! Just gives me more time with you."_

_"Thank you Jim."_ She saw grabbing him in a hug.

Mark and Jim pushed Pam's car back to their house and then Jim tossed some clothes into a bag and then they were on their way to the city.


	17. Chapter 17

"_Here we are…" _Pam said opening the front door to her apartment. Jim followed her inside and took their bags right to her room. Pam collapsed on the couch and Jim came to sit next to her pulling her feet into his lap.

"_Have I thanked you enough for driving me all the way up here?" _Pam asked leaning her head on his shoulder.

"_Yes, but if you wanted to thank me some more…I could think of a couple of ways."_

"_Jim!"_ Pam said softly slapping his arm.

"_What?" _Jim asked innocently, a smirk crossing his face.

"_Well I just might have to do that." _Pam whispered, raising her eyebrow mischievously.

"_All right…" _Jim said pumping his fist in the air exaggeratedly.

Pam laughed and then rolled her eyes mockingly, before leaning in and kissing him gently.

"_So what are you going to do while I'm at class tomorrow?" _she asked nestling her head back against his shoulder.

"_I don't know. What does one do in New York city, when they are not off taking fancy art classes and working at world famous museums?"_

"_I'm not sure. I haven't really gotten to that part yet."_

"_Well I actually have a cousin that lives here. I haven't seen him in awhile. Maybe I'll see if we can meet up or something. Could I meet you for lunch?"_

"_You better…"_ Pam said smiling. They both looked up as the front door opened and Natalee and Aidan walked in.

"_Pam!" _Natalee said as Pam stood up to give Natalee a hug. _"Hey Jim." _She said giving him a quick hug. _"What are you guys up to?"_

"_Nothing. Just got here not to long ago. My car broke down, so Jim drove me back."_

"_Oh that sucks about your car."_

"_Yeah, but its okay." _Pam said smiling up at Jim before leaning into him and threading her fingers through his. _"So what have you guys been doing?"_

"_Well…we actually have some big news." _Natalee said sitting in the chair across from the couch.

"_What?" _Pam asked.

"_We set a date…for our wedding. December 15th…here at the Plaza."_

"_That's great you guys! Congratulations." _Pam said.

"_Yeah, congratulations. That's awesome." _Jim added.

"_Thanks, we're excited." _Natalee said smiling up at Aidan. _"So what are you guys doing tonight? Want to celebrate with us?"_

Pam looked over at Jim and he nodded, _"Sure that'd be great."_

"_Awesome, let's change and we'll go." _Natalee said standing up, and then following Aidan down the hall to her room.

Pam and Jim walked into Pam's room and the minute she shut the door she felt Jim's lips on her neck.

"_We are supposed to be getting dressed." _Pam said turning around and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"_I know…" _he said between kisses. _"…but you have to get undressed first."_

Pam laughed softly and then pushed him onto the bed, kissing him passionately.

Eventually, they got dressed and went out into the living room.

"_You guys ready to go?" _Natalee asked, when her and Aidan came back into the living room.

"_Yep." _Pam said as Jim helped her on with her coat.

They went to a small Italian bistro a few blocks away for dinner. They sat in the restaurant, eating and laughing for a couple of hours. They talked about Aidan and Natalee's wedding plans and the art shows. Jim and Aidan talked about sports and Jim asked Aidan about his job. Pam sat quietly for a few minutes, a smile on her face as she watched Jim. He was so good with people, genuinely interested in what they had to say. Jim looked over and saw her watching him. He smiled, gently squeezing her leg under the table before turning back to his conversation with Aidan. Natalee caught Pam's eye and gave her a sly thumbs up before mouthing, _"He's great!" _

Pam smiled brightly, realizing that she was unable to picture what her life had been like before this. She remembered enough to know what it was like when he wasn't around and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she never wanted to experience that again. After a few obvious glances from the waiter, they paid the bill and made their way outside. Aidan had to leave early in the morning so Jim and Pam said goodbye and decided to walk for a bit. It was a nice night, with a warm breeze and a surprisingly clear sky. Pam wrapped her arms through Jim's and leaned into him slightly, resting her head against his bicep as they walked.

Jim just smiled, casting glances down at her every so often, knowing that this is what it meant to be completely and utterly happy. He still couldn't believe that she was here, in his arms, smiling at him the way he had always dreamed she would. Suddenly he stopped walking and Pam looked up at him inquisitively.

He turned to face her and slowly brought his hands up to gently cup her face. She didn't say anything, just looked up at him and he could see the love in her eyes. He just whispered, _"I love you…" _before he bent down, firmly pressing his lips to hers. She wasted no time throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him back. When they finally pulled apart, Pam tightened her grip slightly and pressed her face into his chest. They stood that way for a long time, Jim's arms wrapped all the way around her waist, cheek resting against her head and Pam with her arms wrapped tightly around him, breathing him in. Jim kissed her one more time before gently wrapping his arm around her shoulders and then continuing down the sidewalk.

When they got back to Pam's apartment they went immediately into Pam's bedroom to get ready for bed. Pam sat cross legged on her bed while Jim finished getting dressed. He pulled a t-shirt on over his head and then walked over to the bed stopping in front of Pam. He reached and out pulled her up so she was kneeling in front of him. She put her arms back around him, running her hands across his broad shoulders and over his muscular back. He leaned down and pressed soft kisses in a trail from her lips to her cheek and down to her neck. She sighed happily as she felt him place his hand behind her head and gently lower her back onto the bed. She loved the slight pressure of his body on top of hers, but also loved the fact that he was so gentle and tender with her. He made her feel beautiful and confident in a way that she had never felt before. She traced her hand lightly over his cheek, smiling up at him before pulling him back down to meet his lips with hers.

**BEEP BEEP **

Pam groaned as the alarm jarred her awake. She hastily reached over and shut off the alarm hoping that it hadn't woken up Jim. She rolled over and smiled when she saw him. He was lying on his back, one arm stretched over his head. It felt so right to have him here, lying next to her. Despite everything that had happened between them in recent weeks and the pure happiness that Pam was feeling, it was quiet moments like this when she realized how much she loved him and how close she had come to losing him and the familiar feelings of regret and sadness would begin to creep back in. She would see the pain in his eyes when she said "I can't", the longing glances that she tried so hard to ignore, the ache in her heart when she walked into the office and found his desk empty. She could feel a lump forming in her throat as she tried to push away those memories, but somehow she couldn't shake the fear that she would wake up one day and he would realize that all the hurt he had gone through wasn't really worth it…she wasn't worth it. She didn't want to have these thoughts. She had thought that she had proven to herself that she could be okay on her own. She liked the person that she was becoming, but being with Jim made her realize that he just enhanced that. He made her even better and she couldn't bear the thought of losing that. She was caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed that he had woken up and was looking at her.

"_What are you thinking about?" _he asked softly, startling her back to reality.

"_Oh...hey…" _she said quickly blinking back the tears that had formed in her eyes. _"Did you sleep okay?"_

"_Yeah. Slept great." _ Pam could feel Jim searching her face quizzically.

"_Good…" _Pam said, lightly clearing her throat before meeting his gaze.

"_Everything okay?" _he asked reaching over and draping his arm lightly across her waist.

Pam smiled and kissed him softly. _"Yup…everything is fine."_

Pam could tell by the look on Jim's face that he didn't really believe her, but he just pulled her close and kissed her soundly.

Pam lay still for a few minutes, just enjoying the feel of his arms around her, the way he whispered "I love you" into her ear. Then, she begrudgingly sat up and turned to look at him, _"I have to go get ready. Did you ever get a hold of your cousin?"_

"_Yeah…." _ Jim said sitting up, stretching his legs over the side of the bed. _"I'm meeting him at his place around 1:00. Do you still want to meet up for lunch?"_

"_Of course…" _Pam said. _"I should have a break around 11:00."_

Pam gave him one last kiss before opening her bedroom door and heading down the hall to the bathroom. She showered and dressed quickly. She went back into the kitchen to see Jim and Natalee sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, a cup of steaming tea and a place of toast waiting for her.

"_Thanks…" _she said, lightly running her fingers along the back of Jim's neck as she sat down next to him. She ate quickly and then giving Jim a hug and kiss goodbye grabbed her bag and followed Natalee out of the apartment.

Pam was sitting at a desk working on some sketches for her final project, when her cell phone rang.

"_Hey Kate…" _Pam said flipping open her phone and balancing it on her shoulder while she continued to sketch.

"_How's it going?" _Kate asked.

"_Good…good. Just at class. Working on some stuff. What are you doing?"_

"_Driving to a meeting. I just realized that I hadn't talked to you in awhile and I wanted to see how things were going…you know with Jim and everything."_

"_Things are great. Jim is…great. He's actually here for a couple of days. My car broke down and he drove me back up here."_

"_Oh that was sweet…" _Kate said.

"_Yeah…he's…just amazing."_

"_Sounds like it. Can't wait to actually meet him in person. He sounded nice on the phone…but it's not quite the same."_

"_Yeah…" _ Pam said, and then she paused. _"Wait…what? When did you talk to him on the phone?"_

Kate was silent for a moment, before awkwardly clearing her throat.

"_Kate…" _Pam pressed a little more firmly.

Kate sighed and then said, _"Ok…now Pam…doesn't get upset. It's really, really no big deal."_

"_What isn't a big deal?" _Pam asked. She set down her sketch book and gripped the phone a little tighter.

"_Ok. Well the day after your friends wedding….when you went back to New York, I called him."_

"_You called him? Why?"_

"_Pam…come on. It's not big deal."_

"_Tell me Kate." _

"_I called him to tell him that he shouldn't give up yet. That he should try again…you know…with you."_

"_You told him what?" _Pam said, hearing her voice rise slightly.

"_I just…you were so devastated Pam…and I knew that he wasn't over it. I just wanted you to be happy."_

"_I can't believe you did that Kate. Seriously."_

"_Why not? It worked didn't it?" _

"_That's not the point."_ Pam said fighting back the tears that were forming. _"The point is that what if you hadn't called? He wouldn't have tried again. It wasn't his own doing."_

"_Oh come on Pam. You know that's not true. Me calling him to tell him to try again is nothing. He loves you. He has been in love with you this whole time. That didn't happen from me calling. What did you expect? He was probably just as scared as you. This doesn't change anything Pam. I can't believe you're getting upset over this."_

"_You don't understand. It just….I can't explain it. I thought he came back on his own. I didn't think he needed coaching from my sister…whom he's never met."_

"_Pam." _Kate said forcefully. _"Stop. It's not even like that at all. He loves you. You love him. Both of you were hurt and apprehensive."_

"_You said you knew he wasn't over it. How could you possibly have known that? You just made him feel sorry for me."_

"_Holy shit Pam. Seriously you have got to stop this. That is ridiculous and you know it. He came back because he wanted to…not for any other reason."_

"_I have to go Kate."_

"_Pam…don't be upset."_

"_I…This just changes things…."_ Pam said quietly.

"_Pam…." _Kate said forcefully.

"_I have to go. I'll talk to you later." _Pam said and then she quickly hung up the phone. She really couldn't figure out why that had upset her so much. All she could think was what if Kate hadn't of called him. Would he have come to her apartment that Saturday? Would he have kept e-mailing her? Would he have even thought about giving her another chance? All the doubt that Pam had been feeling that morning about her lack of deserving him, hit again with full force. She sat at the desk, staring blankly at the wall until her cell phone ringing again jarred her out of her thoughts. She sighed when she saw that it was Jim. She didn't want to let this get in the way of how well things were going with them, but she couldn't stop replaying the conversation with Kate in her head.

"_Hello?" _She said softly hoping that he wouldn't be able to hear the sadness in her voice.

"_Hey! How are you?" _The lightness in his familiar voice made the tears start to prickle in her eyes again.

"_Um…I'm okay." _

Jim paused and then said, _"Good. When should I come by?"_

"_Oh you know what? I am actually really busy right now. I want to try and get this stuff done before the end of the day."_

"_Oh….um…okay?" _Jim said questioningly.

"_I'll see you tonight. Have fun with your cousin."_

"_Yeah…guess I'll see you later."_

"_Bye." _Pam hung up quickly and immediately regret overwhelmed her. She knew that he knew that something was up and that eventually they would talk about it, but by then the situation would already by more escalated than she wanted it to be. She wanted to call him back, but she stopped when she realized that she didn't know what to say. She knew deep down that she was probably overreacting, but she couldn't get the thoughts out of her head. She tried to resume with her sketching, but was unable to concentrate. After twenty minutes of staring at a blank piece of paper she finally decided that sitting here any longer was useless. She threw her books into her bag and slowly walked out of the building.

She was sitting at the kitchen table mindlessly playing Solitaire on her computer when there was a knock at the front door. She quickly hurried over and opened it to reveal Jim standing slightly hunched over with his hands jammed into his pockets.

"_Hey…" _he said, brow furrowed slightly.

"_Hi." _Pam whispered, standing aside so he could come in. She pushed the door shut and then turned to face him. He was standing rigidly by the kitchen table, looking at her expectantly. Pam gave him a small smile, knowing that this was always how it was with them. They knew each other so well that even in a five second phone conversation he knew that things were off and that they needed to talk. It was something that had always impressed her about him. His ability to read her emotions was astounding to her. He knew when she was upset or mad. He knew when it was something that a joke or good prank would fix or when all she needed from him was a smile. He had always been like that and it was one of the reasons why she had always felt so safe with him. It was almost as if that at times he knew her better than she knew herself.

"_How was hanging out with your cousin?" _she asked going towards the couch. She felt his eyes follow her as she sat down, but he made no move to sit next to her.

"_It was fine." _He said his voice even and calm, but she could see the spark in his eyes that made her know that he was waiting for an explanation.

"_Good." _Pam took a deep breath and finally held his gaze. "_Can we talk?"_

"_Sure…" _he said taking a few steps towards her, waiting for her to speak.

"_I talked to my sister today." _Pam began and then she stopped, suddenly very aware of how lame this whole thing was going to sound.

Jim looked at her with a look of slight bewilderment on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it.

"_Can you sit down?" _She asked gesturing to the couch. Jim slowly moved forward and sat on the edge of the couch. _"Ok…here's the thing." _Pam started again. _"I talked to my sister…and she told me that she talked to you…before you came up here that Saturday."_

Jim's eyes widened slightly when she said that. _"Yeah…she did." _He said leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"_Were you going to tell me about that?"_

"_Honestly?" _Jim asked. _"I hadn't really thought about it. I didn't think that it mattered."_

"_Didn't think that it mattered?" _Pam said, her voice rising slightly. _"Of course it matters."_

"_Why?" _Jim said running a hand through his hair.

"_Because….it just…matters." _Pam mumbled. Jim looked over at her, a look of genuine concern on his face. He slid over a bit closer to her.

"_What is going on Pam? Seriously. I mean…I thought things were going great and now it's all….I don't know."_

"_Things were going great…**are** going great." _Pam corrected. "_This is nothing…it's stupid."_

"_Pam…if it's how your feeling it's anything but stupid." _Jim reached over and placed a hand lightly on her knee. _"Come on…"_

Pam looked down at her hands that were twisted together in her lap. She knew that she had to be honest with him. He deserved that from her. She sighed softly and then placed her hand over the top of his.

"_You are so amazing Jim. These past few weeks have been the best weeks of my life. I have never known what it was like to feel like this. I am so in love with you Jim and I am so grateful to you for so much."_

Jim looked slightly confused, but let her continue.

"_I just sometimes can't help but think that I really don't deserve this…I don't deserve you." _ Pam swallowed the lump in her throat; unable to meet his gaze for fear that she would lose her nerve. _"When Kate told me that she had called you, it was almost like my fears had come true. What if she hadn't of called you Jim? Would you have come here? Would you of tried again? I guess in all honesty I should be glad that she called you…it's just….I don't know. This isn't making much sense."_

Jim waited a moment and then cleared his throat. _"First of all Pam, don't ever…ever think that you don't "deserve" me. The things that happened between us were not all your fault. I have plenty of the blame in this. I bombarded you with…all of that and then I just left when you didn't immediately respond the way I wanted you too. I thought that if I made a clean break then it would be easy to move on…to let you go." _Jim paused. _"It didn't work. I never fell out of love with you Pam. I just didn't know how to come back to it…to you. I always held onto the knowledge that you kissed me back…on Casino night. I felt it, but I needed to see it from you. Yes, it was your sister called me, but all that means to me is that you loved me enough to let me go because you thought that's what I wanted. I came here that day because her phone call gave me the small bit of hope to try again. It was just the kick start."_

Pam smiled, but then blurted out, _"But what if she hadn't of called you?"_

Jim squeezed her hand softly and then said, _"I don't know Pam. But does it really matter? We are together now, because we want to be. Because we love each other. Maybe that's all that matters."_

Pam nodded. She knew he was right. Questioning the unknown wasn't going to help anything. She knew that he loved her and she loved him and that was enough. _"I'm sorry that I got upset."_

Jim wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. _"Pam…don't ever apologize for how you feel. Seriously. We'll always work it out…together." _He turned his head to press a soft kiss against the side of her head. She sighed contentedly as she draped her arm across his stomach, tracing her fingers lightly across the hem of his shirt. They were sitting quietly, wrapped in each others arms when Jim's cell phone started to ring. He loosened his hold on Pam slightly to dig his phone out of his pocket.

"_Hello?" _he said flipping the phone open.

Pam looked at him curiously as he stood up and walked into the kitchen. She leaned forward slightly so she could see him, pacing back and forth, one hand shoved into his pocket.

"_Okay….yeah….sure. That sounds great. See you then." _Pam heard him say. She watched him hang up the phone and then saw his shoulders rise and fall as he took a deep breath before turning back to her.

"_Who was that?" _she asked immediately clasping his hand in hers as he sat back down on the couch next to her. He was quiet for a few moments. Pam turned to look at him, concern furrowing her brow. _"Is everything okay?"_

"_Well…um…actually that was David Wallace." _

"_Really? From corporate? What did he want?"_

Jim turned to look at her. _"He wants me to come in for an interview."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah. I don't know exactly what the job is…but I told him I'd come in for the interview."_

"_Jim! That's great!"_

"_You think so?"_

"_Absolutely. Jim, you're so great. You can do anything."_

Jim blushed slightly and kissed Pam's temple. _"I'm not sure anything will come of it, but I couldn't say no." _ He paused and then said, _"Crap. What happens if I get it?"_

"_What do you mean what happens?"_

"_I mean…you're almost done here. I'm assuming it's a job that's not in Scranton. What about…this…us?"_

"_Then we figure it out…together. Remember? You told me that before? If you get this job and it's something that you want to do, then we will figure it out." _Pam smiled and leaned her head against his chest.

"_I love you Pam."_

"_Well what's not to love?" _she said snuggling deeper against him. Jim rubbed his hand lazily up and down her arm and she sighed happily.

Pam woke up around eight. Jim had had to borrow some clothes of Aidan's that Natalee had in her closet for his interview. Pam grabbed the blue shirt and black pants and took them out into the living room to iron them. She smiled to herself as she worked, loving how right it felt to be ironing his clothes. After the clothes were ironed she set to work making some breakfast. She was so busy focusing on not burning the omelet that she didn't hear the door to her bedroom open and Jim come up behind her. He slid his arms gently around her waist and pressed a soft kiss against her neck.

"_Good morning…" _he whispered into her ear in the deep, husky voice that made her shiver.

"_Hi…" _she said taking the pan off the burner and turning in his arms so she could wrap her arms around his neck. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment before kissing the tip of her nose and then making a trail of kisses from her nose, to her cheek, to the sensitive spot behind her earlobe.

"_Breakfast is ready…" _she murmured tilting her head slightly. She felt him grin against her neck as he continued to brush his lips from her ear to her neck and back.

"_You're going to have to stop doing that if you are going to make it to your interview on time." _She said after a few minutes.

"_That's a risk I am willing to take." _He said tightening his arms around her waist. Pam smiled happily as she ran her fingers gently through his hair.

"_Tell you what. I will definitely make it worth your while…after your interview."_

Jim sighed exaggeratedly and then rubbed the scruff on his face against her cheek making her laugh. _"Fine…but I am holding you to that." _He kissed her once more and then sat down at the kitchen table. Pam put the omelet on a plate and set it in front of him, along with a cup of coffee. She was about to turn back to the stove when she felt Jim's fingers close around her wrist. She looked down at him and her breath caught in her throat at the look that was in his eyes.

"_What?" _she asked softly.

"_How in the hell did I get to be so lucky?"_

"_It's just an omelet. And you might want to save that comment until after you eat it. You know about my lack of cooking skills."_

"_You know what I mean Pam. This is everything I've ever…" _Pam could have sworn that his eyes had started to glisten, but he just smiled and said, _"Thank you."_

Pam leaned over and cupping his face in her hand kissed him firmly and said, _"I love you too."_

After they ate Jim hurried to take a shower and then got dressed. He stood in front of Pam as she straightened his tie.

"_You look great!" _she said smoothing his tie over his chest. _"Good luck. You're going to be amazing."_

"_Thanks. How lame is it that I am kind of nervous?"_

"_Pretty lame Jim…pretty lame." _She shook her head in mock disappointment.

"_Thank you. That helps a lot."_

"_Whatever I can do." _She said with a smile. _"You'll call me when you're done right?"_

"_I guess…" _he said. He bent down to kiss her quickly and then waved as he walked out the front door.

Pam cleaned up from breakfast, took a shower, got dressed and then headed to the museum.

"_Hey!" _she said setting her bag on a table and sitting down next to Natalee. "_How was your long weekend in Boston?"  
_

"_It was great! Got started on some of the wedding plans. Speaking of which…I have a question for you."_

"_Sure. What's up?"_

"_I was wondering if you would be one of my bridesmaids?"_

"_Oh my gosh! Of course! I would love too!" _Pam said happily.

"_Yea! I am so glad." _Natalee said giving Pam a quick hug. _"So what have you and Jim been up to?"_

"_Oh actually…he has an interview today. At the corporate offices for the company we work for."_

"_Wow! That's awesome. What's the job?"_

"_We're not sure yet. He's going to call me as soon as he's done."_

"_Did you talk about what would happen if he got it?"_

"_Not really. Just that we'd figure it out together. We didn't really get into details, but I'd move here with him. If he got it."_

"_Pam that's great! Let me know when you find out!"_

"_I will definitely. So what are you thinking for colors for the…_" Pam started before she was interrupted by the art director's secretary coming into the room.

"_Pam…Marcie wants to see you in her office."_

Pam shot Natalee a confused look before following the secretary to the elevator. Twenty minutes later she left the art directors office and went back down to the basement room where Natalee was waiting.

"_What happened?" _Natalee asked the minute she walked in.

Pam stared at her, slightly stunned for a moment. _"She offered me a job."_ She finally managed to squeak out.

"_What?! Pam! That's amazing!" _Natalee ran to Pam and threw her arms around her. "_What's the job?"_

"_She wants me to be a part of the new marketing team, helping with the design of the graphics for promotional fliers and the website." _Pam took a deep breath.

"_That is totally fantastic! You will be awesome at that." _Natalee took a step back. "_What's wrong? You don't look that excited."_

"_I am! I'm just in shock I guess. I can't believe it."_

"_What did you say?"_

"_I told her thanks for the offer, but I was hoping I could take a couple days to think about it. She said that was fine. I need to let her know on Thursday."_

"_What is there to think about?" _Natalee said quickly, before the realization sunk in and she muttered, _"Oh….Jim."_

"_Yeah I mean…I know he'll be excited and everything, but he's at a job interview too and I kind of want to see what his job is before I make up my mind. I mean there's a chance that it will be here in the city…but what if it's not. I can't take a job here, if he's taking one somewhere else. This is a big deal for him…and I don't want to downplay it. If he gets this job and wants to take it, then I don't want to stand in the way of that."_

"_That makes sense. Just make sure that you tell him about it."_

Pam smiled weakly and nodded before turning back to her checklist.

Jim sat in the reception area of the Dunder Mifflin corporate offices his fingers nervously tapping against the arm rest of the chair. David Wallace had been very vague on the phone and so he wasn't sure what to expect from this interview. He was quietly flipping through his sales portfolio that Phyllis had faxed over to him, when the door to the office opened.

"_Jim?" _

His head jerked up quickly and his eyes widened slowly when he saw who was standing in front of him.

"_Karen…"_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 17**

"_Uh…hi." _Karen said still rooted in the same spot.

"_Hi." _Jim said a little stunned to see her standing in front of him. He knew that she still worked for Dunder Mifflin, but the thought that he might see her around the offices had never really crossed his mind.

"_What…what are you doing here?" _She asked, somewhat nervously.

"_Um…job interview. What about you?"_

Karen let out a small laugh…or scoff, Jim couldn't be sure. _"Job interview."_

Jim nodded, amazingly not surprised by the irony that seemed to make its presence known in his life at the weirdest times. Karen sat down across from him and pulled a file folder out of her briefcase.

They sat in awkward silence for a good ten minutes before Karen piped up, _"How's Scranton?"_

Jim cleared his throat, unsure if he wanted to make small talk with her or not. _"You know it's…Scranton. It's…unique."_

Karen rolled her eyes slightly, _"So nothings changed huh?"_

"_Not so much. I think Andy might have changed his dosage of Ritalin, but other than that…."_

"_Glad to hear it." _Karen said with a brief, close-lipped smile. Then the awkward silence took over again. Luckily they were saved by Grace, the receptionist calling out, "_Karen Fillipelli? David will see you now."_

Karen stood up and picked up her briefcase. She gave him a small wave and began to walk away, but then she stopped and turned around.

"_Are you happy Jim?" _she asked in a hushed tone. Jim wasn't sure that he wanted to answer, but the look on her face was calm and he knew she was sincerely asking him.

He looked at her and nodded, _"Yeah…I am_."

She smiled at him, a real smile that lit up her face. _"Good. Me too." _She waved again and was gone.

Jim smiled to himself as she walked away. Everything with her seemed to be a lifetime ago.

About twenty minutes later the receptionist looked up again from her desk and said, _"Mr. Halpert? David is ready for you."_

Jim took a deep breath, stood up and walked towards the double glass doors that led to David's office.

--

It was a little after 10:00 when Pam's cell phone rang.

"_Hey!" _she said answering it after the first ring. _"How did it go?"_

"_Well…it went…okay. Can I come by?"_

"_Yeah…absolutely. I'll see you in a little bit."_

"_Ok…bye."_

She tried to concentrate on her work, but found it useless. This was a big step for Jim's career and she was hoping for good news.

It seemed like hours had passed before her cell phone buzzed signaling a text message.

I'm in the back parking lot

She tossed her clipboard on the desk and hurried upstairs to the back door. Jim was leaning against his car looking at his cell phone when she pushed open the door.

"_Hey!" _she said hurrying down the stairs and across the parking lot towards him. He looked up; his face that was usually so full of some sort of emotion was hard to read. She was about ten steps away from him when she held her hands up questioningly. He stared blankly at her for a few seconds and then his face broke into a huge smile. Pam's eyes widened and then she ran the last few steps and jumped into his arms.

"_You got it!" _she said happily, as Jim's arms tightened around her waist, lifting her slightly off the ground. She kissed him quickly before he set her back down. _"Tell me all about it!"_

"_Well, the official title is Regional Director in Charge of Sales. Great salary, benefits, company car…the whole package. I would be working out of a division of the corporate offices…." _Jim paused. _"…in Philadelphia."_

Pam's breath caught in her throat and she quickly looked away before he could notice any change in her expression.

"_Oh Jim. I am so proud of you." _She wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him firmly. He brought his hands up to gently cup her face, letting his fingers slide into her hair.

"_Well if I had known that I'd get this as a reward I'd of interviewed months ago." _He whispered in between kisses.

"_So…." _Pam said pulling away slightly. _"Did you take it?"_

"_I have until Friday to let him know. I told him I had to discuss it with my girlfriend first." _

"_Really?"_ Pam asked smiling up at him.

"_Of course. Remember…we do this together."_

Pam smiled and then laid her cheek against his chest. _"I think you should take it."_

"_You do?" _

"_Absolutely. This is a huge deal Jim."_

"_What about…you…and after the internship and everything?" _Jim asked.

Pam's heart swelled at those words. He was always putting her ahead of himself. Always more concerned about her happiness than his own. If it was possible she fell even deeper in love with him. She knew that it was her turn to do something that showed him that he was first. She needed to make a sacrifice for him. He deserved this job. He'd be good at the job and she wanted him to take it. Plus, she knew that her dream of pursuing art wouldn't be lost. She could start anywhere…as long as it was where Jim was.

"_I can find a job anywhere." _She said. _"This is a big deal for you."_

"_I love you." _He said pulling her tighter into his arms.

"_I love you too." _She said.

"_Are you sure about this? I mean…we can talk about it more."_

"_What else is there to talk about? It sounds fantastic. And Philly is an amazing city. You deserve this Jim. When will you have to be there?"_

"_If I take it…" _ Jim began.

"_When you take it…" _Pam interrupted with a smile.

Jim laughed softly before continuing, "_Either way…I'd have to be there the second week of June."_

"_Well that gives us plenty of time."_ Pam said.

"_To do what?" _Jim asked.

"_For me to find a job…for us to find a place to live."_

"_Are you asking me to move in with you Beesly? Isn't it a bit too soon?"_ Jim asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"_You know what? You're probably right. We should just keep doing the long distance thing."_

"_No way. You're not getting off the hook that easily. Sorry, but you're stuck with me for the long haul."_

Pam kissed him again and said happily, _"I'm more than okay with that. If I get to be stuck with someone, there's no one I'd rather pick."_

"_So…you're really okay with this whole job thing? I mean…is it okay that it's this easy?"_

Pam smiled at him. She thought briefly of the job she had been offered, but she knew that this was something Jim needed to do. She loved her art and all the new things that she had learned, but she also knew that it was something she could take with her. She could start it anywhere. This was going to be an adventure and she wanted to take it with him.

"_Do you want this job Jim? Honestly? If there were no other factors involved…would you take it?"_

"_Yeah…I think I would."_

"_Okay. Then take it. It will be worth it."_

"_As long as you're there with me."_ He said softly into her ear.

"_I will be. This is going to be great."_

Pam glanced at her watch.

"_I better get back in. I'll try and finish early, so we can go celebrate."_

"_Sounds good." _Jim said hugging her once more. Pam turned to walk away. _"Hey Beesly?" _ He called.

Pam turned back towards him. _"Yeah?"_

"_Thank you."_

Pam smiled and winked at him and then walked back inside the building.

Jim watched her go, amazed at how easy this had just been. He had been nervous about telling her, still sometimes feeling that he was going to wake up from all of this. He had finally gotten the girl of his dreams and things were going so great, but sometimes he couldn't help but think that even the smallest shift could send it all crashing to the ground and he would lose her again. He was more in love with her now than he thought was possible and the prospect of starting a new life with her was exciting to him. He was surprised at how quickly Pam had agreed to move with him, seeing that the Pam he used to know was very wary about making big, life affecting, decisions. New York had changed that part of her. It was at that moment, standing in the parking lot, happier and more confident than he had ever felt before, that Jim Halpert made an impromptu decision.

He got into his car and pulled out of the parking lot. 45 minutes later he was back in his car driving towards Pam's apartment, extremely aware of the small, black velvet box that was burning a hole in his pocket.

He knew that it was probably too soon to propose, but just having the ring…knowing that sometime in the near future he would propose to Pam with it, made him even happier than he was already. If someone had told him a year or even six months ago that he would be moving to Philadelphia with Pam and that he would have just purchased an engagement ring to give to Pam, he would have told them that they were crazy. He let himself into Pam's apartment and after carefully stashing the ring in the inside pocket of his suitcase he pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt and settled in front of the TV.

His cell phone ringing woke him from the extremely uncomfortable position that he had fallen asleep in. He carefully sat up, running his hand over the back of his neck as he fished his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open.

"_Hey…" _he said.

"_Hi. I just wanted to let you know that I am on my home."_

Jim smiled, thinking how soon 'home' would mean _**their**_ home…together.

"_We have some serious celebrating to do…" _Pam continued. _"…so I was thinking that we could either go out somewhere or stay in and order take-out. It's your night to celebrate so you choose."_

"_Wow…tough choice. I am thinking that getting some take-out and staying in sounds like the perfect way to celebrate. I just want to spend some time with you."_

Jim could practically hear Pam smile over the phone. _"Good…" _she said. _"There are some take-out menus in the drawer next to the fridge. Pick what you want. I should be there in about ten minutes."_

"_Sounds good. See you in a few."_

Jim hung up the phone and grabbed the take-out menus. He was sitting at the kitchen table when Pam walked through the front door.

"_Hey!" _she said setting her bags down and walking over to Jim. He pulled her into his lap and she wrapped her arms around his neck. _"Did you find what you wanted for dinner?"_

Jim didn't answer, just kissed her gently on the lips. He kissed her for a few minutes before pulling back and whispering, _"Where's Natalee?"_

Pam smiled, _"Having dinner with her parents. Won't be back until later."_

In one swift motion Jim stood up, still holding Pam in his arms. She kissed him firmly as she wrapped her legs around his waist and laughed softly as he carried her towards the bedroom. He laid her on the bed before pulling his t-shirt off over his head and throwing it in the corner of the room. She grinned widely before hooking her thumbs through the belt loops on his jeans and pulling him down to her.

Later, they lay quietly in bed, legs still tangled together under the sheets. Her head was resting on his shoulder and her fingers were softly trailing across his chest. Jim loved this time with her. The stillness, the closeness. The feel of her body next to his, the warmth of her skin under his fingers. It still amazed him sometimes how perfectly they fit together, in all aspects of their lives.

"_Have I told you how proud I am of you?" _she asked quietly.

"_Thanks." _He said kissing the top of her head. _"I still can't believe that I actually got the job. Can you imagine the hysterics when we tell Michael that neither one of us are coming back?"_

"_We better get one hell of a goodbye party." _Pam said wrapping her arm tighter across his chest.

"_Unless Michael finally snaps and takes us hostage. You know how he gets about his work family." _ Jim laughed.

They stayed in bed for a while longer, kissing and making small talk. They got up and dressed when Jim's cell phone rang. He sat on the couch and talked to his brother, while Pam ordered dinner.

"_Jake is coming up here for a work thing this weekend. He wanted to know if we want to have dinner." _Jim said tossing his phone on the coffee table as Pam came to sit next to him.

"_Oh…yeah. Definitely. That would be fun."_

"_Well I know your show is next weekend, plus with moving and job searching and everything we'll be pretty busy, so I wanted to talk to you and see what would work for you."_

Pam smiled and shook her head slightly in amazement. This was what a real relationship was supposed to be like. It was supposed to be people talking and deciding together what to do with different aspects of their lives. When Pam had been with Roy, there was a lot of Roy telling Pam what he wanted and Pam just agreeing because she was too timid to do anything else. Or Roy would just do it anyways, regardless of what Pam wanted or thought. She wrapped her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"_Well things are pretty much set for the show. We did so much prep, so we wouldn't have to stress as much as it got closer. When will he be here?"_

"_Friday…"_

"_Then let's do dinner Friday night."_

"_Okay…cool. I'll give him a call." _Jim wrapped his arm around Pam's shoulder and pulled her close to him. _"So, I was thinking that I should probably head back to Scranton in the morning. I have to start transferring clients and I get the cheerful task of telling Michael that his BFF won't be working with him anymore."_

"_He'll be crushed."_ Pam said. _"You know what's weird? I think I am going to miss Scranton. We'll never have another boss quite like Michael."_

"_You say that like it's a bad thing." J_im laughed.

"_Well it kept us on our toes. Plus, deep down you know that you are going to miss Dwight."_

"_Must be really, really, really deep down." _Jim said as there was a knock at the door. Pam kissed him quickly on the cheek and as she walked towards the door said, _"You can't deny your feelings forever you know."_

They spent the rest of the evening curled up on Pam's couch, eating Chinese food and searching for houses in Philadelphia on Pam's laptop. Later, as Pam lay in bed listening to the comforting sounds of Jim's soft breathing, she realized that she hadn't thought about her job offer since she had told Jim she would move to Philly with him. Truthfully, she was a tiny bit disappointed, it was flattering to even get an offer like this, but that disappointment was soon taken over by the excitement of the possibility of her future, in Philly, with Jim.


	19. Chapter 19

_**This is the last chapter before the epilogue. Thank you so much to all of you that have read and those that have reviewed. We hope you've enjoyed this story!**_

The rest of the week seemed to race by. Jim had gone back to Scranton Tuesday night and on Wednesday told Michael about the transfer. He took it better than Jim had thought he would. He only spent half of the day on the floor behind his desk making noises that could be construed as crying. After his mini-meltdown he set to work bugging Angela about throwing the best farewell party that the Scranton branch had ever seen. Angela reminded him that she still had two weeks and then stormed out when Michael told her that she needed to make up for the last party she threw because it was "egregious". Thursday and Friday however Michael decided that he hadn't shown Jim how he truly felt about him leaving and proceeded to spend all of Thursday at Jim's desk and all of Friday trying to steal Jim's car keys. Michael was convinced that if Jim couldn't leave the building…then he wouldn't leave Scranton. Jim stopped to grab a cup of coffee and then headed towards the freeway. He felt a twinge of sympathy for Michael's mom. If he was this exhausting as an adult, Jim could only cringe at the thought of him as a child. When he had left Pam in New York they had decided that he would stay come up Friday night to do dinner with Jake and then he would help her pack a little so that he could take a load of her stuff back to Scranton. Pam's art show was the next Friday and the Saturday after that they were going to Philadelphia to look for a place to live. He yawned and rolled down the windows slightly so that the cool air would help him to feel less tired. He was about to turn his iPod on when his phone rang.

"_Hey Jake."_

"_Hey…what's up?"_

"_I'm heading out of town. What are you up to?"_

"_Nothing just checked into my hotel. Hey…what are you doing this weekend?"_

"_Well…tonight after dinner, I am helping Pam pack a little, so I can bring a load of her stuff back and then I am going back home tomorrow so that I can start packing up some of my stuff. Why?"_

"_Well look, I have an early meeting tomorrow and then I actually have to head to Philly for another meeting. Just wondering if you wanted to go with me…check out the city a little bit, maybe catch a Phillies game or something."_

"_Oh…um…sure. That'd be cool."_

"_Alright. So I am meeting you guys at Pam's apartment at 7:30 right?"_

"_Yeah…I'll be there right around then too."_

"_Cool. Well see you in a little bit."_

"_Later." _ Jim hung up the phone and tossed it on the passenger seat. Luckily he had driven the road between Scranton and New York so many times in the past months that the drive passed quickly.

Pam was sitting on a bench in the front of her building when he pulled up. He couldn't help but grin when he saw the huge smile spread across her face when she spotted his car. She was leaping into his arms before he even had a chance to close the door.

"_Miss me much?" _he said laughing as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"_Not at all." _Pam said taking his hand and walking towards the building. _"I just want you to think that I did."_

"_Yeah, yeah…."_ Jim smiled as she pulled open the door. He waved to Frank, the doorman and then wrapped his arms around Pam while they waited for the elevator.

"_So Jake called while I was driving and asked if I wanted to go to Philly with him tomorrow." _he said when they stepped inside the elevator. _"He has to go for another meeting or something and he thought maybe we could catch a game."_

"_That sounds fun. Give you a chance to see the city a little bit." _ Pam said leaning her head against his shoulder.

"_I was thinking that while he's at his meeting maybe I would check out some houses. Would that be okay? Or do you want to do that together?"_

Pam smiled at his thoughtfulness and then said, _"I trust your judgment. Plus that could give us a good head start. It's going to be busy trying to house search and move and everything in just a couple of weeks."_ She reached up and kissed him softly on the cheek. "_Thank you for asking me though."_

Pam quickly changed her clothes while Jim took a quick shower. She paused as she came across a couple of his shirts folded in her drawer, running her hand lightly across them. It made her happy to know that even with the geographical space between them their things were starting to intermingle and how right it felt.

Jim came into the room a few minutes later wearing jeans and long-sleeved white t-shirt. His wet hair was plastered across his forehead.

"_So where are we going to dinner?" _he asked sitting on the bed while Pam pulled her shirt on over her head.

"_I was thinking South's." _Pam said referring to the place that Natalee and Aidan had taken them a few weeks ago.

"_Oh that sounds good." _Jim got up and walked over to her, pulling her into a tight hug. _"Just think…one more week and we won't have to say goodbye anymore."_

"_I know. It's going to be so great. Are you sure you're ready to live with me?"_

"_Well…you are messy…and klutzy…but I think I can manage."_

Pam laughed and then stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss him.

They were sitting on the couch laughing as Jim told Pam about his day with Michael, when there was a knock at the front door.

"_Hey man…" _Jim said pulling open the door.

"_Hey brother…what's with the hair? It's looking a bit long." _Jake said stepping inside.

"_Add that to the list of things that I don't need your opinion on." _Jim laughed as he clapped Jake on the back in a hug.

"_Hey Pam." _Jake said turning to look at her as she came into view.

"_Hi Jake. It's good to see you again."_

"_You too. Congratulations on the art show. That sounds really cool."_

"_Thank you. I hope it turns out."_

Jim smiled down at Pam and then said, _"Are you guys ready? I am starving."_

"_Yeah. Let's go." _ Pam grabbed her purse and locked the door behind them.

They had a good time at dinner. Jake was a really great guy when he wasn't being surly. Pam loved watching Jim interact with him. They were really similar in a lot of ways. They both had the same green eyes and great smile. After dinner Jake hugged both Jim and Pam goodbye after he hailed a cab to go back to his hotel.

"_I'll call you about plans tomorrow." _He said to Jim as he climbed inside.

"_Sounds good man. See you later." _Jim waved as the cab pulled away, then he turned to Pam. _"Ready to get started on all that packing?"_

Pam groaned exaggeratedly and then laughed as Jim grabbed her hand and pulled her down the block.

--

"_Okay…so I'll be back Friday morning with the truck." _Jim said as they stood outside Pam's apartment at 6:00 on Saturday morning. She was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt and she had tried to tame her wild curls by pulling them up into a ponytail. She still had her glasses on and Jim thought she was beautiful. They had stayed up until about 1:30 packing most of Pam's things, leaving out only the essentials that she would need for that week. Jim grinned as she yawned loudly and then leaned her head against his chest.

"_Go back to bed…" _he said kissing the top of her head. _"I'll call you later."_

"_Have fun today." _She said wrapping her arms around his waist. "_I'll see you Friday."_

"_Okay. Good luck with everything this week."_ He reached down and gently tilted her head up so that he was looking at him. _"The show is going to be amazing. I am really proud of you. If I haven't told you that before I'm sorry…because I am."_

Pam blushed and said, _"Thank you. I love you."_

Jim dipped his head down and before he pressed his lips to hers whispered, _"I love you too."_

--

Jim quickly unlocked the door to his apartment and tossed his keys on the table that sat in the entryway. He hurried into his room and waited impatiently for his laptop to boot up. He grabbed a soda from the fridge before sitting down in front of his computer. He nervously tapped his fingers on his desk and sighed loudly when his e-mail inbox finally appeared on screen. He scrolled through the list of e-mails and perked up instantly when he found the one he was looking for.

"_Yes!" _he exclaimed jumping up out of the chair spilling soda down the front of his shirt. He pulled it off over his head and threw it in to the hamper before sitting back down and hitting reply on the e-mail. He quickly typed a response and hit send before leaning back in his chair, a huge smile on his face. He re-read the e-mail a couple of times before pulling on a pair of blue pajama bottoms and climbing into bed.

He woke up early Monday morning even though he was exhausted. He had spent most of Saturday morning and early afternoon looking at different houses around the city. Luckily he and Pam had already narrowed down the neighborhoods that they liked, so that helped his search a bit. Saturday night was spent at the ball game with Jake and then at a bar celebrating the Phillies win over the Cubs. He had crashed at his brothers' hotel room and then continued the house search all day Sunday. That's when he had found it. It was the second to last house that he was going to look at and the minute he pulled up in front of it he knew this was the house. His feeling was further confirmed when the realtor had pushed aside a pair of curtains in the master bedroom to reveal a set of French doors and outside the French doors was a terrace. It was small, but there was a trellis that had ivy growing on it and along one whole side of the railing were small white flower boxes. And as if fate were trying to seal the deal the house was way in their price range and was a fairly decent commute away from the office, downtown and a couple of great museums. He sat down with the realtor that afternoon to draw up an offer. But here he was, up at 6:00, ready to go to work and he was happy…really happy, because the offer had been accepted.

He thought briefly after he left the realtors office that perhaps he should bring Pam to see the house first, but he knew deep down that this was the house and she was going to love it. How could she not? It really was perfect. He decided on his drive into work that wanted to surprise her with the news after the stress of her art show was finished.

Unfortunately all of the excitement that Jim was feeling about this being the last week that he and Pam would have to be apart and also the enormity of the steps they were taking made the week drag on. Dwight decided that it was his duty to make Jim's last week as "rigorous" as possible to prepare him for the "intensity" of working for the corporate offices. He warned Jim more than once that other areas of the company didn't have managers (and assistant managers) as magnanimous as Michael and Dwight and he better shape up or else he would be out of a job and crawling back to Scranton before beet season was over. In response to this Jim proceeded to steal Dwight's cell phone while he was in the bathroom and change the keypad lock code.

Finally it was Thursday, Jim's last day. There was a huge banner stretched a long the entire wall of the conference room and Michael had insisted on serving jell-o and grape soda. He tried to get chicken wings from Hooters in homage to the "wonderful" memories that Michael and Jim had in that place, but Toby and Angela wouldn't approve the expense on the company credit card. It was nice enough…your typical office goodbye party. Kevin was in charge of music and luckily he conveniently "lost" the CD that had the goodbye song on it that Michael was going to sing. There was a cake, mint chocolate chip ice cream cake of course and it made Jim wonder if anyone had actually gotten a cake that _they_ liked for their birthdays/farewells. Even still, despite the obvious hilarity of what working in this branch had been Jim began to feel a bit nostalgic. This has been his first "grown up" job. Despite his carefree attitude he had learned some things here, some valuable and some that would just be good stories to tell his kids. Most importantly though, this was where he met Pam. This was where they had developed their friendship. This place held the memories that made the foundation of their relationship. This was where they had fallen in love and as much as Jim didn't want to admit it, it was going to be a little sad to say goodbye to this place.

The party ended around 5:30 and Jim said goodbye to people as they trickled out. Kevin gave him high five and Oscar shook his hand both making him promise that they'd grab a drink together before Jim and Pam left for Philly. Michael came out of his office long enough to grab Jim in a big hug and then run wailing out of the office. Andy gave Jim a handshake and said that he would always be 'Big Tuna' to him. Phyllis gave him a hug and made him promise to make sure that she and Bob Vance would be invited to the wedding. Meredith hugged him goodbye and it turned awkward when she held on to him a little bit too long. Angela curtly shook his hand and wished him and Pam the best. He could have sworn that he saw a tear in Angela's eye before she whirled around the hurried out of the office. As Jim walked back to his desk he noticed Dwight sitting awkwardly on the edge of his chair.

"_Well Dwight…" _Jim said grabbing his bag and coat from the back of his chair. _"Guess this is it."_

Dwight cleared his throat before standing up and pulling a small, brown, box from the top drawer of his desk.

"_What's this?" _Jim asked as Dwight handed him the box.

"_It's for Pam…and for you…I guess."_

"_You got me a going away present Dwight?"_

"_No Jim. You give presents to friends. You and I are…" _Dwight paused. _"…not friends."_

Jim smiled briefly. _"I'm going to miss you Dwight."_

For just a moment Dwight looked at Jim and Jim saw something there, a friendliness, or at least responsiveness that he had never seen before. As soon as Jim saw it, it was gone and Dwight looked away, grabbing his briefcase.

"_Don't be an idiot Jim. You are just realizing that you always saw me as a superior. I always should have been Assistant to the Regional Manager." _Dwight mumbled walking towards the door.

"_Don't you mean Assistant Regional Manager?" _Jim said causing Dwight to stop in his tracks. "_Bye Dwight. Good luck with…everything." _ Dwight glanced at Jim once more and then turned and walked away, but not before Jim noticed the small smile on Dwight's face.

Jim tucked the box Dwight had given him into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He glanced around the office once more before he made his way to the door. He stopped in front of the reception desk, tapping his fingers on the counter. He couldn't count the number of times that he leaned on this country or saw Pam smile at him over the top of it. He remembered the heartbreak and the longing glances, but he also remembered the closeness and friendship…and the love. He ran his hand lightly over the counter one last time, smiling to himself before he turned and walked out the door.

As he climbed into his car, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed Pam's number.

"_Hey!" _she said, answering the phone after one ring. _"How was your party? Let me guess…mint chocolate chip ice cream cake right?"_

Jim laughed, _"How did you ever guess? It was your typical office party. Kevin did karaoke, Michael cried…oh and I have a present for you…from Dwight."_

"_A present…from Dwight? Do I even want to know? Wow…seems like I missed out on a lot."_

"_Wish you could have been there huh?"_ Jim said as he backed his car out of the parking spot.

"_As silly as it sounds…I actually would have liked to be there."_

"_I wish you could have been there too. Look, I know your probably really busy…getting stuff done for tomorrow. I just wanted to tell you that I love you."_

"_I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"_

"_Definitely. Bye." _

--

Pam woke up to the sound of the alarm buzzing angrily. She rolled over to shut it off and then sat up, rubbing her eyes. She climbed out of bed and opened the door to her bedroom.

"_Morning!" _Natalee said looking up from the paper that she was reading at the kitchen table.

"_Hi." _Pam said grabbing a mug and pouring herself a cup a tea from the pot sitting on the stove.

"_Are you ready for today?"_

"_Yeah…I think so. I am going to be glad when it's over though. It was a great experience, but not really one that I want to do over and over again."_

"_Yeah, I hear you on that one. So when do you think we should head over there?"_

Pam glanced at the clock above the stove and after taking a sip of her tea said, _"Probably in about an hour. That way we can make sure that everything is done and we'll have time to come back and get ready."_

"_Alright…well I've already showered, so the bathroom is all yours."_

"_Look at you being all efficient." _Pam said, standing up and setting her tea cup on the counter.

"_It's not that. I've been on the phone with my mom since 6:00 AM talking about wedding stuff. I just needed an excuse to get off the phone."_

"_What wedding plans could your mom possibly need to talk to you about at 6:00 AM?"_

"_Well, my grandma has to fly in from London and my mom doesn't want her here any longer than absolutely necessary. It's a whole…big thing." _

"_Can't wait to hear about it."_ Pam smiled and then headed down the hall to the bathroom.

Pam took a long hot shower and then pulling on her bathrobe headed back to her bedroom to get dressed. As she walked back into the kitchen she saw Natalee grinning at her from the table.

"_What?" _Pam said running a towel through her hair.

Natalee gestured to the coffee table, where a huge bouquet of flowers was sitting. _"Those just came for you."_

A smile immediately filled Pam's face as she hurried over to the flowers. She quickly opened the card.

**I am so proud of you Pam.**

** Look what can happen when you take a chance.**

** Tonight will be great.**

**I love you.**

** -Jim**

Tears sprung into Pam's eyes and as she blinked them away a flash of gold caught her eye. Wrapped tightly around the vase was a chain of paper clips and a gold yogurt lid. She touched it gingerly and read the card again before carefully tucking it back inside the flowers.

"_From Jim?" _Natalee asked.

"_Of course." _Pam said softly, unable to wipe the smile from her face. She went into her bedroom and before she got dressed she grabbed her phone and quickly called Jim.

"_Thank you so much for the flowers." _Pam said when Jim answered the phone.

"_You're welcome. I am glad you liked them."_

"_I loved them. They are beautiful."_

"_Good. What are you up to?"_

"_We have to head out pretty soon…but I'll see you in a few hours right?"_

"_Yep. I am going to pick up the truck and then I am on my way."_

"_Great. Thanks again Jim. I really like you."_

"_Well Beesly…I really like you too. See you soon."_

--

Pam stood nervously in the corner of the main showroom watching the slowly growing crowd of people meander from painting to painting. She caught Natalee's eye from across the room and Natalee gave a reassuring smile. The show was going well and Pam knew there was no reason to be nervous. She smoothed her hands over the skirt of the black dress she had bought specifically for the show and took a deep breath.

"_Pam!" _She heard someone say her name and quickly turned to see who it was. She instantly felt some of the stress lift from her shoulders when she saw her parents and Kate walking briskly towards her.

"_Hi!" _Pam said hurrying to meet them.

"_This is awesome Pam. Look at all the people that are here." _Kate said looking around.

"_Not too bad of a turn out." _Pam said with a smile.

"_Isn't Jim coming? We still haven't gotten the chance to meet him." Diane asked._

"_Yeah…he should be here anyti…" _Pam stopped when she saw Jim from across the room. He looked amazing in a black suit and tie, yet there was something so _Jim_ about the way that his hair fell across his forehead and the way his hands were shoved into his pockets. She watched him as he looked around the room clearly searching for her. She loved the way that his whole face lit up in a smile when he saw her.

The rest of the night passed quickly. Jim finally met Pam's family and just as Pam had suspected they fell in love with him immediately. Even her dad, who was a little bit wary after everything Pam had been through with Roy, warmed up to him after only a little while. Pam stood proudly her hand resting comfortably on Jim's arm as the art director introduced her to different people. Jim couldn't keep his eyes off of her. She looked so beautiful and confident. He was broken out of his daze when he heard the art director saying, _"We were disappointed when Pam turned down the job offer…especially considering how much she has done in such a short amount of time."_

Pam quietly cleared her throat and glanced up at Jim, hoping that he hadn't heard. Soon the people moved on and they were left alone. Pam turned slowly to look at him, unable to meet his gaze.

"_We don't have to talk about this now." _Jim said softly, sensing the awkwardness of the situation.

"_No…we do." _Pam said. She looked around quickly and then taking his hand led him out onto an adjoining patio. She took a deep breath and then looked up at him.

"_Look, I was going to tell you about the job and everything. I just didn't know when would be a good time."_

"_When did you get the offer?" _Jim asked.

"_The same day you got yours."_

"_Why didn't you tell me? I could have talked to Wallace…or done something…"_

"_Because Jim…it was my choice not to take the job. You are excited the job in Philly. You want the job in Philly and I want to be with you. So…I made a choice."_

"_But…what about you…I mean this is an art job…something you want to do."_

"_And I can get an art job in Philly too…or any other type of job. Look Jim…you are always doing things for me…let me do something for you. Okay?"_

Jim didn't answer; he just smiled and bent down to kiss her gently.

When the art show was over, Jim and Pam went and got dessert with Pam's parents and Kate. Then they went back to Pam's apartment to finish packing. Around 1:00 AM Ben, Diane and Kate went back to their hotel and Jim and Pam collapsed into bed. The next morning Pam said a tearful goodbye to Natalee as Jim and her dad finished loading her stuff into the U-haul.

"_So Aidan and I are coming down to Philly for the 4th of July weekend." _Natalee said. _"And you'll be back up here for the engagement party the last weekend of June right?"_

"_Yes…" _Pam said wiping a tear from her cheek. It still sometimes amazed her how close her and Natalee had gotten in such a short period of time. She had never had many girlfriends and that made her relationship with Natalee that much more important. _"I'm really going to miss you. Thank you so much…for everything."_

Natalee grabbed her in one more hug and then turned to look at Jim who was standing a short distance back.

"_You take care of her. She's a good one." _she said with a smile giving Jim a quick hug.

"_Believe me…" _Jim said smiling at Pam. _"…I know. We'll see you in a few weeks. Tell Aidan he owed me a Madden rematch."_

"_You can count on it." _ Natalee said as Jim opened the door of the truck for Pam. Pam climbed inside and waved to Natalee as they pulled away from the curb. She sat quietly staring out the window at the passing buildings of the city. She had grown up here. She had followed her dream and finally got her love all at the same time. It was sad to say goodbye to the place that had taught her so much about life, but at the same time she could now look ahead at the life that lay in front of her and it was exciting and she was happy.

"_You okay?" _Jim asked gently, breaking Pam from her thoughts.

She looked over at him and smiled genuinely before reaching over and taking his hand. _"Yep. I am just perfect." _


	20. Chapter 20

Pam finished fastening the clasp of her necklace and then glanced at herself in the mirror. She smiled when she saw Jim sitting behind her on the bed tying his tie. She watched as he stood up and slipped his suit coat on. The past 6 months had been the best months she'd ever had. Pam didn't think that she had smiled so much in her whole life. She'd be at the grocery store and suddenly realize that the checker was looking at her weird because of the huge smile she had on her face; all because the peanut butter she had bought was Jim's favorite and she knew he'd be happy. She dabbed a bit of perfume on her neck and wrists and then walked over and slipped her arms around his waist.

"_Hey…" _he said softly turning to face her. _"Wow. You look amazing."_

"_I'm wearing khakis….and a blouse you've seen me in 100 times." _Pam said looking down at herself.

"_And your point is?" _Jim asked seriously.

"_Well thanks. You don't look so bad yourself." _Pam muttered knowing that she was blushing.

"_Yeah well I've been working out." _Jim said with a smile wrapping his arms tightly around her. Pam sighed happily as she felt Jim's lips graze across her forehead.

"_You ready to go?" _He asked after a moment.

"_No…" _Pam said slipping her hands underneath his jacket. _"Let's just stay in."_

Jim laughed and then dipped his head down to kiss her softly. _"I don't think that would go ever so well. Especially with the bride."_

"_Okay, okay…"_ Pam said reluctantly pulling away from him. She stopped when Jim pulled her back to his chest, placed his hands gently on her face and kissed her again.

When he finally pulled away Pam looked up at him a little breathless. He smirked and then said, _"Okay…now we can go."_

"_No fair Halpert…" _she said as she grabbed her coat and the garment bag that was hanging behind the door and followed him out of the room.

--

Jim opened the door of the cab for Pam and then quickly jogged around to the other side, pulling his coat tightly against the cold December night. He slid into the seat and closed the door behind him.

"_Plaza hotel please." _He said to the driver before settling back against the seat. Pam's hand instantly found his and he squeezed it tightly before placing a kiss against her temple.

"_What time is it?" _Pam asked.

"_4:30…we have plenty of time." _Jim said glancing at his watch.

"_I know. I'm just excited. I haven't see Natalee since her shower almost a month and half ago."_

"_Plus you're excited to walk down the aisle with a hot groomsman."_

"_Oh man. I had no idea I was that transparent." _Pam said playfully slapping his arm.

"_I am on to you Beesly." _Jim said squeezing her hand again.

Once they got to the hotel, they went inside and walked towards the elevator. Jim was going to hang out with Aidan and the groomsmen before the wedding and Pam was going to the bridal suite to help Natalee get ready.

"_I'll see you in a little bit." _Pam said kissing Jim quickly as he walked off the elevator when it stopped at his floor. Jim winked at her as the doors slid closed and then made his way down towards the hotel room.

Jim smiled as he heard a familiar ring on his cell phone.

"_Miss me already?" _he said flipping open his phone.

"_Not a chance…" _Pam said.

"_Fine. Good luck getting a ride back to Philly."_

"_I'll just ask my hot groomsmen."_

"_You hurt me Pam. You really hurt me."_

"_Well I have to get back, but I was just letting you know that Aidan isn't there yet and he told me to tell you to just wait outside the room and he'll be there in about 5 minutes."_

"_Ok. Sounds good. See you in a couple of hours."_

"_Oh…so you'll stick around for me?"_

"_I guess." _

Pam laughed and then said goodbye. It amazed Jim that even just the faint sound of her laughter could still make his heart flutter, but he realized that it probably always would. That was one of the things that he loved about their relationship. The connection between them was deep and strong, yet sometimes when he went to hold her hand he still felt like a teenager; and when she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him when he came home from work he still felt a little weak in the knees. The past months had been amazing. He could still clearly picture her face when they pulled up in front of the house. He knew that she had loved it immediately. They had walked through each of the rooms hand in hand and Jim could hardly keep his eyes off of her as she admired the different parts of the house. He kissed away the tears in her eyes when she saw the terrace and they almost christened the entryway when Jim told her that it was theirs.

Their lives had been going great since they moved to Philly. He found he actually liked parts of his job even though he would hardly admit that to anyone. Pam had found a job shortly after they moved into the house, teaching art classes at an education center. She only worked Monday through Thursday so she spent most of Friday drawing in the studio that they had converted one of the bedrooms into. She had met a children's book author at the education center and had been asked to submit some illustrations for her new book. They spent the weekends together exploring the city, taking long walks or cuddled up on the couch mocking bad TV and eating takeout.

Jim leaned up against the wall outside the hotel room door and slipped his hand into his pocket, pulling out a small, black velvet box. He opened it carefully and looked at the ring with a small smile on his face. Here they were, almost exactly 7 months to the day that Jim had shown up on her doorstep, back in a city that held special memories to the both of them and Jim had planned for tonight to be the night.

Two hours later Jim was sitting in a chair, in the candlelit ballroom with the other 249 wedding guests listening to the familiar sounds of Canon in D coming from the string quartet. The large wooden doors at the far end of the room opened and the wedding party started walking in. His breath caught when he saw Pam, the third bridesmaid to enter. Her hair was twisted up off her neck and the dark blue dress shimmered as she walked. She caught his eye almost immediately and smiled brightly. He smiled as she passed by, overwhelmed by a feeling of elation that this beautiful woman was his, that she loved him and after tonight she was going to be his fiancé. He watched as she parted from the groomsman and took her place with the other bridesmaids at the end of aisle. The quartet stared playing 'Here comes the bride' and Jim tore his eyes away from Pam to see Natalee enter on her fathers arm.

The ceremony was simple with Natalee and Aidan exchanging their own vows and kissing sweetly after they were pronounced man and wife. Jim caught Pam wiping a tear from her eye and as so often was the case, seemed to sense that he was looking at her. She turned slightly and winked at him causing him to smile again.

The audience stood as the wedding party exited the room behind the newlyweds and Jim followed the crowd as they made their way to the garden room where the reception was going to be held. He clapped along with everyone as the bridal party re-entered the room, but he was happy when Pam finally made her way over to him. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and stretched up to kiss him. After a minute she was swept away for pictures and Jim made small talk with some of the other guests, all the while fingering the box that was in his pocket.

Eventually Pam made her way back over to him collapsing into the chair next to him.

"_I hate heels…" _she said bending down slightly to rub her foot.

"_I'll give you a foot rub later." _Jim said casually draping his arm across the back of her chair.

"_I'll hold you to that." _Pam said. Then she quickly perked up as a song came over the sound system. _"Oh I love this song!"_

Jim stood up and held out his hand. Pam glanced up at him and eagerly took it as he led her onto the dance floor. They danced several songs, Jim's arms fitting perfectly around her for the slow ones, Pam showing off her "dorky" dancing skills during the faster songs. They posed for a picture with the bride and groom as they made their way around all the guests and they saw the flash of another picture being taken as Jim had gently cupped his hand around her chin to pull her into a quick kiss.

Eventually the reception was over, they waved and cheered as Natalee and Aidan climbed into the limo that waited out front. Pam grabbed her bag and wrapped her coat tightly around herself as she and Jim stepped out of the hotel into the chilly night air. It had snowed the night before, but tonight was clear and the city lights danced off the crisp, white snow. From the way that Pam was looking around, Jim knew that she was thinking about how she could capture this in a painting.

Jim quickly hailed a cab and held the door for Pam as she slid inside. She looked up at him in slight confusion when he leaned forward and whispered something to the driver, but she didn't think anything of it as she leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. She loved the feel of his hand on her thigh, warm through the fabric of her dress. She felt herself dozing off, when she sensed the cab stop and she quickly opened her eyes.

"_Where are we?" _she asked looking at the window expecting to see their hotel.

"_You'll see." _Jim said climbing out of the cab and then hurrying around to help Pam out. When she bent back in to grab her bag he gently stopped her arm and said, _"He's waiting. We'll be back. Come on."_

He slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close into his warm embrace. The walked for a moment, when Pam suddenly realized where they were. She opened her mouth to say something, but when she saw the look on Jim's face she stopped and decided to go with it. She knew what she hoped was coming, but she didn't want to read too much into it. They had started talking about getting married a few months ago. He had teased her the past couple months, with "fake" proposals; starting sentences with "Pam will you do me the honor of…." and then finishing with "…getting me some coffee?" It didn't bother her though. She knew that it was coming and when it did it would, as Jim had promised one night as they lay in bed together, kick her ass.

They walked for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet of the park caused by the snow. It stretched out like blank canvas, occasionally splashed with the lights that peeked through the trees. Pam walked carefully because of her heels, but Jim had one arm around her waist and the other grasped her hand tightly and she knew that she was safe with him. Suddenly Jim stopped and Pam looked around, feeling a lump form in her throat when she realized where they were. Jim looked down at the tiny hand that was clasped in his and took a deep breath.

"_Pam…" _he began, his voice low and husky. Pam closed her eyes briefly, knowing that if this wasn't it…Jim was going to have some explaining to do. She opened her eyes and looked at him, seeing the nervousness in his eyes. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, causing him to smile before continuing.

"_I have loved you…as long as I have known you. Even when it seemed like I shouldn't…or couldn't. Sometimes it scares me to think of how much I love you and how I almost lost you. You are everything to me. You are such an amazing woman and you don't even know it. I can't imagine my life without you."_

Pam blinked away the tears that were quickly forming in her eyes. She looked at this man standing before her, the man who loved her unconditionally, the man who made her feel things that she thought she was incapable of feeling, the man that she loved with every ounce of herself and it took a lot of resistance to not blurt out yes before he even asked the question. She watched with a smile on her face as Jim slowly lowered himself to one knee and reached inside his pocket. Her breath hitched as he pulled out a black box and opened it revealing the most beautiful ring she had ever seen.

"_Pam…will you marry me?"_

No sooner as he got the words out of his mouth did Pam blurt out yes, the tears finally spilling over and making their way slowly down her cheeks. Jim quickly slid the ring on her finger and stood up, gathering her up tightly in his arms. He breathed a sigh of relief, causing Pam to laugh and ask, _"Did you think I was going to say no?"_

He laughed and set her down, cupping her face gently in his hands before he kissed her.

"_Well I worried that you might need a little convincing." _

Pam rolled her eyes as she wrapped her arms around his neck. _"Nope…" _she said kissing him again. _"There is nothing else you need to say."_


End file.
